


Choices

by allofmystudensrunaway



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Apocalypse, Bi-Curious Dean Winchester, Bi-Gender Character(s), Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Grace Kink, Grace-Powered Orgasms, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Longing, M/M, Magic, Multi, Nephilim, Rejection, Sam Winchester Knows, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Smut, Snogging, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-06-29 19:53:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 46,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15736257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofmystudensrunaway/pseuds/allofmystudensrunaway
Summary: On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?Bi!dean, BI!cas, torture,pining, angst, some fluff, pissed off bitch face sam, canon divergent, Bi!female bamf oc. fluff and angst and torture.





	1. Chapter one

The bar was one of those dodgy roadhouses Dean favoured. All low lighting, sticky tables and the local drunk sat at the counter bending the ear of the bar tender. Castiel had no real reason to stop here he was only 15 minutes or so from home. But it had been a long drive from Sioux Falls to check on Jack, he told himself a quiet beer and some time not staring at highway 29 was probably a good idea. Of course there was also the other reason, the atmosphere in the bunker was strained, Dean had been so happy to have him back and Cas had been so happy to be back that he thought that this time they could sort things out between them- It had not turned out that way. He sat at the counter ordered a beer and pulled his phone from his trench-coat. Two texts from Jack reminding him about his allowance and one from Sam asking when he would be back, nothing from Dean. He drank the beer in one gulp and ordered another.

“Tough day?” the bar keep asked.

“Visiting my children.” Cas said shortly, not really wanting conversation. The man smiled sympathetically.

“Ah I get ya, wife get custody?”

“Something like that.” The man looked like he was going to inquire further, but something distracted his attention.

“well hot damn.” the man muttered. Cas followed his gaze. A woman had entered the bar, her eyes flicked over the interior searchingly before she took the stool next to him and ordered a beer.

“Hi darling” the barkeep said smiling as he put down her drink. She raised an eyebrow at him and snorted.

“Not in this world honey.” Hints of the south in her voice and other places Cas was not able to identify.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying” The barkeeper held up his hands and backed off. He retired to the other end of the counter and picked up a newspaper.

“You’re a long way from home” Cas said after a moment, mostly to cover the awkwardness he felt sitting next to someone and not speaking.

“I could say the same thing to you.”she murmured turning to look at him, Her eyes were a dark, deep brown with a hint of gold shimmering here and there. “So, what’s an angel like you doing in a dive like this?”

Cas stiffened a brief flick of his wrist slid his blade into his hand. The woman didn’t flinch she just grinned. “Put it away blue eyes, I’m not here for you.”

“You’re a hunter” It wasn’t a question. The woman shrugged and sipped her beer absent-mindedly.

“In town after a ghoul that’s all, no threat to you.” Cas flicked the blade back up his sleeve.

“How did you know-”

“What you are? Call it a talent, I can see your halo.” They drank in silence for a moment.“So what’s your name choir boy?”

“My name is Castiel and I am definitely not a choir boy.” he growled annoyed.

“Easy tiger, I can see that, something different about you.” she tipped her head to one side examining him minutely. It made Cas uncomfortable he shifted in his seat and pulled at his tie. The woman seemed to come to some sort of decision. “You have been through the mill haven’t you Castiel. Most of your kind have a chip on their shoulder and a stick up their ass.”She held out her hand. “I’m Christine Llewellyn, call me Chris.” As he shook her hand, a jolt of familiarity went through him, he narrowed his eyes.

“Have we met before?”

“No, I don’t make a habit of hanging out with angels.”

“Because of the stick up their butt?”

“That and their tendency to consider dead humans as collateral damage.” Cas nodded.

“That sounds like the voice of experience.”

“Well you people made a bit of a mess when you fell to earth, some of us had to clean that up.”

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t intentional.”Cas said sadly, Chris frowned at him.

“Such regret blue eyes, there’s a story there.”

“Not one worth sharing.”

“yeah I have a few like that.”she raised her hand to the barkeeper “two bourbons, please.”

“Thank you.” Pensively, Cas swirled the amber liquid around his glass. He could feel Chris’ eyes on him again.

“you know what ever it is your scratching at, you should stop before you make it bleed.”

“Pardon?”

“Come on Castiel angel or not, something is clearly on your mind. I’m just saying sometimes if you leave things, they will heal up on their own.”

“You’re perceptive-.”

“I know for a human right? Its my curse.”she grinned at him.

“Thank you, but some things they don’t heal, they just fester.”Cas was surprised by the vehemence of his own tone. Chris squeezed his hand briefly.

“Only if you let them blue eyes.” she tossed her bourbon down her throat and stood up. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“Humour me?” Cas handed her his cell. She tapped it a couple of times and gave it back.

“What’s this?”

“My number, call me sometime.” she leaned down and kissed his cheek and turned to leave.

“Wait” Cas called “Do you need help with the ghoul?”

“Don’t worry choir boy, I got it covered.”

 

The night was darker than Chris had hoped it would be, the encounter with the broken angel in the bar meant she was hunting later than she would have liked. The wind had died and the full moon she had been relying on was hidden beneath a dark heavy blanket of cloud. Circumstances which did not make the cemetery look any-more appealing than it had by daylight. Half fallen Victorian memorials loomed out of the darkness as she crept forward. The sounds of a party, drifted on the still air causing her to swiftly crouch in the darker gloom of a table tomb. A few yards ahead a dim glow lit up the windows of a mausoleum, from the light that oozed down the steps she could tell the door was ajar. Inside someone turned the music up- Zeppelin, ‘good times, bad times’, well at least they had good taste in music if not in party venues. She smiled to her self and her machete hissed softly as she drew it from its sheath. 

A stealthy walk took her round the scattered tombstones and she wrenched open the door just as Paige started the guitar solo. There were three of them, where she had been expecting the solitary she had been tracking. All male, sat round what was left of a teenage boy. Judging by the smell he had there a while, nevertheless they were still eating him. Gobbets of his flesh hung from their fingers and his blood stained their clothes. Chris swung the blade at the nearest one neatly severing his head, but she had been lucky. The other two had got over their shock and were already on their feet, they both rushed her. With no room to swing the knife she gave ground and found her back pressed to the wall.

“What are you going to do now missy?”, the taller of the two hissed, edging closer. Too close the machete caught him midway down the ribcage and stuck there, he howled and dropped. Taking advantage of the distraction she ran for the door, she had another blade hidden out there. They were right behind, her gun was in its holster and useless at this point. By the time she had turned around and drawn they would be on her. The Table tomb suddenly appeared in front of her she vaulted it, landed badly and twisted her knee. She tried to get up, however standing wasn’t an option. They had lost her in the gloom, but Chris could hear them moving towards her. She wedged herself into a corner between two gravestones and tried to calm her breathing.

The injured one came first, shambling through the dark, cursing to himself. Chris waited for a clear shot, heart hammering against her ribs. He was nearly past her when he stopped and sniffed the air. She squeezed the trigger and the ghouls head exploded with a wet sound. Cautiously she pulled herself up right leaning on the cold granite of the tomb. “Where are you, you bastard?” she muttered to herself peering into the gloom. Nothing, not a sound. The last of the trio was no where to be seen, that didn’t mean he was gone. Chris forced herself to still her breathing and listened intensely. Was that a sound behind her? She darted forward, injured knee screaming at her- too late. He tackled her, arms wrapped around her midriff and dragged her to the ground. She punched wildly catching him on the cheek, her other hand scrabbling in the mud for her dropped gun.

“Oh I don’t think so missy” As her fingers closed on the gun, the ghoul grabbed her wrist and snapped it. Chris let out a low scream through gritted teeth and tried to head butt him. “oh the things I’m gonna do to you” his tongue flicked his lips.“I bet, you are going to taste sweet and cause you killed my brothers, We will have a little extra fun before I tear out that pretty little heart of yours hmmm?” He sunk his teeth into her shoulder. Chris struggled and managed to jam her knee into the ghouls crotch, she saw his eyes widen then he was wrenched away from her.

Disorientated she sat up, a few feet away the angel from the bar was holding the ghoul by the throat. She watched as he brought his hand down firmly on the struggling monsters head, there was a brief flash of white light and he dropped the now slightly smoking corpse to the ground. He walked towards her and she watched as the terrible blue light faded from his eyes. So that’s a smiting, some detached rational part of her brain whispered while the less rational part of her shrunk back against the cold stone.

“Are you alright?”

“yes, what are you doing here.” she pushed herself to her feet, aware that she was shaking. She had never seen an angel actually smite someone before, the rogue ones she had killed had never had the chance. That was the problem though, Chris was suddenly remembering just how many angels she had dispatched. She took a half step away and her knee gave way, she hit the floor hard and her breath hissed between her teeth in a silent scream. He was beside her in an instant.

“You’re hurt!” she felt his hand touch her shoulder and recoil at the warm sticky blood it found there. “You’re bleeding!”

“My god, Castiel! what are you angel of the bloody obvious!” Chris was feeling sick, must be the blood loss, she told herself.

“Let me heal you.” Castiel touched her forehead, but she slapped his hand away.

“Won’t work, doesn’t work on me.” She ignored the confused frown wrinkling his face, there would be time for explanations later. “just get me back to my motel, its the six on main.”

“At least let me try”

“No, please just get me back to the motel” he nodded and slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her to her feet easily.

“I should carry you” Castiel rumbled.

“NO, just help me walk.” I’m not some damsel in distress, she muttered in the privacy of her own mind. She ignored the traitorous thought that perhaps on this occasion she was in fact, practically dragon fodder. “my car is parked up the road, here” she dragged the keys out of her pocket and pressed them into the angels hand. “Its the black one” she muttered as her vision blurred and darkness rose up.

 

Her head pounding, Chris surfaced from a formless black sea. She was lying face down on something soft, her questing fingers felt the roughness of cheap motel sheets. Some one was gently and carefully wiping her back with a cold wet cloth. She froze, “who’s there?”

“It’s me, Castiel” the wiping stopped, she heard him wring out the cloth before resuming.”Stay still, I’ve nearly finished cleaning your wound. I’ve strapped up your wrist as well, it’s sprained not broken”

“How does it look?” Chris tried to turn her head to see, only for Castiel to press his palm against the side of her face.

“Try not to move, it may start bleeding again. If you won’t let me heal you this will require stitches.” Chris heard the irritation in his voice

“I told you it won’t work. Can you stitch it?”

“You should go to the hospital.”

“That’s not what I asked, choir boy”

“Yes if you insist, I can stitch it”

“Sassy Cassie” Chris snorted, she was feeling light headed again. It faded after a moment, “there’s a first aid kit under the bed, for emergencies.” She heard the rustle as he retrieved the kit from its hiding place, heard the crinkle as he tore open a pack of needles and felt his hand warm and steady on her shoulder and his breath tickling her neck as he leaned down to examine the bite.

“I will try and be fast, but this will hurt”

“Just get on with it” Chris gritted her teeth and pushed her face into the sheet. There was a sharp jab, then another and another. Abruptly they stopped, Chris could still feel Cas’ breath on the back of her neck as he checked his work. “Are you done?”

“Yes” she felt him wipe away some blood from her new stitches and turned over. His face was only inches away, she stared into his eyes and felt it again-familiarity.

“How do I know you?” Castiel vocalised the thought for her, eyes crinkling as his gaze narrowed.

“you don’t ” it was an honest answer.

“you are familiar to me, even back in the bar…” He straightened up, an angel blade slipping from the sleeve of his trench coat. “who are you?” Chris squashed a flicker of fear as he pointed the blade at her.

“I told you, I’m a hunter. Thats all. Look at me you would know if I was lying” she held very still as he stared at her. The hand holding the blade wavered and Cas turned away. Chris relaxed as he placed the weapon on the bedside table.

“I’m, I’m sorry” Cas muttered, “If you knew what the last few years have been like” he shook his head.

“It’s not really been that great for everyone”

“I suppose that’s true.”He turned to look at her, an almost smile twitching his lip. “Is there anything else I should know about you?”

Chris shifted to the end of the bed letting her legs dangle off the end, as she considered the question. What do you want? She asked him silently, honesty something whispered to her. She moistened her lips, “I’ve killed a lot of angels Castiel.” he took a couple of steps forward and sat down beside her.

“So have I,” Castiel sighed, “Did the ones you killed deserve it?”

“Yes, they were hurting people.”

“At least you have that,” it was barely a whisper, Chris glanced at Cas’, the angels shoulders were slumped, his gaze directed at his hands clasped in his lap. Gingerly she laid a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her, there were tears in his eyes.

“What happened to you Castiel?” he didn’t answer her and started to get up, angrily dashing the tears from his face. Chris grabbed the lapel of his trenchcoat and pulled him back down. “It’s okay” he looked at her again, “you’re okay” she reached out and brushed an errant tear from his cheek, then slipped her arms around him. There was a moments resistance and then he slumped against her, face buried in her good shoulder. Chris stroked his hair lightly and tried to untangle the mess of feelings in her head. What is going on here? What the hell is this? she couldn’t find an answer and when he pulled away and mumbled an apology she kissed him very gently on the fore head.

Cas kissed her back hard on the lips, he stopped.

“I’m sorry that was inappropriate” he stood up and walked away, “you should rest, I’ll go and get food” the door banged behind him.

The next time she woke up it was even harder to emerge from the darkness, someone was shaking her and calling her name. She opened her eyes to Castiel’s worried face, “You again.” she pushed him away and sat up, trying to still the trembling in her limbs.

“I couldn’t wake you, are you alright?”

“Yes, I feel dizzy is all”

“You should eat, here” he passed her a greasy package. “I’m sorry, its burgers. Only place open, but I used to quite like them when I was human.”

“You were human?” Chris wasn’t entirely sure she had heard that right.

“Yes for a while”

“How did that happen?”

“its a long not very pleasant story.”

“You could tell me while I eat.” she unwrapped the burger and waited, the idea of telling her what ever had happened seemed to make Castiel uncomfortable. he fidgeted with his trench coat and rubbed his neck.

“ Uh, why do you want to know?”

“Because I think you want to tell someone.”

“okay fine, but you eat, deal?”

“Deal”

The burgers were finished long before Cas’ reached the end of his story . He sat cross legged on the floor as he spoke and he didn’t look at her at all until he had told it all. Now those blue eyes were pleading with her for something. A little awkwardly because of her bad knee she slipped off the bed on to the floor.

“it wasn’t your fault choir boy, not all of it.”

“It doesn’t feel like that, I killed so many.” he held out his hands as if he could still see the blood. Chris covered his hands with hers.

“Cas, you’re not the only person to make a bad decision to save the ones you love.”

“what did you do?”

“I made the right decision and my family died, your family are still here. I’d call that a win,” she pushed away the old pain and smiled at him. He seemed to be thinking hard, brow furrowed as he considered her words.

“Earlier, when I kissed you” he licked his lips, skin flaring red. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I’m not, we all need love Cas, even angels.”

“Maybe we don’t all deserve it”

“I think you do.”

“you don’t even know me, not really.” Chris let go of his hand and instead ran her fingers around the stubbly line of his jaw, there was that sensation again, recognition.

“Choir boy,I’m starting to wonder about that” Chris kissed him, this time he pulled her against him with no hesitation. His lips sort hers hungrily, urgent hands sliding up her back like someone touch starved. The scream seemed to come from everywhere at once, Chris froze.

“What’s wrong?” Cas touched her face.

“Didn’t you hear that?” it came again, leaving her ears ringing.

“Hear what?” Cas looked confused.

“The scream, you must of heard it” Chris looked round blinking her vision was starting to blur and darken, irresistible tiredness poured over her like a wave. She had one last glimpse of Cas staring at her in horror before, she was somewhere else, some place bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?

Dean knew he was dreaming, that of course made it worse. He winced as Alastair punched him in the jaw and tried to concentrate on the screaming around him. Better that than to focus on the mind destroying pain he knew (remembered?) was coming next. He’d never been able to wake himself from this dream, he would just surface in the morning covered in sweat and once he had shredded his sheets. It was like part of him was still there, in the pit. He redoubled his concentration as he prepared for the sensation of his skin being torn from his body, swearing that this time he would not cry out. The blow never came, instead a white heat enveloped his left arm and he felt himself rising faster and faster. He looked up “Cas!”

“Yes it’s me Dean”

“What are you doing in my bedroom? And where the hell have you been!” he demanded realising he was awake.

“I need your help now, get Sam”

“Cas, what the hell is going on”

“Just get Sam, meet me in the war room”

Five minutes later with a bleary eyed Sam in tow, Dean found Cas stood by the map table in the war room . The table it’s self was covered by a human form shrouded in a blanket.

“What the hell is this!”

“Is that a corpse?” Sam asked.

Cas shook his head and turned back the blanket “No, not yet anyway, This is Chris, she’s a friend.”

“A friend? Really Cas? you’ve never mentioned her before” Dean took a step back as Cas’ face curled into a snarl.

“She’s a new friend Dean and she is hurt”

“and you brought her here?, why not just heal her up and send her home!”

“I tried that as soon as I couldn’t wake her up!”

“So what you are just bringing home strays now?” Dean tried to suppress his rising anger, everything pissed him off these days, especially anything to do with Cas. He glared at the angel, Sam stepped in between them hands held up.

“Guys can we do this later, Cas what happened to her?.”

“I met her in a bar in Ebson, she was going after a ghoul. I was worried so I followed her.”

“You were in a bar? What were you doing?” Dean suppressed a surge of irrational annoyance.

“what do you think I was doing? I was having a beer, Dean” Cas snapped.

“You already tried to heal her?” Sam cut in before the conversation turned into another fight. Dean resisted the urge to make a snarky remark and collapsed in to a chair. Sam’s constant peace making was starting to get irritating.

“yes, but it wouldn’t work.”Cas brushed a dark curl from Chris’ forehead,“she told me it wouldn’t, I didn’t believe her”

“Did she say why?” Sam hitched him self up on the edge of the table.

“Uh, No” Cas sat Chris up and gently drew back her shirt exposing the wound. The neat line of stitches had held, but the flesh of Chris’ shoulder was blackened and bruised. The bite it self was a wet angry red. “Its just a ghoul bite, I should be able to heal it”

“well we all have performance issues from time to time” Dean muttered, earning himself a glare from Sam, Cas didn’t even look at him. Sam peered closely at the bite face wrinkled in thought.

“Unless it’s not a ghoul bite”

“They were ghouls Sam, I killed the last one myself”

“The last one?, How many were there?”

“Three she killed the first two before I got there. I was too late to stop her being bitten.”Cas laid the hunter back down carefully, he shrugged off his trench coat and folded it under her head.

Dean looked at the still form of the hunter, with grudging respect, “She took out two ghouls on her own?”

“Yes, I should have got there sooner.” Cas took Chris’ hand, that simple action stirred up a tangled mess of feelings for Dean. He was angry, yes, but seeing Cas clearly so upset made him realise he was being a jerk. He stood up and patted Cas awkwardly on the back.

“I’m sorry man, do me a favour? Call us if something like this happens again”

“Okay” Dean pretended not to hear Sam’s sigh of relief as peace was restored.

“I’m going to hit the books, I’m sure I have read about this somewhere” Sam slipped off the table and smiled at Cas. “We will find out what this”

“it doesn’t matter what it is Sam, I should be able to heal her,” Dean heard the frustrated tone in Cas voice. 

“It’s not you Cas, it’s just something new.” Sam was trying to be reassuring, but Dean didn’t buy it, judging from his expression neither did Cas. Sam headed up the steps to the library, Dean smiled to himself, that was Sammie, always the one with a plan.

Dean turned his attention to Chris, he pulled her shirt down and stared at the bite and the bruised skin. Experimentally he touched the red angry thing, a tiny amount of pus slipped out. “Gross” he glanced up at Cas meeting his eyes directly for the first time in a long while. “this needs cleaning again, looks infected.” Dean wandered over to a cupboard and extracted a first aid kit. “you want me to do it?”

“I’ll do it” Cas growled. Dean shrugged and handed him the kit before sitting back down. Dean watched his friend as he gently dabbed anti-septic on the bruised skin.“I don’t think a bandage is going to solve this, Dean.”

“Maybe not.” Dean looked at the girl. She was breathing evenly if shallowly, a faint line of sweat hung above her top lip. “She is very hot” he mused when the silence had gone on too long.

“I hadn’t noticed.” Cas mumbled, but Dean saw the glance the angel directed at his charge before staring down at his feet.

“So did you do it,” Afterwards Dean was never sure why he asked that particular question.

“Do what?” Cas didn’t look up, preoccupied with positioning a pad over the bite mark.

“you know, it. Did you take her to heaven Cas?” Dean couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at his own bad joke.

“Dean! She was injured” Cas frowned at him, disapprovingly. Dean grinned even wider, he missed teasing Cas.

“Yeah but c’mon man, you had just rescued her, she’s hot and grateful and your kind of handsome” Dean leaned forward, he was enjoying this and Cas had that ‘rabbit caught in the headlights’ look about him. “You are seriously telling me that you spent 24 hours together and nothing happened?”

“No, I did not take advantage of the situation” Cas snapped, something was off though. Castiel was many things and a terrible liar was one of them.

“Cas?” Dean prodded, all trace of humour gone from his voice.

“I kissed her,”Cas admitted, Dean fought hard to keep his expression neutral as his heart sank, but Cas wasn’t looking at him; he was looking at her, his fingers resting lightly against her cheek.

“So you like her”

“Yes, I like her”

“Okay well then that’s great” Dean jumped out of his chair, he couldn’t handle the way he was starting to feel right now. “Put her in Jack’s room, she can’t stay on the table. I’m going to check in with Sammy and I need a drink.”

“Dean-”

“I’ll check in with you later Cas, Just go and get sleeping beauty settled”

 

Back in the library, Sam was already leafing through a pile of books. He stopped when Dean placed a beer in front of him, “dude its 11:30, in the morning.” Dean shrugged and sat opposite him.

“maybe, but I have been up since four, so in my world it’s six pm.“ He took a swig and sighed.

“So what the hell is wrong with Cas?, because he is acting weird, even for him.” Sam for once not beating around the bush. Dean rubbed his face and leaned forward.

“Honestly Sam I don’t know.” Sam pulled his ‘oh yes you do face’, but didn’t push it.

“He seems really attached to this girl, could it be a love spell?”

“I don’t think so, he told me he actually likes her.” Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“That really doesn’t sound like Cas. He has been through the mill, what are we dealing with here? Some kind of angel PTSD?”

“Possibly, it’s Cas who knows what kind of repressed bullshit goes on inside that nerdy little angel brain of his.” Dean cracked open another bottle from the six pack on the table, “Maybe he just needs to get laid” he grinned at Sam.

“Dean!” Despite everything Sam laughed.

“I know Sammy, I’m not taking things seriously enough for you, but the whole things damned weird. I think he’s piling all his crap into saving this girl, like that will make things right or something.”

“But what if she dies, what’s that going to do to him?”

Dean looked grim, “I don’t know Sam and I would rather not find out. Which is why we better find a cure for sleeping beauty.” Sam nodded and returned to reading, Dean watched his brother frown over the text and tried to sort his own feelings out. I’m jealous, he could admit that in the privacy of his own head. Jealous and angry, though the anger was more at his own stupidity than anything else. Because he had got Cas back and things had just gone on as normal for weeks. Until the day Cas had walked into the kitchen and told Dean exactly what he wanted. How had Dean reacted? He had frozen, said nothing and now all he saw when he closed his eyes was Cas staring at him with the tears of rejection shining in his eyes. “I’m an idiot” he muttered out loud.

“No argument from me,” Sam grinned at him “But get this, I think I found an answer.”

“An answer to what?, why Cas is pining like a teenage girl or why we can’t wake up wonder woman.”

“Dean!” Sam glared at him again, Dean shrugged. “i think she was bitten by a Jorogumo the Asian spider demon, according to the lore they are a hybrid of Djinn and ghouls. They infect victims through biting them and keep them in a dream state..until they decide to eat them.”Sam hesitated, glancing at his brother.

“Okay so how do we wake her up”

“According to this we don’t, there’s no cure. The victims rescued just wither away and die .”

“Then we had better find one.”

An hour or so later Dean shut his laptop with an angry snap “African dream root won’t work, apparently Jorogumo are immune.” He leaned back in his chair rubbing his eyes. “I could do with a nap, I had weird dreams last night. Could have sworn Cas was there.”

“Do I really want to know about this dream Dean?” Sam grinned at his brother. “It sounds kinda personal.”

“Oh you are never letting that Destiel thing go are you.”

“Not this side of the end of time, so tell me what was he wearing?”

Dean picked up the nearest book and threw it at his brother, “bitch.”

“jerk!”Sam ducked under the desk and came back up looking thoughtful. “Actually Dean, that gives me an idea.”

“What?, we throw books at her?”

“No, Cas can get into dreams. Why don’t we just send him into her head.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, his own head isn’t exactly stable right now. What if she dies he will have no one to blame but himself, at least if we do something..”

“He can blame us.” Sam sighed. “Look she’s going to die if we can’t find another way, dehydration or starvation.” he shut the book in front of him, and stood up. “We have to at least try.”

“Fine, we’ll ask him, but my two cents..bad idea.”

 

“Cas, you still in there?” Sam called softly, he knocked on the door to Jacks room again, louder this time. “Cas!” he glanced at his brother, Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe, he went to get a beer” Dean mused, trying to ignore the sudden dread bubbling in his belly. He banged loudly on the door “Cas, come on man!” Still no answer, “something ain’t right.” He tried the door handle. “It’s locked?” Sam asked, Dean nodded.

“I am not liking this one bit” he took a step back and drew his colt. A swift kick and the door burst inwards, splintering the lock. Dean stepped inside swinging his gun in a wide arc. He came to an abrupt halt, “Oh, Cas. What have you done.”

Sam crossed the room in quick strides, he checked Cas’ pulse. “He’s alive, as far as I can tell.”

“And the girl.”

“yeah, just. What’s this doing here” he stooped down and picked up the angel blade that was lying on the floor. He showed it to Dean who took it gingerly.

“No blood, and this is Cas’ blade.” Dean placed it on the bedside table, “No sign of a struggle and that” he pointed to the pair on the bed “is weird.”

“yeah” Sam agreed, “sure doesn’t look like a fight.”

“I know what it does look like, and its weird.” Dean sat down in the armchair and stared at his friend. “you don’t think he had the same idea as you? About getting in her head.”

“Maybe, would it knock him out like this though?”

“Who knows, he hasn’t exactly been firing on all thrusters since he got back.”

“would he do it without telling us?”

“Oh come on Sam, lets see would Cas go off and do something stupid without consulting us first? I think we both know the answer to that one.”

Sam had to agree with that, he sat on the other side of the bed took the girls free wrist and checked her pulse again. “What now?”

“We get him out I suppose, though how..”Dean sighed “And when we get him back we take his feathered ass to a shrink!”

“Like you have never done something stupid for a girl?”

“Shut up Sam”

“Okay, but I don’t know how to get him out. Maybe we should give it sometime, he may wake up on his own..perhaps this will work.”

“Right and it will all be puppies and candyfloss.” Dean stood up “Okay, we will give it some time Sammy, but if he’s not back by tonight. We find a way to drag his arse out of there.”

“Agreed”

“Good then you can watch them..because I can’t look at that. Its freaking me out”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him? 
> 
> this chapter Cas pov, Bi!dean, BI!cas, torture,pining, angst, some fluff, pissed off bitch face sam, canon divergent, Bi!female bamf oc and some seriously sexy snogging.

Cas had dragged an armchair across the room so he could sit comfortably, but he was anything but comfortable. Chris continued to sleep like the dead. Her hand which he was holding lightly was cold, her skin had a bluish tinge which worried him. Once he almost prayed, what was the point of that? God was gone. He remembered that talking was supposed to help when someone was in a coma. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get to you sooner” he told her. He lifted her hand and kissed the knuckles. “I’m not even sure what this thing is between us,” he slipped his blade from his pocket and flicked it absent-mindedly. “I suppose I should tell you, I’m in love with Dean. I’ve always been in love with him. Ever since I pulled him from the pit,” Cas stopped and took a breath to crush the ache in his chest. “But he doesn’t love me or maybe he’s scared of us. I don’t know.” He paused again weighing the angel blade in his hand. “Maybe some-things are just not meant to be, then you come along.” He glanced at Chris, a smile tugging at his lips, “and this feels like a second chance. I could love you, if you let me. Please wake up.”

“Castiel” it wasn’t even a whisper, no more than an exhaled breath. He dropped the blade and leaned over listening intently.. Almost he thought he had imagined it- “Cas, help me.”

“I don’t know how.”This was agony, not for the first time Cas wished he had punched Chuck in the face, how could He have let this happen? Cas hoped whatever dream she was trapped in was at least a happy one. “Dream” he muttered to himself an idea forming, he touched her cheek. He locked the door, took off his trench-coat and suit jacket placing them neatly on the armchair loosened his tie and crawled in to bed. He gathered Chris to him, “Okay I’m coming to get you” he lifted her face towards him softly kissed the cold lips, and tried to slip behind her eyes.

He couldn’t get in, Chris was warded not just against demons, but against angels too. He could sense the power, it was etched on to her bones, permeating her body on the quantum level. Cas could almost see her soul, but everytime he got close the contact was blocked. He pressed his grace closer, the warding feeding him back pain for his effort, he could feel her now, she was scared, no terrified. Cas called out to her with his mind, gritted his teeth and pushed himself closer. The sigils warding her were humming like angry bees, he began to worry that he would permanently hurt her. Then he spotted it. A tiny gap, where under the onslaught of his grace the warding was starting to break down. He focused in pushing harder, feeling the impediments fraying, falling away and poured himself through the gap; letting her darkness carry him away. He didn’t hear the knocking at the door.

Cas didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t this bright and airy room or the sound of people laughing. Chris was stood a few feet away, her back to him watching a young dark haired couple play with their children. She stood stock still, fists clenched. Cas could see she was trembling, he moved quietly and touched her shoulder. She flinched but didn’t turn round “Chris, it’s Castiel. I’ve come to get you out.”

“Go away choir boy, you are not real.” What could he say to that? He moved to face her, but she just stared through him.

“I assure you I am real.” He reached out and unclenched her hand wrapping her fingers around his. She looked him in the eye then.

“Is this hell?”she asked, Cas looked round the bright room in confusion.

“No hell is noisier and it smells bad.” he smiled nervously “Why do you think this is hell?”

“Watch” she replied bleakly. There was a noise like a rushing wind and the room filled with black smoke and the smell of sulphur- the children screamed shrilly. Cas swung round and saw the dark haired man, his eyes now black on black pick up a heavy poker from the grate and bring it down on his terrified wife’s head. “I should have been here, this is my fault.” Tears were streaming down her face. Cas took her by the shoulders.

“Don’t look at that, look at me” He shook her gently “look at me”, somewhere behind him a child’s sobs were abruptly cut off. “That’s it, just look at me” he whispered and wiped a tear from her cheek. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Cas, I was out hunting vampires, when I should have been here protecting them.” She started to turn back, Cas stopped her.

“No don’t look, none of this is real, but you have to want to leave. do you understand?” Chris nodded. “I can get you out of here, but you have to trust me”. Cas could feel the magic congealing around him, trying to lure him into the false reality. He saw a flash of his own hell, Deans bloodied face as he held an angel blade over his heart. He pushed the suggestion away forcefully.

“What do I do?”

“I need to possess you expel the poison, but your body is warded. It will be painful” Cas could feel her heart racing. “If you stay here you will die.” For a moment he thought she was going to refuse.

“What about you?, will it hurt you?” Cas considered lying, anything to drag them both out of this remembered hell.

“Yes it will hurt me, but I will not lose you.” not like I have already lost Dean, the thought froze him to the core.

“Cas, I don’t want you to hurt yourself over me, you don’t really know who I am, or the things I’ve done”

“Maybe that’s true, but I would like the chance to find out.” Cas’ throat was dry, “Please Chris.”

“okay choirboy, yes”

“Hold on to me, don’t let go.” Hesitantly she slipped her arms around him resting her head against his chest. Cas pulled away a little and looked down at her face, her eyes were tightly shut, he stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead softly. She responded by kissing him on the lips. “Time to go” Cas muttered and kissed her back fiercely.

It hurt, every one of Chris’ nerve endings screamed as Cas stripped the warding from her bones, from her flesh. Cas gritted his teeth against their shared agony and continued to burn his way out, if he stopped now they would both be trapped. He was dimly aware of Chris’ psyche clinging to him, her soul crying out with the pain of it. Abruptly the warding shattered and the pain vanished. Quickly Cas eradicated the ghoul’s poison, healing their vessel’s hurts with a thought.

“Is that your real face?” Cas realised he was stood on a green lawn, there was a large house in the distance, he recognised it from Chris’ childhood. He turned round slowly. Chris was stood a little way away, face turned to the sun.

“Yes, this is my true form, you should not be able to see it”

“I told you, I’m different,” she walked up to him smiling, “Thank you blue eyes, now get” she shoved him away, a psychic push that landed him back into his own body with a bump.

He opened his eyes to Sam looking at him with a concerned expression. “Cas you’re awake, thank god. Are you alright?”

”Yes I am awake and yes I am fine.”

“I’ll get Dean” Cas grabbed Sam’s arm.

“Wait.”He looked down at Chris, stroked her cheek. Her eyes opened slowly “Are you alright?” he asked her.

“You mean besides feeling like I’ve been in a blender, yeah I’m great Cas” she grinned.

Cas started to slide off the bed. “you should rest for a while.” Chris’ hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“Oh no, you don’t choirboy. You need to tell me exactly what just happened.”

“Chris, you really should rest and I should talk to Dean.”

“I’ve slept long enough, we talk about this now” She glanced up at Sam, her expression sharp, “ I’m sure Sam here can go and tell his brother you are fine.” Sam nodded.

“Sure, I’ll go tell Dean” Sam shrugged at Cas almost smiling at his confusion.

“And shut what’s left of the door”

“Yes ma’am” Once Sam had gone, Chris returned her attention to Cas, her face softened, saddened.

“Are you really alright?”

“No Cas I’m not.”

“I’m so sorry, if there had been another way-”

“Just don’t okay.” Cas went cold, he reached for her. she let him curl his arms around her, her head lying on his shoulder and her breath tickling his ear.

“I hurt you,” he felt her sigh.

“and yourself. You hurt yourself for me.” she pulled herself away a fraction ,“You do that too much, Cas”, Cas could feel her hand shaking as she caressed his jaw. He stared at her, unsure of how to react.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I remember, just like I remember being filled with leviathan.”

“you remember? I only possessed you for a few seconds you shouldn’t be able too” Cas shook his head.

“I remember a fish,” she was crying, she pressed her forehead to his, fingers gripping his shoulders tight. “and I remember Dean, I’m so sorry Cas.”

“You need to sleep” no argument from her this time, gently he laid her down and wiped her eyes. She smiled up at him, he kissed her. Intending for it to be a swift goodnight gesture, but the softness of those lips caught him off-guard and he allowed himself to kiss her harder. When he pulled away Chris moaned in disappointment and caught hold of his tie.“Are you sure?, you should rest”

“I’m not tired, what about you Cas? Do you want this?” She let go of his tie and slipped her hands under his shirt. Her fingers wandered down his spine, spreading fiery shivers down wards making him thirst for more. “Cas?” he wanted her badly, yet he held back. Confusion tangled his thoughts, he had wanted Dean this badly and that had not turned out well, what if this went wrong?, what if he lost her as well? He pulled himself away and sat on the edge of the bed breathing hard, as panic took hold of him, all these years and he still didn’t really have a grip on human emotion.

“Cas, what’s wrong” she sounded upset. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, not wanting to see the pain he had caused.

“I just need time to think about things, I have to sort my head out. I’ll be back, I promise” A hand on his shoulder followed by a butterfly kiss on his cheek.

“Okay choir boy.” He didn’t deserve the understanding in her voice. He left grabbing his trench coat and trying to crush the feeling that he was a coward.

Cas stalked through the corridors, he needed air and time to think, Sam called out to him as he swept past the kitchen.

“Cas slow down, what’s going on with you?” .

“Nothing is going on with me, I just need to think about some things.”

“I get that Cas, I really do, but you are acting weird. You just saved your friends life shouldn’t you at least be happy about it.” Cas made to push past Sam, who for his part blocked the way by simply spreading his arms across the corridor. “No Cas, you are going to talk to me. Dean is pretty pissed with you for risking yourself like that.”

“Yes I am” Dean said as he appeared behind his brother. “What’s going on fellas.”

“I was just trying to find out” Sam folded his arms and stared at Cas, Cas shook his head.

“Will both of you just leave me alone!” he snarled, pushed past both of them and stalked away. Dean looked at his brother eyebrow raised.

“what’s got his panties twisted?” Cas heard Sam mutter as he walked away, the comment infuriated him. He paused and turned back for a moment.

“My panties are just fine, Sam!” Not his best comeback, both brothers gaped at him. Dean was trying not to laugh, that hurt.

“I’m sure they are great Cas” Dean quipped, trying to diffuse the situation.

“I’m going out” Cas shot them both a vicious glare and disappeared round the corner.

“Woah, he is majorly pissed” Sam leaned against the wall.

“Well, nothing new there ” Dean rubbed his eyes, “Look you go see if our house guest needs anything, I’ll go talk to mean and moody.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him? 
> 
> . this chapter, Bi!dean, BI!cas, torture,pining, angst, some fluff, pissed off bitch face sam, canon divergent, Bi!female bamf oc. this chapter also contains arguing, violence (canon) and drinking, also *done* sam
> 
> *note this is not a reader insert.

Dean caught up with Cas on the stairs leading out of the bunker. “Going somewhere?”

“Beer run, I need a drink.”

“Well Amen to that brother, but I don’t think you have ever volunteered before.” Cas looked at him quizzically.

“Well I need a drink Dean.” A note of sarcasm there.

“Well I’ll come with you”

“I am capable of going to a liquor store on my own.”

“Really Cas? Because it seems to be every-time you’re on your own for five minutes you do something downright stupid.” Cas, rounded on his friend his expression furious. Dean took a step backwards.

“May I remind you that I existed for several billion years before your species pulled itself out of the mud! I am more than capable of making my own decisions, I do not need or require your supervision!”

“Okay, but right now you sound like a teenage girl who has been given a curfew, so c’mon Tailor Swift what is your problem.” Once Cas would have looked confused at that reference, now he clearly understood what it implied. Light flared in his eyes and his mouth became a thin hard line. Dean was suddenly reminded that his friend was in fact a powerful celestial being and currently not a very stable one. He backed off another step raising his hands. “look man, I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. You are clearly going through something, whatever it is I’m sure we can work it out.” No response, but the light faded from his eyes.

“I’m going to the store.” Cas muttered and stalked up the steps

“well screw you” Dean told him as the door slammed shut.

Dean found Sam in the kitchen, sat at the table with his laptop. He looked up as his brother walked in. “Jack called, he wants to stay at Jody’s for another week.” Dean nodded and poured himself a coffee and sat opposite his brother. “I think he has a crush on Alex” Sam added with a smile. Dean couldn’t blame the kid, being at home in the bunker was no picnic for any of them right now.

“Good I can only handle one moody feathered person at a time.”

“Speaking of where’s Cas?”

“He has gone to the Liquor store”

“What!”Sam was looking at him in disbelief.

“Yeah I told him he was acting like a teenage girl, thought he was going to smite me on the spot.”

“Even for you that wasn’t very tactful, Dean.”

“Well he is. Do you think that woman did something to him? We should have tested her, maybe she is some kind of monster” Dean realised Sam was staring at something behind him. 

“I’m not any kind of monster, Dean. I’m a hunter just like you.”

Dean turned round slowly and smiled “Well look who’s up.” She was slightly taller than he had thought and wiry. Her black hair was damp and hung down her back in thick curls.

“Is that my robe” he asked with annoyance.

“Yeah sorry, it was in the shower room. My clothes are kinda covered in ghoul blood. I was wondering if you boys could lend me some.”

“Sure, our Mom left some things here, sit down have a coffee. I’ll see what I can find for you in a bit.” Sam poured the coffee like a good little hostess, Dean sneered in his mind. Then checked himself, realising he was acting like a six year old. There was an awkward silence, Dean was unable to stop himself glaring at the interloper. She avoided his gaze by staring into the depths of her coffee cup.

“So, Tell us about yourself Chris. How did you get into hunting?” Sam asked a shade too brightly.

“My Dad was a hunter” She answered abruptly.

“Like us, family business then. where are you based?” Sam glanced at Dean “If you’re based anywhere.” He added sheepishly.

“I work out of New Orleans, but I grew up in England.”

“Really, you don’t have much of an accent.” At the mention of England, Dean stiffened and threw Sam a warning look.

“We left when I was ten sugar, so that’s hardly surprising is it.”

“Why did you leave?” Dean asked softly.

“My Dad was never good at taking orders, he upset some very powerful people. I think you can guess who, since we are sat in one of their bunkers.” She stared defiantly at the brothers, “so are you going to kill me ? I imagine there is still a very good price on my head.” She jumped when Dean let out a laugh, Sam was smiling at her as well.

“You don’t need to worry about those limy sons of bitches, we kicked their asses months ago.” Dean leaned across the table his face suddenly deadly serious, “So that said, what ever you did to Cas, you can undo it now.” Chris leaned forward and not breaking eye contact with Dean slid Cas’ angel blade out of her sleeve, she placed it on the table between them.

“If you kicked the men of letters asses, I’m grateful. But I did nothing to the choir boy, Why would I? He saved my life.” 

“You clearly did something to him, because this whole ‘love story’ thing is so much crap” Dean thumped the table.

“Dean come on, Cas has been acting odd for months, I don’t think we can pin this on Chris she only just got here.”

“Shut up Sammy! So what was it hmmm? Was it a love spell? Or did you just flash your cleavage at him!”

“Dean that’s enough!”Sam sounded appalled, his brother actually walked around the table and stood behind Chris, he even put a hand on the bitch’s shoulder.

“Why are you defending her!, you cast a spell on my brother too?”

“No” For a second Dean thought he saw a flash of gold in those dark eyes. She stood up hands braced against the table. “I have done nothing to your brother, I have done nothing to Cas. It wasn’t me that hurt him, was it Dean?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know,” Something in her tone made every muscle in Dean’s body suddenly go tight, she knows, he thought bleakly she knows about Cas and me. His blazing anger settled into cold fury and he glared back at her with utter loathing.

“Get out” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Dean” Sam probably, about to try making peace again.

“Sammy get her the hell out of the bunker-now”

“Dean no, you are acting crazy.”

“I said get her out of here before I snap her neck.” he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt rage like this, Chris was just standing there, un-intimidated and un-fazed. Worse still he was sure it was pity he could see in her eyes.

“Come on, I’ll sort you out some clothes.”Sam tugged at the bitch’s shoulder, desperate to get her away from him.

“It’s okay, Sam. He won’t hurt me.” She lingered a second after Sam went, fingers tapping at the table thoughtfully.

“You sure about that?”

“Pretty much, don’t blame me for your mistakes Dean.” Dean gaped at her, but he had no response the anger was congealing back into self loathing. “Thought so”, she muttered and swept out.

 

“Look do you want me to get you a motel room for the night.” Sam asked Chris as they walked to the garage, he was still feeling guilty and in all honesty a bit embaressed by Deans reaction.

“No its okay, I’m fine honey, I’d rather start driving.” Chris laughed as they entered the garage “This place really is like the Bat cave isn’t it.”

“Yeah we are very proud.”

“And I take it that’s the bat mobile.” she pointed to the Impala. That made Sam laugh, he opened the cars gleaming black door.

“Yeah don’t let Dean hear you calling her that, she’s called ‘baby’.”

“Really?”Chris smiled “That’s adorable.”

“I’m not sure ‘adorable’ is a term I’d use to describe Dean. It was our Dad’s car, keeps him close you know” Sam started the engine.

After a couple of minutes on the road he asked “So New Orleans is home?”

“At the moment.”She was looking out the window, “I have a house there, it belonged to my parents.” Sam heard sadness in her voice.

“umm, sorry if this is too personal, but is there anybody at home? You have been through a lot, might not be a good idea to be alone.”

“No, just me now.”She was still looking out the window, “My Dad died about five years ago, Cancer of all things. After all those years hunting it seemed hardly fair. My little sister and her family are also..”

“I’m so sorry, what happened?”

“The warding failed on their house and they were murdered, I wasn’t there.” She scrubbed her eyes, “sorry, its been years. You would think I could talk about it without crying.”

“No, that’s fine. Me and Dean we’ve lost people too.” Sam shook his head, vowing he would have a swift and to the point conversation with his brother about being a jerk. “Did you get the thing that did it?”

“The demon who did it, yeah. The thing who sent him, no.” She took a deep breath “can we talk about something else Sam?”

“yeah of course, anything”

“Ok, tell me something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, does Cas drive?”

“Yes he does.”

“So what are angels driving these days?”

“Ford pick up truck.”

“Well that is unexpected, you’d think he had a prius or something.”

A short time later Sam pulled the Impala over to the kerb, Chris looked at him in disbelief. “you’re kidding me right?”

“I wish I was but its true.” he shrugged. “He actually said it, just say the words ‘pizza man’ to him, that angel will blush like the sun rising.”Chris got out the car, Sam did likewise he couldn’t shake the guilty feeling, “are you sure you don’t want to stay here tonight at least. I’m sure Cas will be back soon.”

“Cas knows where to find me, if he wants to.” She looked a little sad.

“Look, I don’t get what this thing is with you and Cas and I know things are complicated-” He stopped, feeling torn between his brother and his best friend, “what I mean is, I had this friend and I always hoped we’d be more than that-but she died. I really wish I’d grabbed that opportunity.” Chris squeezed his hand and then pulled him into an unanticipated hug, Sam was starting to see what cas liked about this woman.

“I’m sorry that happened Sam.”

“you have my number?”

“Yes and Deans for what its worth. You have mine, just in case you are ever in Louisiana and you need a hand.”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry again about Dean.”

“It’s okay, don’t fuss yourself about it.” She walked to her car “Looks like my girl is okay” she patted the roof.

“This is your car?” Sam was surprised to say the least “nice” it’s paint was as glossy as Baby’s, but its lines were more compact.

“yeah 1969 triumph GT6, I may have an American accent now, but I was born British.” She opened the door. “Sam?”

“Yes”

“Thank you”

“Sure thing.”

“So long Sam”

 

Sam arrived back at the bunker close to midnight. Dean was still up sipping whiskey his feet up on the library table. “My Baby alright.” Sam threw the keys at him, Dean caught them and gave his brother a look.“What’s eating you.” Sam turned away, but he couldn’t leave it.

“You are a total jerk, you know that.”

“What?”

“You kicked Chris out of here for no good reason, she has no-one Dean.”

“Are you still hung up on that, she was dangerous Sammie.”

“How was she dangerous?”

“She’s stupid, she went after three ghouls on her own…and it turns out they were not even ghouls. That’s stupid and dangerous.”

“She made a mistake Dean, she told me.”

“It only takes one mistake and somebody winds up dead, she was lucky Cas was there.”

“Dean she has been hunting almost as long as us, she is not stupid. She is alone, her family is dead and I think she is hunting some kind of big bad on her own.” Dean stood up with a sigh.

“Why do you care so much, she is hot, I’ll give you that.”

“you are unbelievable, you know that.” There was a bang as the bunker door was slammed shut, a startled cry then another series of bangs. They ran through into the war room Castiel was just pulling himself off the floor. He looked at them blearily, a cut above his eye was bleeding profusely.

Dean sighed “Did you just fall down the stairs?” Cas narrowed his eyes.

“Obviously.”

“Drunk again?”Dean hauled him to his feet, “c’mon anyone would think you were developing a problem”

“Three times since the creation, is not a problem.”

“Three?”

“Siege of Troy, not important” Cas sank gratefully into a chair. “I think I hurt my knee.” he mused flexing it.

“Lets get some coffee into you” Dean said patting him on the shoulder.

“it would have to be several gallons” Cas pointed out with a lopsided grin.

“Okay so why the bender, Cas” Sam asked.

“I was just doing what you guys do.” Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

“yeah you’re going to have to be a bit more specific there buddy.” Dean sat down and poured himself another whisky.

“Well, when ever you two have an emotional problem, you get drunk and it helps you solve it.”

“That’s not-”Sam started, but Dean waved at him to be quiet.

“So did you solve it?”

“Yes, I did” he sounded proud of himself, “Now is Chris asleep?, because I need to talk to her.” the silence following that statement was deafening.

“She went home Cas, Sam drove her back to her car a few hours ago.”

“What, why?”

“She wanted to go home, to New Orleans,” Dean shrugged and smiled “cause that’s where she lives.” Cas pushed himself upright and leaned forward trapping Dean with a furious glare.

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Cas, I-”

“What did you do?”

“Cas, C’mon. I know she was hot, but this is an over reaction” he looked at his brother, “look Sammie thinks I’m right.” Up until that moment Sam had been convinced that Dean was sober, now he realised that the opposite was the case, He took a step forward.

“Guys maybe we should have this conversation tomorrow.”

“No Sam, me and Dean will talk about this now.” Cas growled at him. “Why did you send her away Dean.” Sam found himself praying his brother would show a modicum of sense and not further upset their utterly wasted angelic friend.

“Because she was annoying, if you are that desperate for some tail I’ll just get you a hooker.” Dean snarled back at Cas. Enraged the angel vaulted over the table and launched himself at Dean, they both hit the ground with an audible bang. Cas managed to punch Dean in the head twice before Sam dragged him off.

“Guys stop it, that’s enough” Cas shrugged out of Sam’s grip and barrelled towards Dean, who floored him with a round house kick. “Guys this is absurd, your fighting over a girl and one of you doesn’t even like her!” Cas was up again, Dean caught him on the forehead before Sam stepped in between them and caught the full force of Cas’ return punch. He fell to his knees both his brother and his friend looked at him in consternation.

“Sorry Sammie”

“Shut Up, Dean” Sam ordered, holding his right eye.

“Sam I am so sorry, let me heal that” Cas held up his hand.

“Don’t you dare, you are drunk, I don’t want to end up with an extra head.” Sam pushed the angel away and struggled to his feet. “You go to bed” he pointed at Dean, then turned on Cas “You as well go to sleep”

“But I don’t sleep.“

“I don’t care, go to your damn room and sober up.” Sam stumbled away, shaking his head in disbelief “you two are idiots.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Sam gives some advice, Cas tries a new form of transport and Dean gets quite annoyed. Also angst.

It was a sheepish Castiel who walked into the kitchen the next morning, he was well aware that he had acted like a fool and one look at Dean’s bruised face made him feel even worse.

“Dean, about last night.”

“Cas, I’d don’t want to talk about it” Dean took a sip of coffee and resumed reading the news on his tablet.

“Dean, we need to sort this out.”

“Like hell we do, She’s gone end of story.”

Cas stared at his friend in disbelief. Even with his shaky grasp of human interaction, he knew Dean was acting irrationally. He sat down unsure what to do “I’m sorry, for hitting you.” Dean sighed, put the tablet down and looked his friend in the eyes.

“No you’re not, not really. I can’t understand any of this. You spend what a day? with this girl, and suddenly you want her to play Leia to your Solo? Its totalled messed up.”

“But you hook up with girls all the time.”

“Yeah, but you don’t just like this girl do you.” Dean rubbed his eyes, “This is not a ‘hook up’ situation is it.”

“What is the difference” Cas was confused.

“you really need me to explain this to you?” Dean sounded incredulous.

“Explain what?” Sam asked as he walked in, his right eye was swollen and purple. He poured himself a coffee and leaned against the counter.

“Sam let me heal that for you.”

“No Cas, its fine. So explain what Dean?”

“The difference between a random roll in the hay and a serious relationship.”Sam raised an eyebrow, he was clearly resisting the urge to smile. “Unless you want to explain that Sammie?”

“No but I will happily sit here and watch you try to.”

“Well thanks little brother.”

“Look Cas when I hook up with a girl in a bar, its not because I want to marry her. Its because we both want to have a good time.”

“You mean intercourse.”

“Yes, intercourse. When you meet someone you really care about, you do things differently.”

“You don’t have intercourse?” Cas frowned, sometimes he thought Dean considered him a little slow. Well, two can play at that game, Cas thought to himself.

“No you do, its just you do things differently, understand.”

“Like a different position?” Cas managed to keep his voice dead pan, who the hell was Dean Winchester to lecture him on long term relationships?

“No Cas, Oh god”

“This is beautiful” Sam sniggered.

“Shut up Sam.” Dean sat up straight and took a deep breath, “When you meet someone you really care about, you will do anything for them. You will move heaven and earth to keep them safe, because the thought of losing them will make you feel sick to your stomach. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Cas muttered, Dean was looking at him intently. There was a message in his eyes, ‘this is us’ he seemed to be saying. But Cas wasn’t buying it any-more, what the hell was the point of keeping each other safe and waiting for some mythical ‘right time’ which may never arrive. He was tired of it, tired of pretending everything was fine and he cared about Chris. Thinking about her caused a new ache in his chest, a twin for the near constant pain Dean still caused him. Why couldn’t you just love me he asked silently.

“And you will do stupid ass things” Dean continued oblivious to Cas’ thoughts, his tone had turned bleak .

“Like what?”

“Like beat up your best friend over a girl.”

“Oh” Cas gnawed on his lip. “So you think I’m an idiot.”

“No Cas I didn’t say that” Dean rubbed his face tiredly. “Cas, you have to stay away from her. I know she means something to you” he paused and looked at Sam, “however the hell that happened, but we are toxic. Everyone we love gets hurt or winds up dead, Mom, Jess, Lisa, Charlie, Eileen, even angels what about Hannah?. If you really care about her let her go, because if you don’t you will lose her” Dean stood up and stretched with a groan, Cas didn’t move. “I only want what’s best for you buddy. Think about it, you know I’m right.” Dean clapped him on the shoulder, Cas didn’t trust himself to answer instead he just nodded mutely. “Right I’m going for a drive, I’ll see you fellas later.”

Cas sat very still for a while, trying to sort out his feelings. He was angry at dean, but a large part of him was telling him to ignore Dean, get in the car and drive to Louisiana immediately. Sam hadn’t moved either, he was watching Cas. The expression on his face was troubled.

“Are you alright.” Sam asked.

“What do you think.” Cas was surprised at his own anger, he got up slowly. He had neglected to repair his knee and it sent shooting pains up his leg. He welcomed the pain as a distraction.

“Cas wait, sit down please.” Sam stood up straight and folded his arms. Cas gave his friend a dark glare, but complied.

“Are you going to give me some more advice, because I don’t think I want it.”

“How well do you know Chris?” Sam’s question surprised him.

“ I know everything about her, I think” He found himself smiling as he said it.

“Ok, how do you know this?”

“Because I was in her head Sam and she told me. I had to use possession to wake her up.” Sam looked appalled at that, Cas remembered Sam had been possessed by Gadreel without his permission. “She called to me Sam, she asked me for help. I didn’t know what else to do.” Cas let out a bitter laugh “and now I can’t stop thinking about her.” Sam sighed.

“how do you feel right now.”

“I miss her,” Cas smiled to himself, “like I missed-” he didn’t utter the name, but Sam knew who he was talking about. Cas saw it in the way Sam’s eyes flicked to one side. For a moment he twisted Jimmy’s wedding ring round his finger, “The thought of never seeing her again, it makes me-” Cas took a ragged breath and gazed at Sam. “Did I ever tell you how sorry I was about Eileen, Sam.”

“No”

“Well I was sorry, she was amazing” Cas pretended not to see the tears rolling down Sam’s face.

“not many people knew, how did you?”

“I’m not as much as a ‘dumbass’ when it comes to feelings as Dean thinks. And I am sorry about your friend”

“Do you know what we talked about, when I drove her back to her car?” Sam asked changing the sub ject.

“No”

“You, she wanted to know all about you.” Sam held his hands up “She clearly likes you Cas. I say you should go for it.”

“But Dean said-”

“Deans wrong. I am not going to spend the rest of my life running in the opposite direction when ever I start to feel something for someone and neither should you. Even it doesn’t last-”

“better to have loved and lost, right?”

“Yeah exactly, do you want to spend the rest of your life waiting ?” Sam didn’t say waiting for who exactly, but he knew what Sam was referring too “you have her number, call her.” Cas reached for his cell, he hesitated.

“What about Dean?”

“I’ll take care of Dean, its what I do.”

 

The phone ringing roused Chris from a restless sleep, she had driven all night, into the early morning to get home and collapsed into her bed as soon as she arrived. She stared at the number bleary eyed-no caller ID. “Bloody hell” she muttered, tempted to ignore it. But it could be another hunter calling for help, she slide her finger over the screen. “This is Chris and if this is you Larry, find someone else I just got home.”

“Its not Larry..”

“Cas?”hearing his voice sent a jolt through her.

“Yes, it’s me” he sounded hesitant, unsure. “I wanted to check you got home”

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m sorry I didn’t say good bye. Dean-”

“I’m sorry about Dean, sometimes he’s an idiot.”There was a short silence, Chris heard Sam say: “Go on Cas ask her!”

“I need to speak to you in person..is that alright” Chris licked her lips her throat was suddenly very dry.

“Yes, do you want me to come to you?”

“No I’ll come to you, can you text me the address.”

“Sure”

“I’ll be there tonight, I promise.”

“Cas, it’s a thousand miles”

“One thousand and twenty-five, I will be there by tonight.” He repeated.

“I’ll see you later then.”

“Good bye Chris.” He cut the call and looked at Sam.

“I have to go.”

“I get that Cas, but that truck of yours won’t make it down to New Orleans tonight.”

“Then I won’t take the truck.”

 

Cas stood outside the large old fashioned clap-board house and wondered if he had the right address. It was out of the city near a small town called Tickfaw, he hadn’t seen another property for miles, the roads were bumpy and unmetalled with no street-lights. The house itself was well maintained, its paint fairly fresh and a traditional swing seat on the porch. Taking a deep breath he pulled the bell cord and waited for what seemed like a long time. The door opened with a click, Chris stood there; wearing jeans and a loose white shirt, she was also holding a shotgun pointed right at him.

“You made it then” She lowered the gun and put it on a table by the door. She took a step towards him.

“Yes, the motorcycle was considerably faster than I thought.”

“You came a thousand miles in one night, to see me.”

“One thousand and twenty five and yes for you.”

“This is a new look.” She gestured to his clothes, black leather bikers jacket, dark t-shirt, jeans and boots. He looked down at his feet to hide the very human blush crawling up his neck.

“Sam suggested it, he said it would go better with the bike.If you don’t like it I could change.” Cas couldn’t look at her, he was starting to feel helplessly confused. She lifted his chin and Cas saw the smile on her face.

“I like it.” Awkwardly Cas brought his hand from around his back revealing a bouquet of sweet smelling small white flowers nestled in dark green leaves.

“I got you these, Sam said I should give you roses, but I know these are your favourite.” he watched her anxiously as she breathed in the fragrance, “Like um, the ones in your mothers garden, they got a little crushed, sorry.”

“Real smooth, Cas.” she squeezed his hand. “Did Sam give you any other advice?”

“No, and I’m not sure what to do now.”

“We should start by going inside” she gripped his hand “come on blue eyes”.Chris led him through the hall into a large sitting room. “I’ll be back, I’ll just put these in some water.”

“Of course.” as soon as she was gone Cas pulled his phone from his pocket. ‘She liked the flowers, NOW WHAT DO I DO?’ He texted Sam.

Back in the bunker Sam read the text with an amused smile. “Have you seen Cas?, he’s been gone for hours” Dean asked him.

“No, he’s probably still pissed at you”

“Who are you texting?”

“Uh Jody.” Sam lied

“Did you borrow my black leather jacket, can’t seem to find it and I have a date.”

“No.” Sam looked innocently at his brother and pressed send on his phone.

‘KISS HER YOU IDIOT’


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Cas gets laid- explicitly, (consider yourselves warned) Dean may be a little annoyed by this..

Cas read the message and his throat went dry, this was it then. He could hear Chris humming to herself in the kitchen. He couldn’t wait, he followed the sound finding his way to a large room dominated by an old fashioned range and a scrubbed oak table. Chris was standing by the sink rinsing out a vase, Cas loitered by the door frame and watched her. She had tied her thick wavy hair into a messy bun, his fingers itched to pull out the ribbon and watch it fall down her back.

“I know your there, Choirboy” she said, without turning round.

“I was just uh..”

Chris glanced over her shoulder a smile tugging at her lips “Just what?”

“Admiring the view”

“Oh I see and do you like it.” Cas felt his cheeks grow hot, Chris didn’t seem to notice. She turned her attention back to the sink, picking up the bouquet of jasmine and snipping the ends of the stems efficiently.

“You’re beautiful”

“Right answer.”

Cas moved quickly and laid his hands on her hips. He nuzzled her neck, letting his tongue briefly linger against her skin. He felt her shiver and smiled as she stretched her neck back for more. “Were you teasing me?” he whispered, sliding a hand under her shirt and cupping a breast; liking the way she huffed out a little sigh of pleasure and pushed her buttocks against his crotch.

“Maybe a little.” she admitted sounding distinctly un-apologetic and pushed back harder against him. It was Cas’ turn to groan, he nipped her earlobe and teased a nipple with his thumb.

“Would you like me to tease you?” His other hand plunged downwards, his fingers felt the smoothness of her panties.

“Cas, please-” Her voice was breathy with need, Cas slipped his fingers under the already damp fabric, sliding over her clit making her buck against him. Cas was hard, his body aching in deep pleasurable anticipation. He pushed a finger inside her, she was warm and wet, he made a desperate noise. Chris turned to face him, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. “where did you learn that Choirboy?”

Cas smiled at her, “would you believe, the pizzaman?”

“Okay and what else did he teach you-” Cas cut her off with a kiss, he gripped her buttocks and lifted her up. Chris wrapped her legs round his waist and danced her tongue over his neck. He carried her to the table and sat her on the edge. She pushed the leather jacket from his shoulders and tugged the t-shirt over his head.

“Chris” her name was a pleasure laden sigh. Cas wanted all of her, he wanted to feel her skin against his. He pulled her shirt apart, the buttons clattered on the floor, he pushed her down and climbed on the table. He kissed the base of her throat and worked his way down slowly, every shiver of pleasure from her salty skin sending lightening bolts to his groin making his cock jerk in his jeans. Her hands caught his belt and freed him, he gloried for a moment in the warmth of her hand, but slipped her grasp and his tongue continued its dance down her body. He gripped the waist band of her jeans, while his tongue teased her belly button. She looked down at him eyes pleading for something. He pulled her jeans down in a smooth motion and sank his head between her legs. Chris made a soft cry as he sank his tongue inside her, her knees rose and she spread herself wide. Her hand gripped his hair urging him on, but he stopped. He stood up and grabbed her hips pulling her towards him. Gently he pushed the tip of his cock into her while rubbing her clit gently with his thumb, she moaned as he slipped inside and pulled out slowly. Savouring the feel of her as she quivered at each stroke, the ache in his groin building as she started to pull him in. Chris sat up, pulling his head down for a hungry kiss wrapping her arms and legs round him tightly.

“Cas.” his name, whispered over and over in his ear as she drove herself against him urgently. Cas tried to hold on to some kind of control, but he was already coming. She cried out and rode his thrusts, and held him tight as he screamed his release into her bruised mouth.

 

He came back to himself slowly, Chris was curled tightly against his chest his name escaped her lips it sounded like a half sob. He stroked her hair.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked anxiously, she looked up at him and smiled.

“No, I’m definitely not hurt Cas.” She cradled his cheek and kissed him.

“Maybe we should uh, move out of the kitchen?” he tilted her face towards him and very carefully kissed her.

“That would probably be a good idea.”

“Some where more comfortable?” He kissed her throat and felt her shiver.

“And why is that, Choirboy?”

“There’s some things I would like to try” he scooped her up “Bedroom?”

“Too far,” she wriggled against him delicously, “lounge, second door in the hall”

“Alright then”.

“SammY!” Dean shouted and pounded on his brothers bedroom door. “Sam get out here!”

Sam opened the door yawning and scratching his head.

“What the hell Dean, what time is it?”

“About seven not that it matters.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”Dean bellowed, “What’s wrong is that our unstable best friend has vanished, his truck is still parked outside and I have just realised that Dorothy’s motorcycle is missing.”I’ve called him a bunch of times, he’s not picking up”

“And you” he jabbed Sam in the chest with his index finger, “are unusually calm.”

“Dean chill out, its fine.”

“What do you mean its ‘fine.’” Deans eyes narrowed. “What do you know that I don’t?”

“Nothing, maybe Cas just took the bike for a spin.”

“Ok, maybe he did.” Dean pretended to calm down, then shoved past his brother and grabbed Sam’s Cellphone from his bedside table. “Lets have a little look here shall we.”

“Dean give me my phone back.”

“I know when you are lying to me Sam.” Dean flicked through Sam’s phone “Oh what have we here, text from Cas ‘She liked the flowers, NOW WHAT DO I DO?’ and you replied ‘KISS HER YOU IDIOT’, care to explain Sam. I could take a wild guess, but I would rather hear it from you.”

“He’s in New Orleans, with Chris. We talked, I told him to go for it.”

“You are a total asshole, both of you. I’m calling him.”

“Dean don’t”

“Shut up Sam”

Cas was lying in bed watching dust dance in the sunlight. Chris was curled up asleep next to him her hand resting on his chest. Occasionally he felt drawn to look at her and when he did a wave of something new overwhelmed him and he had to smile. So was this love then? He’d thought he knew, but this was different from love of god or family or friends. He looked at her again and felt his smile get wider. His phone rang and she stirred opening her eyes.

“Hey what you smiling at blue eyes?”

“Nothing, just the miracle that is you.” He kissed her, but the phone continued to ring.

“You better answer that.” Cas sighed and picked up his phone.

“It’s Sam.”he shrugged at Chris.

“He probably wants to know how his advice worked out.”She said with a smile. Cas grinned back and answered the phone.

“Good Morning Sam”

“Don’t you good morning me you feathered son of a bitch!”

“Ah hello, Dean.”

“What the hell have you been doing?”

“I don’t think you really want me so answer that question do you.”

“Oh God Cas. Does anything I say make it into that thick head of yours?”

“It’s my life Dean.”

“And her’s, Cas I knew you were a lot of things, but I never had you down as selfish.”That stung, Cas flushed with rage.

“How dare you say that to me, after everything I’ve done, Everything I have given up for you and Sam. All the times I have helped you. I have never asked you for anything, and now you have the gall to tell me I can’t have this one thing! How much more of me do you want!”

“Cas, give me the phone.” Chris said quietly, prying it out of his fingers, and walking away.

“That is enough Dean.”

“oh it’s you, put Cas back on.”

“Why, so you two can hurt each other some more?” That shut him up, “I am not going to pretend to know what is going on with you two, but I know Cas loves you and Sam. So take a chill pill and back off Dean.”

“Well thank you very much counsellor Troi-Why don’t you-.” Chris cut the call off then and looked at Cas. He was hunched up hands covering his face, a naked shivering ball of pain. Her heart dropped, tears started from her eyes.

“pauper cornua fracta angeli.” she muttered to herself. She walked back to Cas placed the phone on the bed and kneeled down in front of him. “Cas, look at me” She pulled his hands away from his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Don’t cry, blue eyes. Everything is alright”

“I don’t think it is.” He scrubbed his face.“Dean is right, I’m going to get you killed or worse. Every thing I have ever cared about I have watched die or has become so twisted I can barely recognise it. The worst of it is, a lot of the time I was the one that twisted it.” 

“Cas, I know the things you did, you did them for the right reasons.”

“I’m not so sure it was worth it. Heaven is soiled, Lucifer is loose on the earth, Dean and Sam are so broken, you don’t know the things I have done” he trailed off. Chris took his face in her hands, and kissed him.

“Apocalypse, Leviathon, God and his bloody sister, all the deaths, the angels falling, everything I know all of it Cas. Every detail, I don’t care and I’m still here.”

“I wasn’t sure if you would remember anything.”

“I don’t know if I remember everything, it took a while to come back. But I know you blue eyes, better than I know my closest kin” She stroked his cheek, he half smiled at that. She hugged him fiercely while he wept into her hair, her own tears trickling on to his skin. “I’m so sorry you had to do those things, I’m so sorry. It’s ok now.” After a while Cas pulled away, though he kept his hands firmly on her hips.

“Can you see my wings”

“Yes” she dropped her gaze. “I can see they are broken, they hurt you don’t they?” Cas unfurled his wings gingerly, their tips brushed the ceiling even in this large room. Chris bit her lip they were still faintly outlined in silvery blue, but almost skeletal. The feathers mostly gone, the remaining ones were blackened and baked. She stroked a ravaged flight feather, he flinched and refolded his wings.

“How can you touch them”

“Told you, superpowers.”

“I remember.”

“And they hurt?”

“Yes, like having permanently broken limbs.”His voice broke a little.

“Do Dean and Sam know?, about the pain?” It was Cas’ turn to look away .

“Its no worse than any other angel and no, I never told them. They had enough to worry about.”

“Castiel, you are a hot mess.”

“But I am hot” He smiled, pleased at his joke.

“What am I going to do with you.”

“I can think of one thing” He kissed her and lifted her on to his knee. Cas’ cellphone started ringing. He stared at it for a moment and answered.

“Hey Cas it’s Dean I want to apologise-”

“Not now Dean”

Back in the bunker all Dean heard was a thump as Cas dropped the phone, “Cas!” Dean shouted. Sam stood opposite him he looked at his brother with a frown.

“Dean what’s wrong”

“He just said ‘not now’ and dropped the phone.”

“Do you think he’s in trouble?”

“Maybe”

“put it on speaker we might hear something, tell us what’s going on” Dean nodded and tapped the screen. They listened intently,

“What was that, sounded like a groan.” They both listened for another few seconds, until realisation hit. “Are they are having sex?” He looked at Sam, who’s mouth was hanging open.

“that’s good” A voice unmistakably Castiel’s called out accompanied by a soft female moan.

“Sam turn it off.” Sam fumbled the phone.”

“That was weird”

“Sam, weird doesn’t even cover this”

“Right come on, we are paying the happy couple a visit.” Dean threw his coat over his shoulder and picked up his gun.

“Dean are you serious”

“Deadly, I have a bad feeling about this. Now I hope I’m wrong, I want it to be all unicorns and glitter, but when have any of us..Cas included got that lucky. Are you coming or not?.”

Sam nodded.

“Fine, but only because I like Chris, and someone has to keep you from making a total idiot of yourself.”

“Whatever Sammie, Now get your stuff.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Cas meets the family, Chris makes a discovery-quite fluffy

The streets of New Orleans were hot and crowded with tourists. Chris threaded her way through the chattering masses with all the self importance of a local, Cas gripped her hand tightly. Humanity en-masse had always disconcerted him. She pulled him off the side walk and into a side street populated by book and antique shops. “Are you okay?”

“I find crowds difficult.” He admitted “Why did we have to come here?”

“I need to see an old friend, it won’t take long.” She touched his face and he kissed her. The beautiful mundanity of it struck him, this was normal life.

“Can’t we just go home.” He asked raising his eyebrows suggestively. She laughed and shook her head.

“No, Come on this way.” they walked a little way down the street, to a Hoodoo shop that looked like all the other hoodoo shops in the city, a tacky plastic Baron Samedi hung in the window amongst other tourist tat, but a hunter sign was scratched into a corner of the glass. Cas sensed that the place was warded. Chris pushed the door open somewhere a bell rung. Inside the shop was less tacky, herbs hung from the ceiling and a number of scattered tables contained the usual arrays of chicken feet and other Hoodoo wares. Chris headed to the back of the shop “Aunty are you here?”

“Of course I’m here, child” A very old woman appeared from a shadowy doorway by the counter. She wore a bright orange and white head-cloth and matching dress, her dark skin was deeply lined. Her bright eyes scrutinised Chris for a moment and flicked over Castiel, she grunted. “What has happened to you child and why have you brought a fly boy into my home?.” Her voice was smooth and heavy with a southern accent.

“Aunty Asasa, this is Castiel he is my friend.” Chris held out her hand Cas took it and stood next to her.

“More than your friend I think.” Asasa snorted. Cas swallowed hard and stared at his feet. The old woman laughed “Well now just when I think I have seen everything, a blushing angel.”She turned away, “Chris a word with you please, in the back”

“Okay” Cas made to follow them.

“Not you flyboy, stay there and don’t touch anything.”

“Shut the door, Chris”

 

“Are you out of your mind girl?” Asasa demanded as soon as the door clicked shut. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is taking up with an angel-especially that angel?”Chris took a step back, her aunts rages were formidable. “And where are his friends? Those Winchester boys, they are never far away.” Chris didn’t bother asking Asasa how she knew about Sam and Dean, her aunt had always seemed to know everything about everything.

“They are in Kansas, Aunty.”

“Well I damn well hope they stay there.” Asasa paced the floor angrily. “Christine you are my only kin in this world, please give him up. Angel and a human that’s a story as never ends well and of all the host of heaven you choose Castiel. Death follows him around like a shadow.”

“Don’t say that.”

“You know its true.” Asasa paused. She hugged Chris “Child, I know you love him and I’m sure he thinks he loves you. But this is going to bring you nothing but pain.”

“He doesn’t just think it Aunty” Chris growled.

“We’ll see.” Asasa said it blithely, as if nothing but time were needed to prove her right.

“I came to you for help, not a lecture.” Chris wiped a bitter tear from her cheek.

“What is it you want?”

“Castiel, his wings are broken. He is in agony, can you help him?”Chris replied tersely.

“Only God can restore an angels wings, baby girl.”

“Then I will be going, thank you aunty.”

“Wait, I may be able to help with the pain. I’m not promising.”

They walked back into the shop, Cas was fiddling with a display of hex bags he was holding one up and examining it. “I should put that down if I was you Castiel, or you won’t be able to to get it up for the next six months” He dropped it with alacrity and rubbed his fingers on his shirt, when he turned round he was frowning, the frown deepened into a scowl when he saw Chris.

“Why are you upset?” she was in his arms in two quick strides. “What did you say to her?” He demanded, his eyes flickered with light and he raised his hand.

“Nothing but the truth.”

“Cas I’m alright” Chris told him and pushed his hand down.

“Cool your jets Castiel, I may not seem like much, but I am a lot older and tougher than I look.”

“This woman is a witch, Chris.”

“Yes I know, she is also my aunty, sort of. She’s a very old friend of my family.”Cas stood stock still as Asasa swept him over with a critical gaze.

“Mmmm a seraph, well I can’t blame you child. he’s a beauty. If I were a few centuries younger I doubt I would have said no either.”

“This conversation is making me deeply uncomfortable” Cas interjected.

“Hush now, show me your wings lover boy”

“Why? And how can you see my wings?”

“I told you she’s family, its okay she won’t hurt you”. Chris reassured him.

“I may be able to do something for the pain and I can see they are hurting you.” Cas looked round the crampt shop dubiously.

“There is not enough room in here.”

“You only need to unfurl them a little, let me see the damage. There’s no need to be embarrassed, you are not the first fallen angel I’ve seen honey.” Slowly Cas turned round and reluctantly half spread his wings. Asasa gasped “Oh my poor boy, these are bad. I’m going to touch them, try to bear it for a moment.”Cas sagged to his knees, suppressing a scream as she ran her fingers from shoulder to wing-tip. “And we are done, I’m sorry that hurt. Chris help him up”. Chris hauled him to his feet. He was breathing hard.

“You said she wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I’m sorry blue eyes, but I lied this one time.” Trembling, he leaned against her. Asasa was walking around the shop picking up things and dropping them into a ready made hex bag mumbling to herself in Swahili and Latin. “So can you help him?” Chris demanded. Her aunt held up a warning finger for interrupting and popped a few more bits into the bag.

“Fiat voluntas tua.” she said loudly, a flash of bright light followed briefly illuminating the bag. She wound a leather thong round the small thing and hung it around Castiel’s neck. “I cannot stop your pain, but I can reduce it. This is nothing more than a band-aid, your wings are an open wound, and like all open wounds the dressing will need to be changed periodically.” As she placed the thong round his neck Cas cried out “Better?” Asasa asked.

“Cas!” Chris reached for him concerned, He smiled broadly at her and laughed. “Are you alright?”He nodded.

“I’m fine, I can barely feel it. Thank you Asasa.”

“That’s Aunty Asasa to you, boy. I’ll write the spell down for you, shouldn’t be more than a moment.”

“You really feel better?”Chris looked anxious. Cas didn’t answer her, he just pulled her close and brought his mouth down on hers.

“Hey that’s enough you two.” Asasa reappeared and handed Cas a piece of paper. She looked at them sadly. “I can’t say I’m happy about this. You look after her Castiel, she is all I have.”

“I promise you-”

“Don’t” she snapped in a warning tone. “Just go home.”

“One more thing aunty, I have a question”

“What is it now child?”

“I got hurt, when I was up north. I nearly died.”

“Was it his fault!” Asasa rounded on Cas, who ridiculously found himself stepping back from the frail old woman.

“No Aunty, Cas saved me.” Cas breathed a sigh of relief as Asasa switched her gaze back to Chris. The old woman’s eyes were like razors, he had a suspicion that no corner of himself would be sacred under that diamond edged stare.

“Just as well,” Asasa sniffed, “I’ve never liked killing angels.”

“Did you do something to me Aunty?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about child!” Cas could tell she was lying, so evidentially could Chris.

“I think you do Aunty, tell me the truth. I nearly died, if Cas hadn’t been able to break the warding-”

“You broke the warding!” The momentary panic in her voice, hidden almost immediately gave away her guilt. Asasa seemed to sag and grow older before his eyes, “Your Daddy asked me to do it.”

“Why? Why would you do that without my permission.”

“Chris, you were a babe in arms. He wanted to protect you.”

“And Sarah? Did you protect her too? Cause that didn’t work out did it”

“I’m sorry about your sister, I truly am baby girl. I should have taken steps when she got married, but she didn’t want my help. I didn’t know he would find them”

“Who’s ‘he’” Cas interrupted, he reached out and snagged Chris’ hand.

“Asmodeus” Chris said softly.

“The prince of hell?” Cas took a breath, his chest suddenly tight.

“He has a grudge against our family, I don’t know why.” she looked up at him dark eyes filled with remorse, “I’m sorry I should have told you.”

“It’s alright, I won’t let him hurt you.”

“He’s no ordinary demon seraph, how can you possibly face a prince of hell.” Asasa scoffed, cas took a lingering step forward.

“ I will have you know, I have faced three princes of hell.”

“And what happened to them Cherie?”

“They died” Cas stalked away, allowing himself a grin at Asasa’s shocked intake of breath. “Lets go home” he called to Chris and stepped onto the street letting the door slam behind him.

Asasa shook her head at the disappearing angel and pulled her niece into a hug detaining her. “I love you child and yes I think he does love you, but he is not for you.”

“What do you mean” Chris asked softly.

“I don’t know, but its not just his wings, you know that. He is broken, and it will be for the one who broke him to fix him.”Asasa dropped her gaze, “provided he lives that long.”

Chris pushed Asasa away and walked out without a word, she grabbed Cas’ hand and pulled him after her.

“Did you really kill three princes of hell? Because I’ve been in your head choirboy and that is not the way I recall it.”

“maybe, not exactly, But they are dead. Is Asmodeus really after you?”

“I have spent my whole life running away from him, so yeah”

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence Cas said “She doesn’t like me.”

“Understatement Cas, if I’d brought home Lucifer she’d have been happier” Cas caught her round the waist, he was smiling.

“Well I have met Lucifer and I can tell you now, he is not relationship material.”

“But you are?” she teased

“Your closest living relative is a centuries old witch, you’re lucky to have me.”

“And your Dad is God, in messed up families I’ll take mine, thanks”, He kissed her again, in the middle of the crowded street, just because it felt good.

“If we ever get married the seating plan will be a nightmare.”

“don’t joke Cas”

“I love you, never doubt it.” he told her earnestly, not expecting a reply.

“I love you too choirboy.”She said it softly with a smile and Cas’ thought for a moment his heart had stopped, he gaped at her. “Is something wrong?”

“No, uh, it’s just that,uh”

“Spit it out blue eyes” she was laughing now, eyes sparkling. Cas felt his cheeks grow hot, he stared at his feet reluctant to answer.

“that’s the first time, anyone has ever said it back to me” Chris’ smile vanished and Cas found himself caught in a fierce hug.

“Can we do something fun?” Cas asked

“What do you mean?”

“Something normal and boring and human.” Chris looked at him in amusement.

“Okay.”

Cas had loved the farmers market, watching Chris choose fruit. Sometimes she would call him over, introduce him to someone. Sometimes she would urge him to taste something or admire some handicraft. She had called him over to one stall in particular where a grizzled old farmer was selling pots of golden honey. “Cas this is Larry, he is our local go to man for all your hunting needs.” Cas had shook hands with the man.

“Where you from Cas?” Larry had asked.

“He’s from up north, friend of Bobby Singers. I ran into him on a hunt.” Chris explained. Larry narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“What did you say your name was son.”

“Castiel.”

“Ah well I have heard about you, Bobby told me all about you.”Cas stiffened, suddenly aware he was unarmed. His angel blade was in the trunk of Chris’ car.

“What did he say”

“Nothing bad” Larry had smiled at him, “Bobby was a good friend, still miss the old son of a bitch. You need anything you call me.”He had handed Cas a card and two jars of honey. “On the house.”

“Thank you”

Now Cas was driving down the 55 as the sun set, driving towards home. Chris was a humming along to a song on the radio, her hand resting on his leg. “Thank you for letting me drive, Dean never let me drive the Impala.”Chris didn’t answer for a moment.

“You and Dean, you are close aren’t you?” she asked when they pulled off the highway and on to the scrubby road leading to her house.

“He is my brother. He and Sam they are my family.”

“You’re lucky to have them, No-one should do this job alone.” There was something painful in her voice, Cas glanced at her, she was staring out the window.

“You’re not alone any-more, I’m here and Dean will come round.”

“Don’t hold your breath, Cas.” Chris leaned forward and turned the radio up “Love this song”, she explained. Cas listened to the words frowning.

“Angel with a shot gun?” he asked eyebrow raised. Chris shrugged.

“Could almost be about you.”

“I don’t own a shotgun.”He sounded confused, Chris laughed, then realised he was serious.

“Sometimes you are too adorable.” Cas spun the wheel and turned up the drive, there was a car already parked outside the house. He recognised it with a groan.

“That’s the Impala isn’t it”

“Yes”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Things take a nasty turn.

The front door was ajar, Chris strode in angrily. She found Dean and Sam in her kitchen, sat at the table, drinking her coffee. At least Sam was drinking coffee, Dean had helped himself to a beer and was sat with his feet on the table.

“You broke into my house!” she shouted at Dean.

“Well nobody answered the door” He replied smiling insouciantly.

“In my defence I told him not to.” Sam interjected holding his hands up.

“Shut up Sam” Chris and Dean said simultaneously. Sam decided it was better to look at his boots.

“Where is Castiel, what have you done with him you bitch?” Dean demanded getting to his feet.

“I’m here Dean” Cas walked in the kitchen, carrying two brown paper bags. “I was getting the groceries from the car.” he added by way of explanation.

“You two have been grocery shopping, while I’ve been sat here thinking god knows what had happened to you, you two have been playing HOUSE?!”

“Well we did visit a witch, but its ok she is Christine’s aunt.”

“You’ve been meeting her family.” Dean shook his head.

Cas grinned “Fyi she is not a fan.”

“Ok, I can’t do this. Sam.”

“Chris I’m sorry we broke in, but I’ve been calling both of you all day. Tell me you would not have been a little concerned.” Sam looked at Chris, with his best kicked puppy expression.

“I turned my cell off” She admitted.

“As did I” Cas, embraced Chris from behind and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry if you were concerned.”Dean just looked at them in disbelief.

“Is that my leather jacket?”

“So are you two staying the night?”Chris asked, “Or are you planning on dragging Cas home this very moment.”

“We will get a motel.” Dean snorted. Picking up his jacket. Cas looked upset.

“Look there’s not a decent motel until you get back to the city, I have two spare rooms. Please stay.” Chris tried to sound conciliatory, aware that Cas was smiling at Dean hopefully.

“Well I don’t fancy the drive back tonight, I’ll gladly stay.” Sam looked at his brother, “Come on Dean, you can’t really want to drive anywhere else tonight.” Dean looked round at all three of them, and gave up.

“Ok fine, just hope there is enough beer for me to cope with this.”

“Excellent!” Cas began unpacking the groceries, “I’ll cook.” The three humans looked at him shocked.

“Hang on, you cook now?” Dean asked dubiously, voicing what they were all thinking. Cas shrugged at them.

“How hard can it be.”

 

It was maybe ten minutes into the awkward silence that threatened to go on all night, that Sam decided enough was enough.“So your aunt is a witch?”

“Yeah, though she’s not really my aunty more like my sixteenth times great grandmother, she is the reason my Dad decided to settle here in Louisiana.”

“Wow, that’s kind of cool. isn’t it Dean?” Dean glowered at Sam, behind them Cas was happily chopping vegetables.

“She’s still a witch, I hate witches.”

“She protected my Dad from the BMOL, helped us hide.”

“Do you know what your Dad did that they didn’t like” Sam asked gently.

“No, I just know they wanted us dead. He’d never talk about it, even when he was dying.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam squeezed her hand. Uncomfortable Dean had got up and was prowling the contents of the kitchen shelves.

“Hey who is this?”he asked appreciably holding up a framed photo.

“That is my little sister could you put it back please.” Chris told him coldly.

“I’m sorry, I was just asking.” He still hadn’t put the picture down, Chris crossed the room and snatched it from his fingers, placing it very gently on the shelf, Sam watched his brother with mounting anger. “and who are these cheeky imps” Dean asked picking up another gilt edged frame. Chris took that from him as well, her face unreadable.

“These are my nephews” she touched the picture with a trembling finger, “This is Marcus and the baby was Luke.” Sam realised Cas had stopped chopping and was staring at Dean furiously. The sarcastic smile vanished from Dean’s face.

“What happened?”

“Demon, not quite a year ago. Sarah tried to get out of the life and she did for a while.”

“I am so sorry, I didn’t know. I’m an asshole, ask anyone, Cas will tell you. I thought maybe they were a friends kids.” Sam couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Dean try and back pedal so fast. Gently he took the picture and placed it back on the shelf. “I’m sorry” his brother repeated, then caught Chris in a bear hug, she returned it gingerly, after about thirty seconds Cas coughed.

“Dean, let go of my girlfriend.” Dean relinquished his hold and gave Chris his best ‘naughty boy’ smile. Chris laughed, Dean swaggered across the kitchen to where Cas was now frying onions with scientific concentration.

“I got to tell you brother, she smells so good”

“I know like warm honey.” Cas agreed smiling.

“Amen to that brother, and so very hot.”

“You have no idea” Cas told him with a wink and tossed a load of mushrooms into the pan. Dean made a sound half way between a groan and a laugh.

“You are going to tell me everything, Cas.”

“Dean help me choose some tunes?” Chris called to him.

“And she gets better, I’m sorry I doubted you Cas.” he said and clapped him on the shoulder.

 

“That was pretty damn good.” Dean wiped the last of the sauce off his plate with a crust of bread and chewed it slowly. Cas looked down at his own plate, a half embarrassed, half proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Dean dropped his gaze as a familiar feeling washed over him. It was followed by a spike of intense anger when Chris, collecting the plates paused behind Cas and kissed him on the top of his head. She slid her fingers into his shirt for a moment, caressing Cas’ collar bone. She happened to look at Dean, he saw her skin pale, her expression briefly contorted with a spasm of something akin to pain. In response Dean felt his face flush and he forced himself to smile. Chris smiled back and carried the dishes away, but her movements were stiff and the dishes banged loudly against the kitchen counter as she put them down. Dean joined her by the sink as Sam asked Cas about some arcane piece of lore he was reading about on his tablet.

“Chris, I’m sorry about the way I’ve behaved.” he said quietly as he rinsed plates

“I know you are Dean.”

“We are both on the same side here after all. Are we good?”

“Well we both want the same thing, don’t we?.” Her eyes flicked towards the other end of the room. Dean bit his lip and said nothing, Chris took the final plate from him and dried it. “I’m going to lose him, I can feel it. The only question is how.” Dean really saw her then, perhaps the way Cas saw her. A glass with a crack in it, and he did not want to be the one to break her. He took a breath.

“I know, I feel the same way.” Dean admitted, his voice unsteady. He clasped her hand, she squeezed it back and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Should we hug too?”Sam said loudly.

“Dean, my girlfriend remember?” Dean let her go and grinned at Cas.

“Just bonding Cas.”He shared another haunted glance with Chris, and plastered a silly smile on his face. “you want me though, I can tell.”he raised an eyebrow a clear message to ‘play along’.

“Baby, I’d break you.”

“Promises, promises”

“You know this is making me uncomfortable.” Cas said in a slightly hurt tone of voice.

“Well its making me feel like I need a cold shower.”Sam laughed.

“Just banter boys, ain’t that right Chris?”

“Like I said I’d break you” Chris yawned. “I’m going to bed.” She announced, and walked out of the kitchen, stopping only to stoop down and kiss Cas fiercely. “Are you coming blue eyes?”

“Woah” Sam muttered and shook his head. Cas looked at his friends.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go to bed now.” he told them and shot out of his chair. Dean watched him go nonplussed. 

“Sam, tell me there’s more beer.” At that moment Cas reappeared his shirt was undone, his hair tousled.

“Just an FYI, you may want to turn the music up for the next hour or so” He raised his eyebrows at them and vanished again.

“Tell me he did not just say that..” Dean covered his face.

“Well, he seems happy, you still got a bad feeling about this?” Sam leaned over and turned Chris’ ipod up as the sound of Cas being very happy indeed filtered through the walls. Dean rolled his eyes.

“You know what Sam? I like Chris she seems sweet and I do think she cares about our little tree topper.”

“But?” Sam prompted.

“What kind of life can he offer her really?”Dean squeezed his hands together, and sighed. “Its not like they can live happily ever after, no kids, no growing old together. We’ve seen how this story ends, remember Kelly Kline?”Dean looked at his brother. “And yes, I still have a bad feeling.”

 

Cas missed sleep, odd how the thing he had found hardest to deal with when he was human, was the one thing he missed the most. At the bunker he used to listen in on Sam and Dean’s dreams, sooth away their nightmares. At least he had until Dean had mentioned how often Cas was a bit player in his night time imaginings, especially that one reoccurring dream neither of them would ever discuss. So he had withdrawn and spent the night hours distracting himself from loneliness by any means necessary. But now with Chris curled in his arms, he wished for sleep, he hungered for it. Just to rest with perfect trust in the arms of his beloved, not his only beloved he had to admit that, but the one who could accept what he had to give without injury. It was no good, he slipped out of bed, pulled on pants and padded silently down the hall.

He paused next to the guest rooms. Sam was curled on his side cuddled into his blanket, pillow scrunched up under his head. Cas smiled it was easy to see the child Sam had been, he seemed to go back to childhood in sleep. He closed the door, the second guest room was directly opposite the first, the door was open and Dean was sat up staring at him.

“Hey, what are you doing Cas?”

“Nothing, did I wake you?”

“No I’ll be honest I’ve not been to sleep yet.”

“Chris is asleep, I was going to sit on the porch. I do that sometimes.” He explained.

“Well, I’ll sit with you, I’m not tired.” He threw off his covers and reached for his jeans. Cas turned away so Dean wouldn’t see the blush that he felt blossoming on his face.

“I’ll see you downstairs.” Cas told him.

Cas sat on the swing seat and stared up at the sky. The far horizon was lit by the distant glow of New Orleans but above him a multitude of stars glittered in the heavens. Dean grunted as he sat down next to Cas.

“Here” he held out a tumbler of whiskey.

“That won’t do much for me.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to drink alone” Dean had his own glass and the bottle, which he propped up on the step.

“Dean, there is something I need to tell you.”

“About what Cas?”Dean was still avoiding his eyes, he sipped his whiskey nonchalently.

“It’s about Chris.” Cas heard him sigh.

“Cas, I’m really not someone who should be giving out dating tips,“he tossed the whisky back and poured himself another large one. “true love and all that disney bullshit are not my area.”

“It’s not that”

“What’s wrong Cas.” Cas looked at Dean and shook his head.

“Dean, she- Asmodeus is after her, he wants her for some nefarious purpose” Cas watched as Dean absorbed that information, his friend paused mid-sip and slowly put his glass down. When he finally turned to look at Cas his expression was furious.

“Asmodeus, the prince of hell is after your girlfriend and you are only telling me now.”

“I’m sorry Dean, I should’ve told you earlier”

“Damn straight you should of” Dean scratched at his hair tiredly. “Do you know why?”

“No, only he has a grudge.”

“Right, well that’s great, just great Cas.” Dean paused and for once looked Cas in the straight in the eye.

“okay well, then I say come home, bring Chris. The bunker will be safer, Cas we are better together. You, me , Sam.”

“Thank-you, Dean.” Cas was surprised he had expected a fight, recriminations, but deans anger had vanished as quickly as it came.“I really do love her you know.”

“Well, you do seem to be having really hot sex, a lot.” This was Dean lightening the mood Cas knew, he went along with it.

“yes we are.”

“You lucky bas-did you hear that?” a door swung shut somewhere, they both froze listening. “The house is warded?”

“Yes Heavily” another sound but from inside this time followed by a shout of alarm.

“That was Sam, come on”

They slipped quietly through the front door and up the stairs and found Sam standing over a body, he had the demon knife in one hand. “Sam what happened?” Dean demanded.

“I don’t know I woke up and this dude was in my room.”

“Where is Chris?”Cas’ blood ran cold.

“I’m sorry I don’t know Cas”

He ran down the hall, to the main bedroom. Dean and Sam a step behind him, he burst through the door. On the bed a demon in a white suit was holding Chris by her throat, she was struggling to breathe.

“Not one move further gentlemen or I’ll crush this pretty things throat.”

“Put her down Asmodeus” Cas growled, his eyes flashed blue.

“My, my what do we have here? Castiel, You been partaking of the garden son?”

“I said put her down.”

“Now why would I do that, when I came here to fetch her?” Chris went suddenly limp and the demon tossed her over his shoulder. Cas howled with rage and rushed forwards, only to find himself held fast. Asmodeus winked “I have to thank you boys, I’ve been looking for this child a very long time, thank you so much for your assistance.” Then he was gone, and so was Chris, nothing remained but the lingering scent of sulphur. What ever spell was restraining them vanished and Cas stumbled forward.

“What the hell just happened?” Sam asked.

“Cas I thought you said the house was warded?”

“It is, or it was.” he looked round the room in shock, “I don’t understand.”

“No me neither Cas.”Dean took his friend by the shoulders, “Just breath, buddy.”

“He was after Chris. Why?” Sam wondered. “And why didn’t he gank us?”

“He was in a rush.”Dean pointed out. Cas was barely listening to the conversation, his mind was a maelstrom of recriminations and dread.

“Dean, I have to find her.”

“No buddy, we will find her, Together. I know you feel like running off and doing some thing stupid, but I need you to focus right now.”

“This is my fault!”

“Cas it’s going to be alright we can fix this. I promise you, Sam and me, we will help you. Right now lets go downstairs, fix the warding and think.” Dean gripped him by the shoulder and steered him out of the room. “Sam take a look around, and check the dead guys pockets, I’ll take care of Cas.”

“Yeah, of course”

It a while before Sam rejoined his brother in the kitchen. Cas was sat the table, staring into nothing. Dean beckoned him over to the other end of the room. “Hows he doing? Sam asked, looking at Cas’ dejected form.

“How do you think?” Sam heard the suppressed anger in his brothers voice, Dean taking all the guilt on his shoulders-again.

“Dean, are you alright.”

“No Sammie, I am pretty far from alright. Why the hell couldn’t she have been a witch or a siren or some other non-complicated problem. Instead of-”

“Instead of what? Dean.”

“Instead of someone I liked, instead of the first girl that our best friend fell in love with.”

“Dean-”

“If I ever see Chuck again, I’m going to punch him in the face, probably more than once.”

“I get that, Dean. But we need to put this aside and do the job in front of us, just like always.”Dean gave Sam a hard stare.

“You know I can hear everything you two are saying.” Cas snorted. Sam sat down next to him.

“I checked the house, every devils trap has been struck through, I’ve fixed the ones I could.”

“The warding is the same.” Cas held up a hand, briefly occult characters glowed on the wall, then faded. “Its distorted, like its been blown apart.”

“So had to be done by a non-demon, the devils traps at least, maybe Asmodeus has a witch on the payroll.” Sam suggested.

“Maybe, I just don’t get why he took her, if he has a grudge why not just kill her?” Dean looked at Cas sympathetically, “I’m sorry man.”

“Because he knows I care about her, that is reason enough for him” Cas sounded so bitter to Sam’s ears, clearly the angel and his brother were in a competition to see who could drown in self pity first.

“Yeah that guy is enough of a douchebag to pull that one.”

“No” Sam interrupted unable to stand the combined pity-fest any more. “This wasn’t about us, guys, this was about her.” Cas and Dean looked at him dubiously, “Look Asmodeus said he had been looking for her for years, specifically her.”

“She’s just a human hunter.” Cas said softly.

“But she’s not is she?. She has that freaky psychic thing. She told me about it dinner. Maybe that’s why he was after her?”Sam watched his brother and the angel digest that information, he sometimes wondered if they were a little slow, or if they were so wrapped up in their own internal dramas that anything outside barely touched them. “So what does Asmodeus need a psychic for?”, the horrified look in Cas’ eyes froze Sam in to silence.

“I can think of about a thousand things and all of them are disturbing” Cas said slowly.

“Come on guys, we need ideas. Sitting here apportioning blame is not helping Chris. How are we going to find her?”Sam tried very hard to hide his frustration.

“He will have her some where warded, so a tracking spell is pointless” Dean pointed out.

“Maybe not, Cas you said to pull Chris out of her dream world, you had to use possession right?”

“Yes, but I don’t see how that helps.”

“So she is carrying around some of your grace?” 

“It would be miniscule, I wasn’t inside her for long”

“well you made up for that.” Dean said with a grin, Sam’s mouth dropped open.

“Dude this is hardly the time.”

“Sorry Sammie just trying to lighten the moment.”

“That tracking spell didn’t work when we tried it on Gadreel.”

“I know but I was thinking, maybe it just needed more power?”

“I think I know who we can ask” Cas said grimly, “though there is a chance she will try to kill me”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: TFW make a mind blowing discovery and things change forever..canon violence

“This is it?” Dean asked Looking with disgust at the tacky shop front. Cas ignored him and pushed the door open.

“Be careful I sensed she is very powerful.”

“Well your the one dating her niece. I’ll stand behind you” Dean quipped. Sam gave Dean a look of exasperation and went to stand next to Cas.

“Asasa are you here?” Cas called softly, there was no answer. Cas turned to Sam. “She is very old maybe she is still asleep.”

“I told you to call me Aunty Asasa flyboy.” She was there in front of them, eyes narrowed and face flushed with anger. Cas noticed that this time she carried a staff, the opa iku, ancestor stick. He took a respectful step back and motioned at Sam and Dean to do the same. “And I may be old, but I am still your elder in every way.” There was a short silence.

“UHH Cas maybe we should just go, I don’t think this nice lady is up for a visit.” Dean held up his hands and gave the wizened old lady his best little boy smile. “Sorry to have disturbed you ma’am.” he started to back away. Asasa tilted her head on one side and banged the staff on the floor. All three found themselves rooted to the spot.

“Now tell me something Castiel where is my niece? And why have you brought the Winchester boys to my home?”

“Asasa-”

“Aunty, have respect for your elders.”

“You are not my elder.”

“You want to think about that for a moment Cherie?” she tapped the staff on the ground again and looked at him. “So flyboy, where is my baby girl?” the eyes she turned on him were flinty. Cas swallowed in trepidation.

“I don’t know” he took a step forward, “I need your help, she has been taken”.

“By who?” Cas didn’t want to answer that, he bit his lip hoping she would not notice the thundering of his heart or the guilt ridden sweat that suddenly drenched him.

“It was Asmodeus.“ he admitted.

“And what were you doing while this abomination was taking my only kin?”

“nothing” he lied.

“but why take her at all?” Sam interjected, “if she was no-one just a random hit I could understand.. but he wanted her.”

“Of course he wanted her, he has always wanted her.”

“you care to elaborate on that Lady.” Dean snapped, Asasa turned her attention to him, he resisted the urge to look away it was hard. Her gaze flayed him, she could see right through him right to the core. Her mouth drew back in disgust at the mess she found there. Asasa circled them staff tapping on the floor, she stopped and peered at Sam.

“Aunty Asasa we just want to fix this.” Sam told her earnestly.

“See that’s how you talk to your elders,” she said to Castiel and Dean. “You have a good heart Sam Winchester. These other two, not so much. Too selfish, too wrapped up in their own angst. Looks like my baby picked the wrong man to hook up with.” She turned back to to Cas and whacked the back of his knees with her staff. The strength of the blow took him by surprise and he crashed to the floor. She placed a foot on the back of his neck and applied more pressure than should have been possible with her wizened body .

“Get off of him you bitch!”Dean shouted.

“Shut your mouth boy.” A click of her fingers threw Dean to the floor and held him there. “You see Castiel, Sam here would have died before letting that thing take her. Sam would never have left her alone for a moment.”

“I didn’t-” he gasped as she applied more pressure.

“Don’t you lie to me. I know you seraph, inside and out” she drew back her foot and kicked him hard in the chest, the pain was intense he tasted blood. Then she withdrew, and sat on the counter arranging her skirts meticulously. “You may get up” she told them regally. Cas struggled to his feet. Dean was staring at him, his expression full of concern Cas avoided his eyes. “Did it ever occur to you to say no to her, Castiel?”

“I-”

“No it didn’t did it?, not for a single second. You saw this lovely bright human thing and you wanted it. Not that I can blame you, I did the same myself, once” As she spoke her form shifted, flowed and reformed. She grew taller, younger, her skin darkened from coffee to polished mahogany. “Do you know me Castiel?” she took a step forwards golden light flared her eyes, unbroken wings more massive than his own flared into blinding existence. Sam and Dean grunted and covered their eyes. Cas would have run then if he was able, but the spell held him fast and he cowered heart thumping. “I said do you know me flyboy?”

“No.” The point of a blade under his chin forcing him to look up, an archangel’s sword triple sided and wickedly sharp.

“Cas, what the hell is going on, who is she?” Dean demanded, but Cas had no answer for him. Slowly Asasa allowed her wings to fade and the light to die in her eyes. She sheathed her sword and leaned back against the counter top nonchalantly playing with the end of one of her sliver bound dreadlocks.

“You really don’t know me, do you little brother?” She sighed and flicked her fingers releasing them from restraint. Dean immediately rushed towards her drawing an angel blade, Cas grabbed him.

“Don’t!” He snatched the weapon from Deans grasp and dropped it.

“Cas what the hell!”

“She’s an archangel” Cas hissed.

“No she can’t be.”Sam said shaking his head, “There are only four Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel.”

“You’re a clever boy Sam, I like you. But you’re wrong” She laughed, a beautiful sound. “Ah my little brothers, endlessly arguing, fighting and messing up. Only one I had any time for was Gabriel, he was a sweet boy. He liked you Castiel, took you under his wing as it were.”Cas was silent, he remembered a long ago beach, waves lapping his brother pointing out an ugly snub-nosed fish as it pulled itself on to the gritty sand. Asasa smiled “I was there that morning, Castiel.”

“You were not.”

“Oh I was child. And the only reason you and these boys are not bloody smears on the floor, is because my little brother cared about you. Not that it helped him any, since you also got him killed.”

“That was Lucifer.”

“Yes it was, but it was you three idiots as let him out in the first place.” She took hold of Cas’ chin, he dared not move, Asasa smiled. “Seems like Daddy wiped me from the minds of all my kin, suppose I had better rectify that before we go any further.” She kissed him very softly and threw him to the floor.

Cas was stunned as the memories unwound in his mind. They did nothing to assuage the dread that had taken hold of him when Asasa had revealed her wings. Dean was shaking his shoulder “Cas, buddy what did she do to you?.”

“Ah bless your heart, I just gave his memory a poke” she shoved Cas with her foot. “Get up child, you ain’t hurt.” She glanced at Sam, “Sammie help your brother get this fool on his feet.”The boys lifted him, but it was Dean who held his shaking shocked form upright. “Don’t you two look sweet, so do you know me now brother?”

“Ariela?”Cas pushed Dean away and stepped forward unbelieving, “but sister you died, you died in flood.”

“Well that’s what Daddy told you, before he decided to wipe me from your mind.” She smiled bitterly. “The others died, my brothers and sisters and their children.”

“You created nephilim, you broke the rules!”Despite his fear Cas was angry.

“No Castiel I made children and they were beautiful, do you remember them?”

“Yes” he admitted.

“My sons Gilgamesh and Anepu fine boys, until they were murdered by their own grand father.” she hitched herself up on the counter and stared pensively at her hands. Cas could sense her grief, it lay across her grace like a shadow.

“Sister, I am sorry.”

“Its not for you to apologise for that Castiel.”

“Hang on, your son was Gilgamesh, the Gilgamesh? And he was a nephilim?”

“That’s right Sammie you keep going up in my estimation. How else do you think he fought the bull of heaven?” She sighed. “Do you know the real reason why god flooded the earth?”

“Because it was wicked?” Sam shrugged.

“This ain’t bible study boy, he did it to get rid of us me and my brothers and sisters who chose humanity over Daddy.”

“Well I’m loving the bedtime story, but what has this got to do with Chris” Dean demanded. Cas suddenly felt sick as realisation hit him.

“It has everything to do with her doesn’t it?”

“That’s right flyboy. After Michael killed my boys, when I realised what our Daddy was up to I took my grand-babies and I hid them, I kept them safe from the flood watched over them and their children and so on down all the long years. Once I had a tribe of kin, now I only have Christine, my last baby girl.”

“So your telling us Chris is a freaking nephilim!” Dean turned away throwing his arms in the air “Well that’s just great.”

“My last baby girl, I protected her. Warded her against those that would use her and now” she paused, her face a mask of rage, “because of you Castiel she is with that thing Asmodeus and only my father knows what he plans to do with her.”

“Why couldn’t you just pick up an ordinary girl from a bar like a normal person” Dean sounded exasperated he grabbed Cas’ arm. Cas wanted badly to reassure him, but he couldn’t find the words.

“She’s very strong my Christine, probably stronger than she knows. She called you to her Castiel or did you think you just happened to follow her to that cemetery?”Cas wanted to deny it, he wanted it to be untrue all of it. Ariela watched him battle against himself with every sign of enjoying his pain. She jumped lightly from her perch and took his face in her hands. “you see Castiel, its not just my baby you lost. You let Asmodeus take her, all these years I’ve been I have protected her from him, now he has her.”

“Do you know what he is planning?”

“No Sam I do not, but it will be something terrible to behold.” she turned her attention back to Castiel, he made himself meet her gaze. “So this is what is going to happen flyboy, I’m going to use your grace to find my baby and then you and your friends here are going to go and get her. Are we clear?” Cas nodded, Ariela smiled nastily. Cas felt heat begin to build in his face, first it was unpleasant then it became unbearable. He resisted the urge to scream though he could hear Dean shouting at Ariela. An intense flash of light signalled the end of his ordeal, he staggered as she let him go but managed to stay upright this time, he waved Dean and Sam away.

”She is in Illinois, a place called Blue Mound there’s an old mansion out side of town.” Cas told Sam and Dean.

“Good then we better start driving” Dean said.

“Oh Castiel, one final word” Ariela called over her shoulder as she made her way behind the counter. “If you fail to bring my baby girl home safe and sound, I will rip those broken wings from your shoulders and gut you myself and your boy toy.”

“Hey! I am not his boy toy and what about Sam?” Dean pointed at his brother.

“Sam I like, he knows how to be polite.”Ariela turned on the cash register. “Now get gone boys, I have to open the shop.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Implied sexual threat, implied torture, Chris finds out who she is.

Pounding pain in her temple roused Chris from one profound darkness to another lesser one. For a while she lay still and rode the waves of sickness that washed over her. Concussion, she decided, she sat up slowly cataloguing her body’s hurts. Her throat hurt, the skin on her knees and palms were on fire, her fingers found a gritty crust of dried blood on her forehead-that would be the cause of the concussion then and she was bone numbingly, blood chillingly cold. When the next spasm of nausea passed she staggered upright and felt her way round the walls of her prison. A small space, stone built her questing fingers told her, with a metal door at one end and a wooden bench attached to one wall. The bench contained a rough blanket and nothing else. It smelled strongly of things she did not want to think about, but she wrapped herself in it anyway and sat on the bench tucking her feet under her and wrapping her arms round her legs. Eventually the blood returned to her hands and feet in a painful tingling rush, she allowed herself let out a single sob “Cas”. She wondered if he were dead, her memories were ribbons. She remembered his voice shouting in fear, then blackness and another memory surfaced. She had woken up before this in another place surrounded by demons, she had flown at them, they hadn’t expected that. She had been trying to make them kill her-clearly she had failed. Tears threatened she blinked them away, no she would get out of here and if Cas was dead, well she would make every last one of them burn!

For a long time she thought that perhaps she had been thrown in here to rot, but eventually the door opened and a small bowl of food and a mug of water was shoved across the floor. The first time she knocked over the water in her haste to slake the thirst that had plagued her for hours. The smell of the food revolted her stomach and she couldn’t bring herself to eat it. The second time the demon bringing the food looked round the door before shoving the tray across the floor, Chris did her best to present a picture of cowed terror, not difficult considering what she must look like. The Demon grunted in satisfaction and the door banged shut. So they were feeding her, that meant they wanted her alive and if they wanted her alive that made them stupid. She ate the food holding her nose, huddled back under her blanket summoned last nights last good memory into her mind and forced herself to sleep.

She was dreaming of darkness and voices that whispered to her on the edge of hearing, a crowd somewhere she could not quite see. The words she caught were half formed, primitive and viscerally compelling. Her dream self strained to listen. “A ne pir ooana elasa” a single voice called. Then another, a bright note desperate in its intensity, aching in its familiarity.

“Quiin A caosga elasa!!”

“I’m here Castiel! I’m right here!” Chris woke with a jolt on the floor of her cell, heart hammering her face sticky with tears. She sat there for a moment before she realised that the aching pain in her temple, the one she was beginning to suspect was actually a skull fracture, was gone. Slowly, carefully she stood. The skin on her knees no longer pulled with the grazes there, one of her hands still hurt but even as she rubbed it a golden glow showed through the torn scabbed skin and smoothed it over. “what the hell?”she whispered. Power she could feel it, just below her skin, her body thrummed like a dynamo. No use wondering how this had happened, she could figure that out later. The only thing that mattered was how could she use it to get away from here. The cold seemed less intense, a pleasant warmth filled her. “Ok” she said to herself, “its dark in here” she suggested. A small glow kindled in her hand illuminating her face. Interesting, She did not have time to investigate further the door rattled open and she extinguished the light with a thought. Two burly Demons stood in the door way, one rattled handcuffs at her suggestively.

“The king will see you now.” He said with mock politeness.

It was some kind of abandoned mansion, all peeling paint and faded gaudy décor, speaking of more money than taste. She was marched up a grand staircase to a large room decorated with floor to ceiling mirrors, every one was cracked reflecting the candle light in crazy ways. Until this point Chris had forgotten she only had a ratty old blanket wrapped round herself for modesty, she became aware of just how utterly filthy she was. Her nails crusted and broken, her feet and hands black. The Thing on the throne at the centre of the room however was blindingly white. His hair and beard immaculately groomed, he smiled at her pleasantly.

“Why hello Darlin’, I am so pleased you could be here.”

“Asmodeus” She acknowledged him with a nod.

“You know my name, well I’m flattered. I have been looking for you for a very long time. We are going to do great things sweetheart.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, I’m just a hunter. Kill me already.” He stepped down from his throne and peered into her eyes smiling his oh so pleasant smile.

“Oh you under estimate yourself child” His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist turning it so he could see the veins under her skin. He licked his lips and scored a nail across, blood welled up. She tried to pull away but was held fast by his goons. He dipped a finger delicately into the welling blood. “Now lets see if you have enough juice for my purposes” he popped his finger in his mouth sucking it delightedly. “Mmmm, yes I can taste that angelic grace. Its strong in you, just as well. I was going to use Lucifer half -breed, but he managed to evade my armies. You will do just as well.” He dipped his finger and tasted again “but there’s something else. You been possessed by an angel, more than possessed I can taste him. He has been inside you in every-way possible.” Chris stared at him defiantly, even though she was fighting the urge to vomit.

“Get off me”

“It was that mortal loving pustule, Castiel wasn’t it. Is that broken winged freak in love with you?” Chris didn’t answer. “he is isn’t he!” Asmodeus laughed to himself. “Ah no matter, he will go down like the rest.”

“What do you want with me?”

“Ohh sweet thing I don’t need you just your blood. Child of an archangel, with your blood I can scour the grace from every angel in heaven and earth.”

“No I’m not a nephilim”

“yes you are sweetheart, though it seems considerably less powerful than is usual.”

“you may find you are wrong about that” She had been telling the power to wait, to build now she smiled at Asmodeus. “you may want to get out of the way” He frowned at her puzzled, then alarmed as she unclenched her fist and a light began to glow hot and golden, kill them all she told it savagely. It built until she was blinded, she heard the demons behind her scream and then let it go.

 

“Are you sure this is the place Cas?. It looks deserted” Dean looked dubiously at the rotting mansion with its pillared front. Cas leaned over the impala’s back seat. Dean was feeling happier now, Cas had re-donned his usual apparel. Seeing his angel wearing anything other than a trench coat was unsettling-not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

“Yes Ariela, burned an image of this place into my mind.”

“That chick does not mess around.”

“Can we go?”Cas demanded. They had arrived in Blue Mound that afternoon, and Cas had been driving both brothers to distraction. Their usually patient friend had become a snappy, agitated, angry mess when Dean had insisted they wait until night fall. Now he appeared to be cruising close to the edge of true rage. Dean sighed.

“Cas buddy listen to me, you have to calm down. We don’t know how many demons are in there, which means we have to be careful. Get in, get Chris and get out-Quietly. If we go rushing in there Asmodeus may just kill her, and us. So stow your crap.” Cas at least looked contrite, but Dean sensed his friend was still furious.

“I am sorry Dean, I’ll try and calm down.”

“Look Cas I’d be the same if it was someone I cared about in there. Just try and keep it together” Sam said, giving his brother a slightly disapproving look, which Dean ignored.

“Come on lets gear up”

As they exited the car, the wind picked up. The clouds abruptly started racing across the sky and there was a sound like thunder. “Well, that’s not weird at all” Dean looked towards the mansion just as another large bang sounded from the heavens, the place was lit up. White light streamed form every window and door. He closed his eyes, but he could still see it through the lids. In the next moment it had gone as if someone had flicked a switch. “Cas what the freaking hell was that!”. As the after image cleared from his eyes Dean could see his friend staring at the house in horror. “Cas?”

“I don’t know” he stuttered, he was shaking his head. “I have to get in there” he turned and ran towards the house.

“Cas wait, you idiot!”Dean called to no avail.

“Stupid question, Are we going after him?” Sam asked.

”Of course, I knew we should have chained him in the dungeon. Grab the stuff from the trunk and follow me.”

They found Cas standing next to one of the peeling wooden columns four dead demons strewn in front of him.”I take it that wasn’t you” Sam said, leaning down to examine the corpse’s empty burned eye sockets.

“No.”

“Cas this looks like-”

“Yes I know, these demons have been smited.” Cas walked inside, the brothers followed him more carefully, Dean pulled an angel blade from his jacket, Sam unsheathed his demon knife.

“Cas, hold up.” Dean caught hold of his friends shoulder, Cas looked back.

“There is no need for caution, I’m not sensing a single demon in this place. What I am sensing is something else.”

“Angels?” Sam asked

“No something different. This way” They climbed the stairs, there were more blasted demons here, lying on their chests sprawled down the stairs.

“It looks like they were running away” Sam observed “But from what?” More dead on the first landing by a pair of grand doors that hung half off their hinges.

“In here” Cas whispered and ducked in to the darkness. Dean and Sam switched on their flash lights and followed. A lot of bodies here, these were blackened and twisted as if they had been close to the centre of an explosion. A soft sob attracted Deans attention, he pointed his flash light in the direction from which it seemed to come. There was a large throne-like chair in the centre of the room huddled on it was a pale figure.

“Cas!” he called out as he recognised it as Chris, he need not have bothered. His friend was already in motion, shrugging off his trench coat and wrapping it round his naked filthy lover.

“Chris what the hell happened here?” Sam asked her gently. She stared at them, her eyes large with fear.

“It was me, I happened Sammie” She said unbelievingly. Cas touched her forehead.

“She’s in shock, we have to get her out of here now.” He swung her up into his arms.

“Where is Asmodeus?” Dean wondered aloud.

“He left, I made him leave, he wanted to-” Chris muttered

“It’s okay, you’re alright I have you”

“Cas what’s happening to me? Asmodeus said things-” Chris’ voice trailed off and her eyes rolled back in her head.

“Is she alive” Dean asked when Cas nodded, he pulled his own jacket from his shoulders and tucked it over her. “If it’s shock we need to keep her warm. We should go before evil Colonel Sanders decides to come back”

“Back to the motel?”

“No the bunker, it’ll be safer.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Cas has to face a grim truth, Ariela tries to help. Talk of death and dying.

“We are not going anywhere for at least a week” Dean told Sam and Cas emphatically, as he parked the Impala in the bunkers garage. “Night time is for sleeping, not driving”

“I don’t sleep, you could have let me drive” Cas pointed out testily as he helped Chris out of the car. Dean eyed her worriedly, she had slept the whole drive back, head pillowed on Cas’ lap and now she didn’t seem entirely awake.

“You ride the brakes worse than Sam, never happening Cas.”

“Hey dude, I’m right here” Sam snorted.

“Neither, of you show Baby the respect she deserves” Dean wagged his finger at his brother and his friend.

“Can you hear that?” Chris pulled away from Cas and took a fumbling step. Dean grabbed her arm.

“Hear what, Chris ?” Dean asked her softly, she wasn’t even seeing at him. Dean shook her shoulder a little, “Chris”. He didn’t like the glassy, vacant look in her eyes, “Chris!”.

“OL DOOAIN I Ariel PASH “ she said softly and then she screamed. A high pitched ululation that made Dean clap his hands over his ears. Chris dropped to her knees, head tipped to the heavens and her eyes glowing gold.

“OL DOOAIN I Ariel PASH” She shouted.

“Cas, what the hell!” Cas just stared dumbly at Chris in horror, Dean exchanged a glance with Sam.

“OL DOOAIN I Ariel PASH”

“Cas that’s angel radio!” Sam darted forward and dropped down, cradling Chris’ face between his hands. “Chris, its Sam. I need you to come away from that right now.” she didn’t even flinch, her gaze remained fixed on some point far above the ceiling.

“Cas what is she saying?” Dean felt panic starting to bubble up, a cold sweat broke out on his back-dread. Cas had pushed Sam to one side and taken his place, his hands hovered helplessly over her.

“She’s saying her name, it’s Enochian ‘I am the child of Ariela’”

“Can they hear her Cas?” Dean demanded. Abruptly the noise ceased and Chris crumpled into Cas arms.

“Dean, there is not an angel in creation, who didn’t hear that.” Cas laid a trembling hand on her hair.

“Can they find her Cas?” Sam’s voice was tight with sudden fear, Dean saw his brothers eyes dart round the room.

“I don’t know, Sam. I hope not”

“Okay, okay” Dean took a breath, aware that both Sam and Cas were watching him. Sam for reassurance and Cas, Cas with desperation, his eyes pleaded with Dean, don’t let her die. “Alright, Sam go strengthen the warding. Cas, you and me we’ll take Chris to the dungeon.”

“What Dean, no! she’s sick”

“Cas right now we don’t know what is wrong and I am not taking chances. Now C’mon!”

 

Two days, Cas had been in the dungeon for two days, watching Chris sleep, listening to her breathing becoming shallower. Staring through the flames that separated them, holy fire Dean had insisted, feeling like she was falling away from him and he couldn’t quite catch her. The door creaking as it opened distracted him, Dean and Sam standing there, expressions hopeless.

“Still nothing?” Cas asked already knowing the answer. Dean sighed and walked up clapping him on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry buddy, there’s nothing”

“Dean, It’s been days. Something is very wrong , we should call Ariela.” Cas heard the sigh that Dean couldn’t quite stifle.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, she threatened to gut you. Seeing her kid in this state-well it’s hardly going to endear you to her is it.”

“She’s getting worse, we can’t just sit here.” Cas stood up, shaking off Dean’s restraining hand. He caught himself praying and stopped abruptly. He had been angry at first, when his repeated attempts to heal her had failed and he had screamed at Sam and Dean to leave him alone. Now though, his rage had burned out leaving a sick hollow feeling and the cold horror of impending loss. He flinched as Dean pulled him into a short hard hug.

“I’m so sorry Cas” Dean’s voice sounded broken, guilty.

“I can’t lose her, I just can’t, please Dean.” Cas was aware he was begging, he stood up straight and looked Dean in the eye. “I love her,” His throat went dry as he said it and the pain in Dean’s eyes made the semi-permanent ache in his chest flare.

“Cas, it’s too dangerous”

“Dean, please. What would you do if it was Sam lying there? Or Jack? Or me?”

“That’s not the point.” Dean dropped his gaze, Cas could read the guilt written all over his face.

“Yes it is, I promised myself I would protect the people I love and that includes her” Cas scrubbed at the hot traitorous tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. “Now are you going to help me or not.” Dean just nodded.

“You’re right Cas, she’s family now. Okay, Sam call Ariela, she likes you. But first we are going to make a few preparations. I don’t want to be caught with my pants down by the mother in law.”

“Thank you, Dean”

Dean scrubbed his face tiredly, “I’m going to call Jack, tell him to stay away until this is over.”

“What are you going to tell him?” Cas felt sudden shame, he hadn’t told Jack about any of this, some parent he was.

“The truth obviously, Cas” Dean snapped, pulling his phone out of his pocket and walking away. Sam had been hanging back watching the argument, his forehead creased with concern, “Cas are you alright, I’m sorry this happened.”

“No Sam, I’m not alright.” he gestured towards Chris lying still and quiet, in her ring of fire. “Can we at least put out the flames now?” 

“Sure thing Cas, uh ‘PRG TELOC’” Sam intoned the enochian words effortlessly and the flames died down instantly. Cas was mildly impressed.

“Your Enochian is improving”

“Um, Thanks”

“your accent is still terrible though” Cas added as he stepped into the ashy circle and stared down at Chris sleeping on her make shift bed.

“Do you want me to stay?” Sam was still hovering anxiously.

“No, go and help Dean. I’ll be fine” he perched on the side of the table serving as Chris’ bed, though maybe bier would be a better word. She didn’t have long, he could tell from the shallowness of her breath. He leaned forward and kissed her, her lips were cold clay. A sob shook his whole body, he drew in an aching breath and let it whistle through his teeth in an effort to banish the pain squeezing at his heart like a vice. He pressed his forehead against her cool brow and prayed, not to god or heaven, but to her. “Please wake up, I can’t get to you this time.” Nothing. She just lay there, a land-locked Lady of Shalot, drifting further away from him. “I love you, we were just starting. Don’t leave me yet.” He kissed her again, half hoping to feel those lips warming at his touch, expecting to open his eyes and find her staring back at him and smiling. But this was no fairy tale and miracles don’t always happen. The bright eyes remain closed, no smile greeted him, no sound just the laboured breathing of a soul on the edge.

“Cas” Dean standing in the shadows, arms crossed defensively. “Buddy are you sure about this?”

“Yes Dean, I’m sure”

 

Dean stopped short of the bed and listened to Cas talk to his comatose lover. This hurts, he admitted to himself. Dean couldn’t get a handle on his feelings, he knew he was angry, but angry at what? Chris for lying there dying in front of his eyes?, Cas for falling in love? Or himself ? For being an abject coward? And then there was the other sensation, wrapped around all that rage: pain. Seeing Cas helpless, watching someone he loved slip away and being unable to do anything about it. Dean knew that feeling, knew it intimately. Because he had watched his life go up in flames, felt his heart empty. He had got a second chance, but the fear of having to go through that ever again had stopped him. Watching Cas was go through the exact same thing, made him want to rip his heart out of his chest. “Don’t leave me yet.” Cas whispered, Dean couldn’t stand it a moment longer, he took a step forward.

“Cas, Buddy are you sure about this?” he asked as gently as he could, folding his arms against the tightness in his chest.

“Yes Dean, I’m sure”

“Alright then” There was a scuff of leather on stone and Sam appeared carrying two jars of holy oil. Each of the amphora had a strip of fabric shoved in the neck, Sam passed them to Dean.

“What is the holy oil for” Cas asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I told you taking precautions.”

“Dean, you can’t Molotov cocktail my girlfriend’s mother.”

“Cas if she so much as looks at any of us wrong, I’m going to deep fry her wings.”

“Sam, make the call,” Dean snapped, before Cas could argue further. Sam nodded and dialled the number.

“Ariela, we need you to come to the bunker. Chris is really sick-”Sam held up his hands “She hung up on me.” There was a sound like a thunder clap, followed by a rush of feathers and Ariela was there, her eyes blazed and wings shone monstrously large against the walls . The Arch-angel was projecting a maelstrom of rage, Dean could feel it plucking at his brain. he resisted the urge to cower as Ariela raked all three of them with her golden gaze, breathing a sigh of relief when she seemed to dismiss them as unimportant. The glow faded and Ariela’s expression shifted from rage to profound sadness as she regarded her sleeping daughter.

“Oh baby girl, what have they done to you?”

“We didn’t do anything to her, she has been out of it since we got her back,” Dean growled, he ignored the warning look Cas threw him and sauntered over. Ariela’s eyes narrowed when she saw the jar of holy oil Dean was holding nonchalantly.

“And what are you planning on doing with that, pretty boy?”

“Just a little insurance”

“Dean maybe you should put that down” Sam appeared at Dean’s shoulder and yanked the holy oil from his grasp.

“Sam what the hell!”

“We are not here to fight” Sam set the jar down on the other side of the room, safely out of Dean’s reach. That earned him a slight smile from Ariela which infuriated Dean, “Ariela, we don’t know what Asmodeus did to her. She was screaming on angel radio, I’m surprised you didn’t hear her.” Ariela’s turn to look uncomfortable.

“You didn’t hear her did you?” Cas stood up, he looked furious.

“I switched it off boys”

“When?” Cas’ voice was low, dangerous.

“Calm down buddy”

“When the angels fell, all those screams. My brothers and sisters dying and nothing I could do except listen. What would you have had me do flyboy?” Her voice was like a razor, Cas turned away, but not before Dean saw how deeply her words cut him.

“Hey guys?” Sam again, always the peace-maker. Dean knew he should be grateful for the way Sam interceded, sometimes though, sometimes he just wanted a blazing stand up row. “Can we find out what’s wrong with Chris please? Ariela, Cas tried to heal her, but it’s not working.”

“Thank you Sam you really are a fine young man, now you boys back off give me some space. Can’t concentrate with you all breathing down my neck” she waved them back, reluctantly Dean retreated to the wall, half dragging Cas with him.

“Dean, I’m starting to think this was a bad idea.”

“It’s a bit late for that Cas.”

Ariela placed her hand on Chris’ forehead, her eyes tightly shut in concentration. After a moment her eyes flicked open again, she sat down heavily and picked up Chris’ wrist, her fingers finding the pulse point. Dean wasn’t positive, but Ariela looked pale.

“Well what’s wrong?” Cas demanded, Dean gripped the angel’s shoulder a little tighter. He didn’t like the way Ariela’s hands flitted over Chris, she looked confused, on the edge of panic.

“Just a moment seraph, this is taking a little longer than I thought, Now hush boys” Ariela cradled Chris’ face in her hands and closed her eyes again. The silence stretched on and on, Ariela’s face wrinkled with effort. Dean shivered, the room was getting colder as if something were sucking the heat out of the air. He could feel Cas quivering with tension under his restraining hand and pulled the angel a little closer, hoping Cas would understand he was trying to reassure him.

Just when Dean was starting to think that this was going to go on forever, there was a noise, wings again but smaller. He spun round drawing the angel blade he had stowed in his jacket.

“Jack, what the hell are you doing here? I told you to stay at Jody’s!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him?   
> This Chapter: Chris learns what Cas did. Angst, talk of dying implied sex

“Jack, what are you doing here” Cas shrugged off Dean’s restraining hand, he pulled Jack to the corner of the room furthest away from Ariela. Sam joined them his face reflecting Cas’ own worry.

“Jack, Dean told you to stay away.” The kid just looked at them both with his usual round eyed innocence.

“Dean said she was like me. I’ve never met anyone else like me. Besides I thought I could help.” Jack shuffled his feet and gave Cas a sulky stare. “And I was worried, you didn’t even call me”

“Oh Jack, I’m sorry. I should have told you what was going on.”

“Yes you should, one of you should have.”

“We were just trying to protect you Jack, you understand that right” Sam held his hands out in apology. Jack nodded and took a couple of steps towards Chris, Cas found himself suddenly worried about how Ariela would react and stood right behind his son, ready to defend him if necessary.

“Is that her,” Jack asked pointing.

“Yes”

“And who is she,” he demanded turning his attention to the archangel. Ariela had paused in her healing to stare at the interloper, her head tilted on one side, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Who might you be child?” Quick as a snake she stood up and crossed the floor. Cas resisted the urge to drag Jack away from her. She was looking Jack up and down, a strange smile curving her lips. “Are you Luci’s boy”

“Yes and No, I’m Jack.”

“That’s the right answer cherie” Ariela laughed, “well you look nothing like your daddy, which is something to be thankful for.” She extended a hand regally, “I’m your Aunty Ariela, I’m an archangel like your father,” Cas watched ready to spring as Jack shook Ariela’s hand. “Don’t worry flyboy, I’m not going to hurt your baby boy,” she winked at him.

“I’m really pleased to meet you Aunty”

“You are a polite young man, I take it Sam had a hand in your rearing. Couldn’t trust Thelma and Louise here to teach a child his manners, heathens both of them.”

“Well screw you too” Dean muttered from the corner.

“See what I mean, heathens” she drew Jack towards Chris, “Come meet your cousin, Her name is Christine.”

“Is it true, is she like me?” Jack was smiling his face fell as he saw how still Chris was. Cas rounded the desk and sat down next to Chris, he waited expecting to have to defend himself to Jack, but his son radiated sadness.

“She is very sick.” Jack whispered, he trailed a finger across her fore head.

“Yes Jack, she is” Ariela caught Cas’ eye, the hopelessness he saw there chilled him to the bone.

“Can you heal her” Cas asked, afraid of the answer.

“No Castiel I cannot, I’ve patched her up best I can, but my baby girl is dying” Cas let out a shuddering breath, don’t cry in front of the kid , he told himself sternly, but still his vision was blurry with tears when he looked for Dean. The hunter wasn’t there though, a grip on his shoulder told him Dean was already, as always standing beside him.

“Somebody must be able to fix her, we can’t just give up” Jack looked round at them all.

“your grand daddy could, if he was minded, but he never liked the idea of grand kids.”

“So, she is going to die,” Cas whispered hoarsely, it hurt to even say the words. “Why?” it was not so much a demand for an explanation as a general question for the universe. “Why!”

“It was the warding flyboy, I made it never to be broken, I warded her against her own powers as well as those who would hurt her. But I made it too well and when you broke it, it damaged her essence. She is leaking power like a sieve.”

“So it’s my fault,” Self loathing, never far away engulfed Cas like a flood. Ariela leaned across and touched his face.

“No Castiel, you saved my girl, I should have never have warded her. It’s my fault, don’t take my sin for yours” Cas nodded, but it did not lessen his guilt. “Like I said, I’ve patched her up, I don’t know how long-” Ariela stopped. Chris’ eyes had fluttered open, she sat up slowly.

“Cas, what happened to me?” he couldn’t help it, he wrapped his arms round her, pulling her against him, Chris buried her head in his shoulder. She was here, she was warm and alive again in his arms. “You’re here that’s all that matters” he muttered into her hair

“I had such bad dreams,” for a moment longer the illusion lasted. Then Chris stiffened in his arms, she pushed him away gently and her eyes fastened on Ariela. “I know you” her voice was dull, pained.

“Chris, my baby girl-”

“Don’t. You lied to me, my whole life. You lied to me”

“Baby, I was just trying to protect you. Won’t you come home now?”

“No”

“You can even bring the flyboy”

“I said no, you lied to me. Now go away” Chris’ eyes blazed, the power leaking in cracks around her eyes. Ariela stood up.

“Alright I’ll go, I am sorry, truly sorry.” She didn’t leave immediately, she gestured for Dean to join her. Cas watched as they exchanged a few words, before the archangel left in a storm of feathers. Dean returned an almost certainly false grin plastered on his face.

“So how you feeling now your mom’s done her mojo?” Cas liked that, Dean’s obvious concern.

“I’m tired Dean, feel like I’ve been in a fight.” she looked around her, a frown cresed her brow. “Why are we in a dungeon” Dean at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

“We didn’t want to take any chances, Chris you were screaming out on angel radio.” he exchanged glances with Cas’. “Tell you what, Sammy and Jack here will take you upstairs get you comfortable. You should eat and me and Cas will clear up down here. That sound okay to you?”

“Yes, I could eat”

“Okay good”

“Cas” she gripped him for a second, he dropped a kiss on to her hair and then another longer one on her lips.

“Go with Sam, I won’t be long.”

They watched Chris shuffle out with Sam on one side and Jack on the other. Once the dungeon door swung shut Dean stood up and stretched. “So Cas, what now?”

“Dean, she is dying, I’m going to lose her.”

“No you’re not buddy, we will find a way to fix this’” Dean sounded certain, Cas doubted his sincerity.

“Are you just trying to make me feel better” Cas asked, Dean pursed his lips.

“There’s always hope buddy, you know that.”

“Hope is a terrible thing on the scaffold Dean.”

“Maybe, but they haven’t hung us yet” Dean turned towards the door, he looked over his shoulder when he realised Cas was not following him.

“Before she left, what did Ariela say to you?” Dean didn’t respond immediately, he licked his lips and avoided Cas’ eyes the way he always did when he had to say something difficult.

“She told me to watch out for you two and to call her when it’s time.”

“Time for Chris to die?”

“Yeah, Cas. But we won’t need to call her, cause like I said, we will find a better way” Dean sounded so certain, Cas wished he could believe it himself. “C’mon Cas your lady is waiting for you.”

“Dean, I don’t know what to do.” Cas admitted, he looked away embarrassed.

“about what?”

“About Chris, Right now I don’t know what I am supposed to say to her, should I tell her?.”

“For now? Just go to her, she’s scared Cas. She needs you.”

“And tomorrow?”

“That’s tomorrow, for now just go and show her how glad you are she is back” Dean and clapped Cas on the shoulder. “Tomorrow we will worry about the other stuff.”

“But Dean-”

“Tomorrow Cas.”

 

It was dark and cold, the voices had returned, she could make them out muttering on the edge of her consciousness. She wanted to tell them to be quiet, but some instinct told her it would be better not to attract their attention. There was also the other thing, he was there staring into her eyes, his face full of lascivious vicious joy and her blood speckling his lips. It was as if he had crawled under her skin and was waiting for her there in the dark behind her eyes. She suppressed another sob, pushing it down to the growing tightness in her chest. She wanted very badly to scream, but she knew that if she started she wouldn’t stop. Some one was urgently calling her name in a panicked, scared voice. She ignored it, not real. Some thing grabbed her and all she could see was Asmodeus’ yellow eyes as he delicately lapped up her blood, Blinded by horror she struck out with her nails. It was Cas, his blue eyes staring at her in shock, four deep scratches down his cheek dripping blood where she had struck him.

“Cas, I’m sorry, oh god.” Chris realised she was sat up in bed, the sheets tangled round her body. She shivered, the cold of her dream still raising goosebumps on her skin.

“Its okay, you just had a nightmare,” Cas smiled at her sadly and dragged the blanket over her shoulders.

“I just wanted it to stop” she muttered, Cas didn’t answer. He kissed her forehead, she felt it then. His love, his fear of losing her. Carefully she touched his ravaged cheek and let the golden light pull the skin together smoothly.

“You don’t need to do that, you should conserve your strength.” he held her carefully, like she was made of glass, “I’m sorry.”

“Cas please don’t, I should have known Asmodeus would try something,” it was too much, Cas tried to turn away, Chris sensed his urge to run and gripped his trench coat stopping him, “Cas, please can you just-”

“Just what?”

“look at me choir boy. This was not your fault.” A wave of self hate overwhelmed him, she felt its insidious ripple spreading over everything. “Cas? Don’t do this now, I need you. I’m drowning here” Abruptly he clasped her against him, he was shaking, she stroked his hair.

“I should never of left you alone.”

“Then you would be dead, I thought you were for a while.” She brushed a tear from his cheek.

“I don’t know what to say to make things right.”

“Cas right now, you don’t have to. I want to stop thinking”

“I’m not sure how to achieve that.” He looked confused, Chris smiled and grabbed the knot of his tie.

“you sure about that blue eyes?” she crushed her mouth desperately against his, the sudden need to banish the lingering darkness, to wipe out the last few days took her by surprise. She kissed him deeply, hungrily, pushing the damned trench coat off his shoulders. Cas was holding back though his muscles were tense and stiff under her questing fingers.“What’s wrong?”

“Are you sure, you’ve been through a lot-” Chris sensed there was something more weighing on her angels mind, something terrible, she could see it in his eyes. He wanted her though, that was evident in the way his hand was gripping her hip and in other less subtle ways. She snagged his tie again and used it to draw him down until they were lying nose to nose.

“Don’t make me beg Choirboy, at least not yet” that earned her a smile, the slow seductive one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. He kissed her, hesitation gone.

“Oh you will beg-later”

Cas stretched lazily, he was lying on his back, one arm thrown over his head and the other curled possessively round Chris’ waist. He was enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling of being totally exhausted and refusing to think beyond this particular moment. “I thought I was going to make you beg” he said softly. Chris snuggled closer and peered at him through half closed eyes.

“Sometimes a girl has to turn the tables, can’t let you have it all your own way.” Her hand skimmed his inner thigh and he shivered.

“I love you” he told her, wanting to say it while he still could, loving the fact he could say it at all.

“I love you too choir boy” she murmured, hand coming to rest over his heart, he pulled her closer “You know what I miss most about about being human?”

“No” she whispered starting to drift off.

“Sleep” Cas let out a sigh “I found it the most difficult thing falling asleep, but I miss it now. Too sleep”

“perchance to dream?”

“Shakespeare? I get that reference.”

“Well be careful what you wish for, Hamlet ended up dead.” Cas went very quiet, he must have given some kind of out ward sign because Chris shook herself awake and he found himself trapped by that dark gaze.

“Cas, I know something is eating at you. Whats wrong?”

“Nothing” he lied, wanting to keep this little bit of heaven a while longer.

“Cas, baby don’t lie to me,” she knew something was wrong. He bit his lip, caught in the lie and lost for words. He couldn’t even look at her. Chris sat up, her face unreadable.

“Do you know what’s happening to me?”

“Yes.” he tried to hide the worry in his voice, unsuccessfully judging by the look Chris gave him.

“Cas, am I going to be ok?”

“I don’t know the answer to that.”

“I said don’t lie to me” She folded her arms and took a deep breath. “Tell me, what is going on Cas.” There was nothing for it, the last dregs of warmth, of happiness fled Cas’ heart, he couldn’t put it off any longer.

“You’re dying and I don’t know how to stop it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him? 
> 
> Canon divergent season 13, Angst, torture, pining, drinking, fluff, m/f sex, m/m sex (coming soon), wing kink, probable grace kink, hurt/comfort, grieving, canon violence. Talk of death and dying.
> 
> BI!Dean, Bi!Cas, Done!Sam, main character OC (not a reader insert) Various other OC’s
> 
> Characters mentioned/present: lost track, most of them probably.
> 
> This chapter, mild sex, grace kink (abit) usual angst, talk of death.

Cas knew he should say something, try and comfort her somehow, though he couldn’t find the words. Chris slipped out of bed and pulled on an old t-shirt of Jack’s, her movements jerky. He could hear her breathing slowly, deeply trying to hold herself together. “Chris” he got no further than her name, she held up a hand silencing him.

“Just give me a minute blue eyes” She set her hands on the dresser and stared at her reflection in the mirror. “I thought Ariela- I suppose I have to call her Mom now, I thought she fixed me.”

“Um, she tried, but the damage is extensive all she could do was patch you up.” He wanted to hold her, but something in her manner told him that wasn’t what she wanted right now. Silence lay heavily between them as she considered his words.

“How did this happened Cas? Because Asmodeus didn’t do much to me, he wanted me alive.” She finally faced him, her golden glowing gaze pinned him in place and he knew she sensed his guilt. There was no way to soften the blow, he would have to tell her the truth.

“Its my fault, Ariela warded you on a quantum level, when I broke it-”

“When you broke it, you broke me” Chris laughed, it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Did you know, this would happen?”

“Of Course not,” Cas got up and padded towards her, wary of the heavenly anger still shining in her eyes. “You know me” He smiled to him self, “Better than anyone, do you think I could hurt you?” He cupped her chin in his hand and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Choirboy,” she muttered, Cas heard the suppressed sob in her voice, her fingers stroked his hair.

“Its going to be alright, everything will be fine” He tried to sound certain.

“Don’t lie to me Cas”

“Chris I will find a way, I promise-” She pulled back and looked him in the eye.

“You don’t believe there is one”

“Chris, that’s not true”

“No it is, I can feel you Cas” She stroked his jaw with trembling fingers. “I’m not ready to die, I won’t.” She pushed him away and angrily pulled on a pair of Jack’s jeans. She stared at him a moment, looking somehow smaller in his son’s baggy clothes. “I won’t die Cas”

“Where are you going?” She didn’t answer and the door slammed as she left.

After pulling on pants and his shirt, he found her in the library still visibly angry, pulling books from the shelves and slamming them down on the table. She had pulled several cards from the index and left them strewn about the floor. Cas forbore to comment, knowing Sam would be pissed, he was OCD about the bunkers filing system. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like.” she flipped a book open and rifled through its pages, before shutting the cover with a frustrated snap.

“you have a sudden need for reading material?”

“Really Cas?” She glared at him across the table, clearly it was not the time for levity. “I need to find out what is happening to me, are you going to help or make stupid jokes.”

“Chris, Calm down” the moment it was out of his mouth he realised his choice of words was poor.

“Calm down?” she repeated derisively, “You are telling me to calm down? I’m dying!” She took a breath.

“I know, I know. Please just stop, for a second,” Feeling doltish, Cas realised this wasn’t anger, this was fear.

“I don’t have time to stop, there must be something useful in this place” She pulled another book from the pile next to her. Cas approached her cautiously, he was at a loss to deal with the current situation. He took the book from her and took her hands in his, kissing the knuckles.

“Your fingers are cold”

“I can feel it, there’s a wrongness, here” She thumped her chest.

“What does it feel like?”

“Tension, like something’s building inside me.” She flexed her hands, golden light shone under her skin for a second before vanishing. Cas watched it flicker and die in dismay, a hazy memory from long ago poked at him, I’ve seen this before.

“Let me see” He asked softly and placed two fingers on her forehead. He saw then, what he had missed before. Her grace was trying to repair her vessel, but there was no control, no regulation and the power was building up. Cas snatched his hand away as if scolded, he couldn’t meet her eyes.

“What is it”

“Nothing”

“That’s not a ‘nothing’ look” she grabbed his chin and made him face at her. “This isn’t the first time you have seen this is it, I remember now.” She searched his face, he could almost feel her scrabbling for the shared memory. “There was someone like me, long ago, I can’t quite-”

“Yes, a nephilim, one of the last. Semerkhet, he was a pharaoh” Cas closed his eyes, suddenly he didn’t want to remember, he heard Chris take a sharp breath as she made sense of the jumbled images.

“They tried to bind him, but it didn’t work and he burned.”

“Yes”

“He burned for days” panic and horror in her voice, he tried to hold her as much for his own reassurance as hers, but she backed away. “How could you not tell me this!”

“I didn’t remember, some of my past is lost to me, its just bits and pieces. Images without context.”

“Because of what Naomi did to you.”

“Yes” he admitted, dropping into a chair dejectedly.

“But it’s not just that, is it?” there was an edge to her voice. Cas ran his tongue over his dry lips and made himself answer her.

“No, sometimes I don’t want to remember. I’m not that Castiel anymore, I’m not that soldier. The things I did back then-” He stopped, Chris’ arms round his shoulders her cheek pressed against his.

“Not your fault” she whispered in his ear.

“Maybe not entirely but it was my choice. I always seem to make the wrong one” he paused and stroked her forearm.”And now I don’t know how to save you” he felt her arms slip away, she sat down next to him and sighed.

“Cas I’m sorry I’m just scared, I am so scared.” she grabbed the front of his shirt, twisting her fingers in the material and surprising him by planting her lips firmly on his. Her mouth was hot and wet. She tasted sweet, how do you always taste so good? The thought was fleeting, lost as her tongue curled round his. Cas pulled her into his lap, he could feel her urgency now. Her hands glided down his back and he tightened his grip.

“uhh guys” Sam stood by the kitchen doorway red faced, Dean was leaning against a wall beer in hand, grinning he raised it in mock salute.

“what’s this? Dinner and a show!” Dean was grinning. Cas froze, blood flooding his face, he looked at Chris whose cheeks had gone a bright hot pink.

“Sorry guys” Cas let go of Chris, she slipped off his knee and stood behind him fingers resting lightly, almost possessively on his shoulder.

“No by all means carry on, we wouldn’t want to interrupt, ain’t that right Sam?”

“Well you might learn a thing or two Deano” Chris countered, Cas noticed she was smiling at Dean. Chuckling to him self, Dean hitched himself up on the table.

“So how are you feeling.”

“Better than I probably should, thanks Dean”

Dean turned his attention back to Cas, who became uncomfortably aware that his shirt was unbuttoned, his feet were bare and the swelling in his pants was still noticeable. Dean noticed, because of course he did, Cas looked away embarrassed as an amused grin slid across Deans face.

“I’d ask how you are Cas, but it’s kind of obvious,” he waggled his eyebrows, Cas dragged his chair under the table.

“I’m fine Dean.” Cas made himself straighten up, he glanced up at Chris. “Have you managed to find anything that might help,” Deans turn to look away.

“No Cas, not yet” Sam answered, he approached the table and sat down. “I’m sorry, Chris .But I’ll keep looking, there must be something right?” Cas felt her fingers spasm, gripping his shoulder tighter.

“Guys, there’s something you need to know” Chris’ voice was flat, all her earlier humour gone.

“Chris-”

“No Cas, they need to know,” he heard the sharp breath she took to calm herself and reached up covering her fingers with his own.

“Need to know what?” Sam leaning forward his face creased with concern.

“I’m not just going to die Sam, I’m going to burn. I’ll burn for days, I can’t be near any of you when that happens.” Both Dean and Sam looked appalled, Cas stood up and took her by the shoulders.

“It’s not going to happen, we are not letting this happen! Are we?” Cas turned to his friends aware of the pleading tone in his voice and not caring,.

“Damn straight Cas, not happening” Dean nodded, Chris bowed her head.

“There may not be anything you can do. You all heard what Ariela said only God can fix me and I don’t think Grand-daddy is all that interested.”

“Chris, there will be another way,” Sam again, “there is always a better way.”

“Sam the last time this happened, when Semerkhet burned, it turned the land into a desert- the Sahara desert.” Cas saw the shiver she tried to hide as the golden light briefly flared under her skin again. “I need to lie down for a while. You need to decide where you are going to take me, I need to be as far away from people as I can.” Shaking now, She pulled away from Cas.“I’m not a damsel in distress, I’m a hunter. I can decide for myself” She thumped her chest and Cas saw tears in her eyes.

“Chris, no one is saying you can’t decide-” Sam rising from his seat, trying to sound conciliatory, but coming off a little patronising.

“And I’ll kill Asmodeus, then at least I will have done one good thing” Cas stared at her in shock, she meant it he could tell.

“You can’t, Chris you are too weak” The words bubbled out of him in a rush, instantly he regretted them. “I didn’t mean-”

“I know what you meant” she growled at him. Unsteadily she headed for the corridor nearly colliding with Jack, who gave her a surprised smile. “Out of the way kid” she pushed past him.

“Smooth Cas, real smooth.” Dean shook his head and sat back down swinging his booted feet up on the table.

“Guys I don’t have a clue what I am doing here, What do I do now?” he looked at Dean, who shrugged.

“What’s going on?” Jack looked confused, Internally Cas sighed right now he didn’t want to talk to Jack about any of this, he didn’t even really know where he should start.

“Jack come and sit, while I tell Cas here why he is a dumbass” Dean pulled out the chair next to him

“Cas apologise.” Sam sighed.

“But I didn’t do anything wrong at least not on purpose.” Dean rolled his eyes at that statement.

“Cas buddy, your girlfriend might die and you basically told her that she is weak and to calm down” Dean folded his arms and raised an eyebrow at him “You’re lucky to be alive.” Cas couldn’t help shooting Dean a look of pure anger.

“That’s not what I meant”

“Doesn’t matter, she has been through hell the last few days and you are treating her like a kid. It’s going to take more than chocolate and flowers.”

“Thanks Dean, I was unaware of how much I had messed up, until you used all that sarcasm to point it out.”

“Look Cas, go and say you are sorry.”

 

Cas was stood behind her he had not knocked just opened the door silently and stood there waiting for her to acknowledge his existence, she could feel his gaze on the back of her neck. “I promise I’ll be home soon, then we can talk.” she pressed the phone closer to her ear.

“I ain’t happy with you staying there baby girl” Her aunt sounded angry. Chris felt her own annoyance overflow. She tightened the towel round her waist.

“Well maybe if you had been straight with me from the beginning, I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“That’s not fair child, I was trying to protect you.”

“Well I have had my fill of people ‘protecting’ me . I have to go Cas is here.”

“For the love of my father, come away from him Chris. Before-” Chris cut the call off savagely, the phone banged loudly on the dressing table. She picked up the brush up and resumed brushing her hair refusing to meet his eyes even in the mirror. Eventually her patience ran out, “What do you want Choir boy?”

“To say I’m sorry, I’m not good at this. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad” Chris risked a glance at his reflection, utter dejection. She bit her lip, feeling guilty over her angry reaction and knowing where that anger came from. She was going to die.

“I’m not weak Cas. Maybe, I over reacted, please tell me you understand why.”She wasn’t sure what she expected him to say. Cas’ stepped forward, hesitantly he stroked her hair, his hand coming to a tentative stop on her bare shoulder.

“I understand, I was wrong. I am so sorry.” Chris reached over her shoulder and patted his hand, his response was to curl his arm around her waist. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us Cas.”

“Lets not worry about that, right now” he lifted her hair out of the way and kissed the nape of her neck. “I’m sorry.” he kissed her again just below her ear. “I’m sorry” another kiss where her shoulder met her neck, She sighed.

“Tell me you came up with this apology yourself.”

“Well I knew chocolate wouldn’t cut it.”she saw his shy smile reflected in the mirror as he dropped another touch of his lips to her shoulder. The jolt was electric, she leaned back wanting him to press his lips there longer. He obliged “I love you, never doubt it, I won’t let you die” She turned in his arms.

“Don’t make promises blue eyes.” she regarded him with a frank gaze.

“Chris, please.” An edge of pain in his voice, consternation filling those sea deep eyes. She laid a finger over his lips.

“Just hush choirboy.” She kissed him slowly, almost painfully. Fingers sliding through his hair, stroking down his neck and across his shoulders. It was hard to hold back, but she made herself take her time, burn each caress into her memory. Cas pulled her closer, hands gripping her hips tight enough to bruise. He had slowed down too, perhaps sensing this time was different, each kiss a little self contained supernova against her skin. She pushed him away a little and began unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes never left her face. A kiss to the chest for each button she slid from its hole, his skin tasted of salty seas and long ago skies. She could see the shape of his grace now, bent and twisted but still silvery blue moonlight on an ancient ocean. She reached out to touch it with her own coalescing light, gold as the sun when it was first born. Cas lifted her smoothly onto the dressing table, she could feel his heart hammering under the fingers she spread against the smooth muscles of his stomach. His need reached out to her, she kissed him deeply. Throwing her grace against his, she saw his broken wings one second arched above, the next cradling her in silvery cosmic fire, his eyes were alight with the same radiance. Something woke in her, she pulled him inside. No not even that he was just there, she locked her legs around his waist. The power was there again whispering to her, then a moment like fire. She felt him reach for her, they were one thing for an instant. Her being saw his, and golden light filled their joined perception-Chris closed her new wings over his, tears starting from her eyes. She cradled Cas against her chest, feeling everything all at once. Knowing as well that small secret part of himself he didn’t ever talk about. He said her name softly.

“Go to sleep Cas, Beregida” she whispered kissing his forehead softly, he went lax in her arms. With newly discovered strength she laid him in the bed, pulling the covers round gently. “I have to go. I love you blue eyes” She picked up his trench coat and slipped it on. “But I think I am going to have to save myself, I need to go home.” Home, she thought and closed her eyes.

“Its about damned time child, what time do you call this?” Asasa stood by the counter looking angry.

“I’m home now.”

“And the fly boy?”

“Sleeping.” She tapped her fingers on the counter, “well..Mom, tell me about my Grand-Daddy”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him? 
> 
> Canon divergent season 13, Angst, torture, pining, drinking, fluff, m/f sex, m/m sex (coming soon), wing kink, probable grace kink, hurt/comfort, grieving, canon violence. Talk of death and dying.
> 
> BI!Dean, Bi!Cas, Done!Sam, main character OC (not a reader insert) Various other OC’s
> 
> Characters mentioned/present: lost track, most of them probably.
> 
> This chapter, a lot of angst and violence, chuck makes things worse, chris learns a thing

“You want to know about your grandfather, read the bible it’s all in there-well the highlights anyway” Ariela snorted.

“That is not what I asked for”

“Maybe, but it’s all you’re gonna get, you stay away from your Grandaddy, he will kill you on sight.”

“Tell me where he is!”

“I don’t know and I wouldn’t tell you if I did.” Ariela reached out and caressed her cheek. “Baby girl please, let me help you”

“I already said no, I won’t let you take my power, I won’t be defenceless.”

“But you will be alive, you would live”

“For how long? I won’t end up like Sarah”

“Chris you aren’t thinking straight, I’ll protect you, I promise-”

“No I do not need your protection and I will save myself!”

Chris was angrier than she had ever been, Asasa began to walk away from her. Chris strode across the room and grabbed her mom’s arm, “Tell me how to find him!” She let her eyes blaze and her wings appear. Asasa snarled at her, her eyes lit with fire, wings materialising above her head. She moved like a snake and threw Chris to the floor, pinning her like a falcon does it’s prey.

“Enough! You are young and stupid,” Ariela hissed. “So I will forgive you.”

“I don’t need your pardon” Chris flapped her wings, twisted her body, reached up and snatched Ariela’s blade from its sheath. The archangel scrambled backwards in sudden panic, Chris advanced on her mother trapping her against the counter. She tested the weight of the long blade nonchalantly, almost smiling.

“There’s power in this sword, much more than in a normal angel blade” Chris placed the point under Ariela’s chin, “Why is that?”

“It’s an archangels sword, my brothers they needed to be kept in line. So Daddy gave me that”

“Interesting, so it could kill you?”

“In theory”

“I’d rather not test that, so tell me where is he hiding” Chris applied a little pressure, a droplet of blood welled up and trickled down Ariela’s chin, Chris felt a spurt of regret and repressed it instantly. No distractions, no empathy, one goal; not to die. She tried not to think about what Cas would make of her actions, choirboy I miss you.

“I told you ,I don’t know!”Ariela was pleading with her, Chris could see the desperation in her eyes.

“Okay, say I believe you who would know?”

“They are all dead, even Gabriel.” Ariela was openly sobbing now. Chris drew back a little, the mention of the archangels name had caused a shiver in the air.

“Don’t be too sure” Chris cocked her head listening hard to the soft whispers of the angels in her head, there it was again a tremulous, almost non-existent whispered scream. She took a step back smiling. “found him, Gabriel that is”

“Baby girl, please, don’t hurt him,” Asasa stretched out her hand imploringly.

“Whatever happens now, it’s your own fault Mom” Chris spat at the prone angel. Ariela tried to detain her as she swept past, Chris ignored her and blundered out the door escaping into the rain drenched street. The tightness in her chest was growing, the pain growing exponentially. She wanted to scream, to bawl at the universe. Her distress must have shown on her face because an old lady, hurrying through the down pour stopped and touched her shoulder.

“are you okay sugar?”

“Yes I’m fine, thank you Ma’am.” The woman didn’t look convinced she directed a baleful stare at the window of Asasa’s hoodoo shop.

“You want to stay away from these places, they are ungodly.”, for some reason the woman’s comment struck Chris as funny and she smothered a laugh.

“I’ll think you’ll find, you are quite wrong in this case.” No longer caring, she let her wings flare briefly. The woman backed up a step, hands covering her mouth. Chris grinned at her and vanished.

 

Cas could smell the sea, that sharp iodine smell. He blinked his eyes and looked down at his bare feet, toes sinking into black sand. A small wave broke sending foam racing towards his naked skin, the first touch of the ice cold water sent him hopping gracelessly backwards. Some one chuckled, Cas spun round searching for the source of the sound, there was nothing. Just the black beach and the empty horizon of the shining sea. No other sound, not even a gull, just the rush of the waves against the sand. He made himself take a breath and examine where he was, beach, sea and mountains behind him. It all felt real and yet it seemed wrong, like the nightmares he had suffered when he was human. He scooped a hand full of wet sand and let the gritty stuff dribble between his fingers. This time it was a sigh that echoed on the wind, Cas rubbed his hand clean on his trench-the confusion was giving way to anger. “I know you are there” he noticed then, the sun was moving too swiftly. It had been daylight when he arrived, now the sun was dipping towards the horizon. Even as he watched, it set in a sea of fire while behind him night engulfed the mountains. “Why did you bring me here!” shouting, feeling impotent he strode up and down the beach.

“Hello, son” Cas stopped and let out a groan. “Whats the matter, not pleased to see the old man?” Chuck was stood behind him, eating frozen yogurt from a large tub, he held out the spoon to Cas smiling. “you want some?, it’s banana and chocolate” Cas knocked the spoon away and took a step forward.

“What am I doing here?”

“Woah, it’s ok” Chuck held up his hands, “I’m sensing a little stress here, So just take a moment Cas and breath alright” Chuck snapped his fingers, produced another spoon and tucked back into his frozen treat. Cas’ anger was fading, replaced by a faint glow of hope.

“Is this a real place?” Cas gestured to the world around them. Chuck nodded vigorously managing to drip yogurt down his green hoody, he scrubbed at it ineffectually for a second before giving up and looking Cas in the eye.

“It’s real, nowhere near earth, but real. You aren’t really here of course, you are asleep in the bunker” Chuck paused and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Where your girlfriend left you”

“You know about that” Cas dropped his gaze, his cheeks hot.

“Well I am God” the lord of all creation shrugged and spooned yet more yogurt into his mouth. “Are you sure you don’t want any? it’s good”,Chuck waggled the spoon from side to side “you’re going to really like it” he added in a sing song voice. Cas took a breath trying not to let his frustration show, sometimes talking to Chuck was exasperating.

“Can we please talk about Chris?”

“What about her?”

“Can you fix her?”

“Of course I can. That’s not the right question though.” The yogurt was all gone, disappointed Chuck scraped at the bottom of the tub ineffectively for a moment then snapped his fingers, refilling it. He flashed Cas a grin, “mmm raspberry this time”.

“Can you focus for one second!” Cas growled, irritated beyond measure he had to stop himself from knocking the tub out of Chucks hand.

“Is that any way to talk to your father?” Chuck took a step forward. Cas felt a rush of fear, but he didn’t back down.

“Will you fix her?”

“No” A single word, like a tombstone clanging down. Chuck turned to watch the sun as it climbed back over the mountains. “Lovely sunrises here, one every twenty minutes.” Cas didn’t reply, the little spark of hope he had carried in his heart died.

“Please,” he was begging unashamedly.

“Son, I said no.”

“I have never asked you for anything-”

“Well that’s not quite true is it?” Chuck glared at him, Cas pulled himself up straight meeting his father’s gaze without flinching.

“Save her, she has done nothing to deserve this.” Cas snarled.

“no, you may be able to save her, but the price is going to be high” Chuck shook his head, “you are going to have to choose Cas and I don’t envy you that”

“What is that supposed to mean”

“You’ll find out, but understand this, she is dangerous and one way or another I want her off the board. If you don’t do it then I will.” Chuck sauntered over and smacked him on the forehead.

He woke up naked, shivering and alone, Chris was gone. He lay there staring at the ceiling for a moment, thinking furiously. Then he understood, he knew what he had to do. He pulled on his clothes, adjusting his tie in the mirror and avoiding his own eyes, knowing the inherent wrongness of what he was planning. Cas stalked his way through the corridors until he found Dean reading a book in the kitchen.

“Whats up Cas, where’s my favourite girl?”

“She is gone, she left. But its okay, I know how we can save her”

“What do you mean Chris is gone? Gone where?”Dean demanded. Cas paced the length of the kitchen, he was having trouble thinking clearly. Worry for Chris clouded everything, he couldn’t string together a coherent sentence.

“Cas! What the hell is going on!” Dean shouted he sprang up and grabbed Cas forcing him to meet his gaze. “Where is Chris?”

“She’s gone, she knocked me out and left” Cas’ breath caught in his chest, he forced the pain back down, something must have shown on his face though. Dean’s expression softened Cas heard him sigh.

“Okay buddy I think you need to sit down”

“No we need to find her, I have to extract her grace, its the only way” Cas was aware he was talking too fast. Dean just stared at him for a second before pushing him into a chair and sitting down opposite him.

“just hang on a second.” Dean rubbed his face tiredly, “You want to do what?”

“Extract her grace, it’s our only hope of saving her”

“And that will stop her exploding?” Dean looked sceptical.

“Yes, I think so” Cas clasped his hands together in his lap.

“Okay, so what’s the catch? C’mon Cas I can read you like a book, what is it you are not telling me?” Dean carefully retrieved his novel inserted a bookmark and laid it aside. He leaned across the table. “I’m assuming it must be bad, since you won’t even look at me.” Cas shifted in his seat and ran the tip of his tongue over suddenly dry lips.

“I don’t think Chris will give up her grace willingly, obviously I’ll give her the choice. This is the only way to save her.” There he had said it, he risked a look at Dean, who sighed and sat back in his chair.

“Cas, that’s messed up.”

“You’re right and she will never forgive me, but she will be alive.” Dean looked sceptical, Cas paused for a second before adding. “There is no other way, the last time this happened the nephilim was the child of an ordinary angel, Chris is the daughter of an archangel. There may be no safe distance.”

“No safe distance from what?” Sam wandered in and extracted a beer from the fridge.

“From Cas’ exploding girlfriend!” Dean snapped, he stood up and stretched. “Cas has a plan, he wants to force Chris to give up her grace.”

“That’s messed up.”

“That’s what I said” Dean snagged Sam’s beer, earning a look of mild annoyance from his brother. “My need is greater,” he took a swig and turned back to Cas. “We can’t do this to her buddy.”

“Dean we don’t have a choice, I don’t have a choice!”

“Cas, c’mon we will find a better way.” Sam crossed the room in quick strides and squeezed Cas’ shoulder. Cas shook him off, frustrated and hating himself for what he had to do.

“you don’t understand” he growled, “If we don’t save her, she is dead anyway”

“Cas, what the hell are you talking about”

“Chuck..he told me”

“he told you what?” Dean was staring at him in alarm.

“If we don’t take care of it, he will.” Cas admitted, “whatever I do, I’m going to lose her.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way home from sioux falls Cas stops in a bar and meets a curiously familiar stranger, someone who will turn his life and his understanding of the world upside down. But Cas loves Dean, Can an angel love two people? must he choose? or will events take the choice from him? 
> 
> Canon divergent season 13, Angst, torture, pining, drinking, fluff, m/f sex, m/m sex (coming soon), wing kink, probable grace kink, hurt/comfort, grieving, canon violence. Talk of death and dying.
> 
> BI!Dean, Bi!Cas, Done!Sam, main character OC (not a reader insert) Various other OC’s

“And when exactly did Chuck tell you he was going to kill your girlfriend?” Dean found he was shaking his head, just how much more weird could their lives get? Cas looked sheepish.  
“He came to me in a dream.”  
“So let me get this straight, your Dad came to you in a dream and told you he will kill Chris.” Dean took a swig of beer, wondering if 11 Am really was to early to break out the whisky.  
“Dean, I’m not lying to you!” Cas was annoyed, Dean could tell by the way the angels eyes narrowed.  
“I know Cas, I know.” Dean mumbled, he had to look away. The intensity of that gaze always made his throat go dry. Not for the first time, he wondered if Cas had had the same reaction while staring into Chris’ eyes and the jolt of pure jealousy the thought inspired took him by surprise. Sam sat down at the table and shot Dean a ‘shut the hell up’ glare.   
“Okay Cas, but did Chuck tell you why?”  
“He said that she was too powerful, too dangerous. Guys if we don’t find a way to trap her and extract her grace, God will kill her”  
“Before she explodes and takes half the planet with her” Sam added. Dean shifted in his chair he knew that tone, Sam was blaming himself.  
“Yes”   
“Cas I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have encouraged you,” Dean could practically feel the guilt radiating off his little brother.   
“Sam, Shut up this isn’t your fault” Dean stood up and placed his hands on the table. Sam gaped at him, Cas said nothing just stared down into his lap. “And it’s not your fault either Cas, you couldn’t have known how things were going to turn out. Though maybe next time take my advice and date a stripper.”  
“I don’t think there will be a next time Dean, my judgement has clearly been impaired.” Dean felt his heart sink a little, Cas seemed completely disconsolate and Dean couldn’t stand it.  
“Look Cas, you’re in love” the word came out grudgingly, “your judgement is supposed to be impaired, you are supposed to act like a moron.”  
“You think I’m a moron?” It was said seriously, but Dean saw the ghost of a smile tugging at Cas’ lips.   
“A little yes.” Dean made himself smile at Cas then sank back into his chair and ignoring Sam’s look of horror, thumped his booted feet on to the table top.  
“So what are we going to do? We need to find Chris and quickly” Sam, always needing a plan.   
“Cas you got your phone?”  
“Yes, obviously”  
“Then call her, give her the choice, tell her what Chuck is planning.” Sam and Cas were both staring at him as if he had grown an extra head.  
“I don’t think that’s the best idea Dean, we don’t know how she will react” Sam shook his head and frowned at him.  
“Sam’s right, we shouldn’t provoke her. Chris can be very uh, impulsive,” Cas smiled to himself at some memory, Dean guessed. “It was one of the things I liked about her.” Dean groaned internally.  
“You see now I think you are a moron, in fact I’m wondering how either of you have ever managed to get laid” He ignored the hurt look Sam threw him and scrubbed his cheeks tiredly, he needed a shave he realised. “Cas just call her, talk to her. If she really cares about you, there’s a chance she will listen and if not,” he held his hands up “at least we will have given her a chance.”  
“Alright” Cas reluctantly pulled his cell from his pocket.

Chris stared into her beer watching the bubbles rise and pop endlessly, this time the bar keeper had left her alone. Though the local drunk, the same one who had been there the day she met Cas, had needed a little more firm persuasion. She could hear him gabbling mindlessly to himself in a corner. Chris knew she should feel bad about shredding the man’s sanity, but the rising power crushing her chest whispered that it didn’t matter, none of it really mattered. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, she pulled it out and stared at the caller ID. Her finger hovered over the cut off, her breath quickened. “Not now, Choirboy” she whispered to herself. The phone continued to buzz until her voicemail kicked in, she sighed in relief, as if passing a test.

In the bunker Cas looked at Dean miserably “it went to voicemail”  
“Try again”

As her phone started ringing again, Chris resisted the urge to throw the damned thing against the wall. ‘You need to hear his voice’ some traitorous part of her muttered and she gave in. “Hello, Cas”  
“Chris?”  
“Yeah it’s me”  
“Are you alright?” The concern in his voice made her eyes prickle with tears, ‘what am I doing?’ she asked herself.  
“No Cas, I’m not alright, but I’m keeping it together.” she paused swallowing the sudden lump in her throat. “Everything will be fine, you’ll see”  
“And if it isn’t fine?” his tone pleaded with her.  
“Then I’ll go far away, I won’t hurt you Cas.”  
“Chris you don’t understand, there is nowhere you can go” Chris could hear the panic underlying his words now.  
“What do you mean choirboy?”  
“He told me, God told me that he will kill you if -”  
“If you don’t take my grace.” Chris bit her lip, aware that the barkeeper was giving her a strange look, she stared back him and let her eyes glow. One look was all it took, he scuttled out the door as fast as his legs could carry him.  
“Chris please come home let us fix this.” More than anything she wanted to say yes, to fly home, throw herself into his arms and be safe, but that was childish. The power rising up inside her told another, bloodier story would be the result.  
“I can’t, I’m sorry”  
“Why?”   
“Because I can stop it and I won’t let anyone stop me”  
“Chris you are not making any sense, stop what?” Back in the bunker Cas exchanged worried looks with Sam and Dean.  
“I’m sorry blue eyes, remember what I told you when we first met?”  
“Chris please-”  
“That sometimes you need to stop scratching before you make things bleed? well sometimes you need to cauterise that wound before it gets infected.”  
In the bunker Dean snatched the phone from Cas “Chris what the hell are you talking about!”  
“you’ll see Deano, I love you boys, try and stay out of my way.” she cut the call and smiled to herself, so he was after her was he? Good that just made things easier. 

Silence reigned in the bunker broken only by a click as Dean put Cas’ phone down on the table. “Cas, I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, but I think it’s fair to say Chris has gone off the reservation.” Dean felt bad saying it, but what the hell was he supposed to say?   
“Yes I know” Cas was hunched on his chair not looking at eithier of them.  
“What do you want to do Cas?” Sam asked gently.  
“We extract her grace, I don’t like it, but at least she will be alive.”   
“Okay” Dean nodded, “But Cas, I can’t ask you to do it. I’ll do it”  
“Dean, No!”  
“Cas, it’s going to hurt her, it may even still kill her. I won’t ask you to do that to someone you care about.” For a moment, Cas looked like he was going to argue, then to Dean’s discomfort gratitude shone in the angels eyes.  
“Thank-you, Dean” Cas rubbed his forehead and his gaze seemed to turn inward, then his eyes flicked back to Dean ,“I know where she is”  
“What! how?” Sam demanded.  
Cas stood up shrugging his trench coat straight and adjusting his tie, “Something she said about when we first met-” Dean heard the tremble in Cas’ voice, the angel looked down at his feet, “It’s not far from here, I think she’s there.”  
“We should gear up” Sam practically jumped out of his chair, Dean gestured to him to go. As his brothers footsteps faded into the distance, Dean took Cas by the shoulders and made his friend look him in the eye.  
“Are you sure about this Cas?”  
“Yes” A lie, Dean knew by the way Cas’ fingers convulsively gripped his wrist.  
“Okay buddy, I told you I’ll take care of it.” He let go of Cas’ shoulders and forced a smile, “Now come on let’s go get our other feathered idiot and drag her ass home, alright?”

“So this is where you two had your first date ?” Sam was giving the exterior of the bar a disapproving look, Cas tried not to glare at him.  
“yes”  
“Nice Cas, classy.” Sam was trying to lighten the mood, Cas wished he wouldn’t. Sometimes he thought humanity needed to learn when to shut up.  
“take no notice Cas, this would be just my kind of place,” Dean nudged his shoulder and winked. “Everybody ready?” Cas growled. Sam nodded and held up some angel cuffs.  
The door opened at a touch, Cas walked in first, angel blade held ready, Chris was stood behind the bar pulling a beer. She glanced up smiled at him and held up a finger.  
“Just one second choirboy, nearly done here” Cas took a few steps forward, aware of Dean and Sam following him. Chris topped off the beer and placed it next to the three she had already poured. “I knew you would be coming, so I got you a beer.”  
“Chris, I love you please stop this” Cas held out his hand, she looked at him for a long moment then snapped her fingers. She reappeared in front of him and reached for his out stretched hand.  
“I love you too, Cas” Her fingers curled round his, he gripped her hand tightly and pulled her against him.  
“Then let me help you, please” their eyes locked, her eyes glistened with tears, Cas felt her fingers wander along his jaw.  
“No,” The barest shake of her head, he kissed her and then felt her stiffen in his arms as Dean jammed the grace extraction needle into her neck, at the same time there was a snick as Sam closed the angel cuffs over her wrists. Cas tightened his grip as Chris writhed in his arms, screaming in betrayal.  
“Cas hold her still!, she is going to hurt herself” Dean shouted at him.  
“NO!” Chris screamed and headbutted him, he let go the impact knocking him backwards. Chris ripped the needle from her neck, blood spread unheeded in its wake. She snapped the angel cuffs from her wrist, turned and grabbed Dean and threw him over the bar. Only Sam was left standing, he was backing away from Chris, an angel blade held in front of him. Cas stood up and lurched in front of Sam.  
“Don’t”  
“Cas, why?”  
“because you need to stop, please just stop. This isn’t you!” a last chance, Cas saw her hesitate. “He is going to pay, for all of it”  
“who Chris?”  
“God, it’s his fault. All of it.” Cas didn’t know what to say, Chris watched him closely. “I’m going to punish him.”   
“We can’t let you do that.” Dean dragging himself over the bar and pointing a gun at Chris, “Angel killing bullets, won’t kill you, but will slow you down.” Chris shook her head sadly, she glanced at Cas.  
“I don’t think so Dean,” a bolt of lightening crackled from her fingers, hitting Dean square in the chest. Dean’s face contorted in agony under the barrage, Sam lunged at her and was thrown aside.   
“Chris you’ll kill him!”  
“Why shouldn’t I Cas ? you hurt me ,I hurt you” she twisted her hand and Dean sagged to his knees. “That’s what we are now, right?”  
“No, don’t do this”  
“Why not flyboy?” Chris’ eyes flashed even brighter, Cas dropped his weapon.  
“You know why, you know me.” He admitted, Chris stared at her feet.  
“You are right Cas, I do.” She dropped her hand and Dean collapsed to the floor, “and I said I wouldn’t hurt you” she glanced over her shoulder at the stricken hunter. “goodbye Cas” she vanished.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW, Cas and Dean make their lives more complicated, Chris searches for a way to heal herself.

Sam was groaning, Cas grabbed him and pulled him to his feet, leaving him to lean against the bar and hold his head. Cas staggered over to Dean, dreading at what he might find, the hunter was so still. “Dean” He dropped to his knees and touched Dean’s face gingerly. Coldness settled in Cas’ heart as he inspected Dean’s injuries, Chris had ripped him apart. He pulled the lax body against him, and sent his grace winging through Dean, knitting his hurts together and biding his spirit back in his body.  
Sam took a step forward “Dean?”Dean woke with a start, coughing, Cas gripped his shoulders. “Dean? Are you alright?”  
“I’ve been better, Cas.”  
“I thought I lost you,” Cas realised pure desperation was behind that statement and the way Dean’s eyes went wide made him instantly regret it. He helped Dean to his feet and backed away as Sam embraced his brother, then it hit him. He had lost Chris, what ever it was that they had, was gone now. He had done it, destroyed and twisted her, just like he had done to everything he loved and she had nearly killed Dean. Dean didn’t seem to notice his consternation.  
“Told you we should have brought Jack” Dean muttered, “Cas are you okay?” Cas couldn’t answer him, couldn’t even meet Dean’s gaze. “Cas, buddy?”  
“She nearly killed you,” Cas tried to keep his voice from cracking, but it still shook. Dean frowned and took a step closer.  
“But she didn’t man, I’m alright.”  
“you don’t understand, what she did to you-” Cas clenched his fists, “It was vicious Dean, she shredded you. She didn’t have to be that violent, she could have ended you with a thought. She wanted to hurt me.”  
“I get that Cas, what’s your point?”  
“I don’t know how much of her is left, I don’t know how we can get her back.” Cas hated the words even as he spoke them. He saw Dean exchange a concerned glance with Sam.  
“Cas we got you back, we got me back, hell we got Sam back. This time will be no different.” Cas forbore to comment, thinking of all the times they had failed, he wondered if Dean really believed his own words.  
“Guys we should head back home, go through the lore again. If Chris isn’t going to co-operate we need a better way to subdue her. Because these clearly don’t work” Sam held up the snapped through angel cuffs.  
“Sammy going home may not be the best idea, Chris knows that’s where we live. I should call Jack tell him to get out of Dodge” Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket and swore, the screen was cracked. Cas scooped his blade off the floor, flipped it and stowed it in his jacket.  
“Dean, we are safe. You heard what she said, Chris is going after Chuck.”  
“Cas can she actually hurt Chuck?” Sam asked, Cas couldn’t bear the sympathy in his eyes, he didn’t deserve it.  
“I don’t know Sam” Cas took a breath to try and quell the panic rising in his chest. “But if we don’t stop her-” he stopped and shook his head. “It’s not a risk we can afford to take.”

It was cold by the water, Chris pulled the collar of Cas’ trench-coat round her face and shivered. Of course she didn’t have to be cold, not really. She could have warmed herself with a thought, but there was something so clean about the brisk winter breeze. So she let herself shiver and enjoyed the way the air tugged at her hair. “I know you are there, why so shy?”  
“Hello”  
“Why hello Grand-Daddy” Chris just about managed to hide her surprise at the Lord of hosts appearance, she wasn’t sure what she expected. It certainly wasn’t the hoodie wearing, slightly unkempt looking person in front of her.  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“Bless your heart, would you prefer Grampy, or Pops?” Her power flared making her wince and grit her teeth. Chuck could feel it she could tell by the way his eyes flicked over her. She straightened up and pretended to tighten the trench coat’s belt.  
“It makes me feel old.”  
“you’re 14 billion.”  
“Hey 13.8 billion.”  
“What ever you say, I’m not calling you the Lord”  
“Chuck, call me Chuck.” They walked along the shore in silence for a while, “So what would you like to do? go shopping ? I could make you something, maybe a pony?” He was smiling at her hopefully. An incredulous laugh bubbled out of Chris before she could stop it.  
“Chuck, I’m not six. You can’t buy my co-operation with shiny toys.” She turned away, picked up a stone and skimmed it across the water.  
“How are you feeling?” He came closer, hand outstretched like he was approaching a nervous animal. “I know it hurts,”Chris flinched away from his hand.  
“I’m a walking nuclear bomb and the man I love just assaulted me, how do you think I’m feeling?”  
“There’s no need for sarcasm”  
“I think there is, now are you going to fix me or not?”  
“No, I’m sorry. Chris this path you are on, if you keep your power it only ends one way. I won’t lose another child to the dark side”  
“Thanks Obi-wan”  
“We can’t have another Lucifer running around.”  
“What about Jack?”  
“I’m watching him too”  
“Why don’t you just kill me?”  
“I’m giving you the choice, free will, kind of my thing” God shrugged, he looked pleased with himself, Chris wanted very much to punch him in the face.  
“Hardly a choice, die now or die later as a mortal” Chris hurled another stone into the bay.“You didn’t give the angels free will”  
“No, they were meant to be guardians, you sound like your mother”  
“She was right! What you did to them was cruel, you told them to love humanity and when they did, you punished them.” The power was running up her spine, sending coruscating waves of pain through her body. “you forbid them from ever being loved back, I’ve seen what your rules have done.”  
“You mean to Castiel? I can’t say I totally approve-” Chuck flew back wards and landed with a loud crunch on the pebbly beach. Chris grinned to herself she hadn’t expected to be able to do that, she stooped down and stared God straight in the eyes.  
“Don’t you dare say his name”  
“You know you can’t hold me here forever.”  
“I know and I can’t kill you, but I can hurt you and you will fix me. In fact Grand-Daddy you’re going to fix everything. I’ll be seeing you again real soon.”

Dean sipped his third bottle of beer and flipped open his fifth book of angel lore, the words were starting to swim in front of his eyes. “how about this Sammy? An incantation to ‘govern the holy ones’, at least I think that’s what it says” Dean squinted at the miniscule text, he was starting to think he needed glasses. “Its in some kind of old English and the incantation is in Enochian, take a look.” He shoved the book across the table, Sam caught it awkwardly and glared at Dean.  
“Dean! some of these books are hundreds of years old, can you be a little bit more careful please.”  
“Sorry Giles” Dean let himself smirk.  
“What?” Sam however looked confused.  
“You know Giles, the librarian? From Buffy the vampire slayer”  
“Does that make you Buffy? Didn’t she have a boyfriend called-” Sam turn to smirk, Dean pulled a face.  
“Don’t disrespect the Buffster, she was hot.”  
“And you say I’m a nerd,” laughing, Sam shook his head and turned his attention to the book. “hmm, this looks promising,” Sam leafed carefully through the brittle pages, “I think this is a spell for binding and powering down an angel.”  
“Like the one Rowena used on Lucifer?” Dean didn’t like remembering that, another time when he had nearly lost Cas.  
“It’s similar, we may have to adjust it slightly for a nephilim. I’ll need Cas to help me go through the Enochian” Sam looked at his brother. “Maybe you should go check on him.”  
“Sam, the poor guy’s had a bit of a bad day. He probably needs some alone time”  
“Dude, he has been sat in that room for the last six hours, go talk to him!”  
“Why don’t you go? You are the one who pushed him down this road after all.” Dean regretted those words immediately.  
“Low blow Dean. I got stuff to do, just go and talk to Cas.” Sam stood up, Dean could tell that he had hurt his brother, from the way he slammed his precious books into a pile.  
“Okay Sammy, I’ll go talk to Cas.”  
He hesitated before knocking on Cas’ door, feeling guilty that he had left his best friend alone to stew for so long. There was no response to his knock, he thought about just leaving it. “C’mon Winchester don’t be a coward” he muttered to himself and tried the door handle, it was unlocked. The room had been trashed, dresser tipped over, pictures ripped from the walls and the in the middle of the chaos was Cas. He was perched on the edge of the bed in his shirt sleeves with his hands covering his face. Cas’ shoulders shook and he seemed to curl in on himself. Dean was at a loss, he wasn’t sure he could handle Cas crying. Dean kicked a broken lamp out of the way and Cas looked up, it wasn’t tears.  
“What do you want?” Cas snarled.  
“How are you doing?” he tried to sound upbeat, but even to himself, his voice rang falsely.  
“Not well, as you can probably see” Cas glared at him, and turned away.  
“Getting your heart broken is rough”  
“I’ve had my heart broken before” Cas’ voice was low, shaky and full of recrimination. Dean felt the unspoken rebuke in his soul. He sighed and sat down next to Cas, who shifted a few inches away, a physical reminder of the gulf that had grown up between them. Longing for the old days caused a sudden lump in his throat. He wanted to go back to when things were easier and the unspoken thing between them was a bright promise for the future. Instead it had become a grief and regret ridden shadow of what could have been.Cas was fiddling with something on a thong around his neck. “what’s that?”  
“Chris gave it to me or rather she made Ariela give it too me. It stops the pain from my wings, you know they hurt all the time right?”  
“No I didn’t Cas, you should have told us.” or maybe I should have noticed, Dean was feeling like more and more of a callous moron. “So, a magical pain killer?”  
“Of sorts. She could see my wings, she saw all of me and she just-” Cas gripped the small bag tightly “she just accepted all of it. All the terrible things I’ve done, everything, she didn’t push me away.”  
“Cas-I didn’t push you away because of what you have done” Dean took a breath trying to get the words out, for once wanting to be honest with Cas and with himself. “I mean, I’m not exactly Mother Theresa-”  
“What was it then Dean? I know you are overly proud of your masculinity-”  
“Cas! It wasn’t that! For fuck sake!” Dean rubbed his face, why had his throat chosen this moment to dry up? He licked his lips and made himself look Cas in the eye, he had to put this right, he needed to find the right words, ‘I can’t mess this up’“I fell to bits when you died, you have no idea. I missed you so much, Cas” Dean crushed the sob trying to crawl up his throat. “I couldn’t go through that again, everybody I love gets hurt.”  
“Dean-”  
“Cas I am so sorry you have to go through this-” Dean stopped, the words drying up. How could he explain any of this to anyone? Cas stood up abruptly, Dean realised he had messed up. “What are you doing?”  
“I’m shutting the door,” there was a click and Dean realised Cas had shot the bolt. Dean got to his feet as Cas crossed the floor slowly, staring at his feet. Dean saw his fists clench, and the face Cas lifted to him was tense and drawn tight. “I nearly lost you today, Chris-” His tongue stumbled over the name, “she could have killed you, but I love her.” Dean opened his mouth to respond, but Cas silenced him with a shake of his head. “and I love you, so much.” Cas’ voice roughened, “why the hell do I have to choose?”  
“Cas, it’s going to be okay” Cas shook his head at that and smiled, a slow sad smile.  
“No it won’t Dean, because I choose you, always you.” Dean kissed him, he hadn’t known he was going to do it, until his tongue bumped against Cas’ lips and then it was too late to turn back. Cas’ tongue touched his and Dean let out a soft moan. Cas pushed him away “are you sure, Dean?”  
“What about Chris?” Dean managed to whisper.  
“I’ll save her and she will never forgive me. But at least she will be alive.” Dean nodded, he stroked his fingers along Cas’ jaw. He kissed him hesitantly, then harder, Cas’ fingers gripped his hips pulling him closer. He reached down and tugged at Cas’ fly, then at his own. He didn’t really know what he wanted, his brain had dissolved into pure need. He needed to touch and be touched in return. Dean groaned as Cas’ hand closed round his cock. He grabbed at Cas greedily, wrenching the white shirt over his head and let his hands glide over the smooth, firm muscles of his back. Dean pulled his t-shirt off and threw it at the wall, before letting Cas drag him down to the bed. Dean could already feel the delicious sensation of his muscles bunching. Cas bucked against him, Dean grabbed at his ass and their rhythm steadied. Dean’s belly was already slippery with pre-come, he pulled Cas closer squirming against the hard muscles of his belly, trying to hold on to the exhilarating feeling for just a moment later, it was too much he let go.  
“Cas!” he shouted. He looked up, Cas came slowly, his face creased up with the pleasure of it, Dean watched him enraptured, “I love you” he told him as Cas collapsed beside him.  
“I love you too Dean, but I do fear we may have just made things more complicated.”  
“When don’t we?”

Chris knew the moment it happened, she heard Cas scream Dean’s name in her head. For a moment it overwhelmed all the other chattering voices. She stopped and stared at her reflection in a shop window, tears sliding unbidden down her face. She had known of course, she had always known that Cas would always choose Dean, but it still hurt. She scrubbed the tears from her face, the power flared under her skin. It was getting harder to control, she patted the reassuring weight of the archangel blade where it was concealed in her coat, nothing left to lose now and no time left to waste.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam gets a shock, Asmodeus gets more than he bargained for

“This place is a dump,” Chris ran a finger along a dusty table and wiped it fastidiously on her coat. “Do you not have a housekeeper?” She grinned at Asmodeus, the demon was watching her carefully from his perch on the throne. “Well I suppose, dusting isn’t a number one priority for you.” She stepped over a smoking corpse, one of a dozen or so sprawled on the floor. Asmodeus shrank back against his chair, that was gratifying. “Interesting choice of décor, what is it? Neo-gothic with hints of lunacy. It suits you.”   
“How did you find me, sweet thing.” bravado, Chris was grudgingly impressed, even when staring defeat in the face Asmodeus wasn’t giving up. She mounted the steps of the dais, ignoring the nausea that crept up her throat the closer she got to the demon. She leaned forward and spat in his face.  
“I smelt you, you reek of corruption.” Chris stood up and rolled her shoulders, “I could have found you blindfolded.”  
“Child, you are dying.” The tongue flicked out, tasting the air like a snake. “you are leaking power like a sieve.”  
“How kind of you to notice.”  
“I could fix you,” his eyes raked her body, a lecherous smile twisting the bearded lips.  
“You know lying is a sin right?” Chris had trouble keeping her voice calm, it was difficult, part of her, the human part wanted to run screaming from the room.   
“Where’s your boyfriend? Awwww did you two break up?” He was trying to bait her.   
“I don’t need him for this.”  
“How very modern of you,” a derisive snort, “What is it you want from me, bitch.”  
“Watch your mouth.” The sound of the slap echoed off the stone walls, Asmodeus wiped a trickle of blood from his lip and stared at it in disbelief. “A deal, you have a couple of things I want.”  
“What do I get.”  
“continued existence. Give me what I want and I won’t deep fry your ass”  
“You can’t. you’re not strong enough.” Asmodeus’ face twitched into a snarl.  
“Why bless your black little heart, I can and you know it too” Chris let the energy crackle between her fingers “Maybe you need a little persuasion,” she leaned forward and laid a finger on Asmodeus’ forehead. Chris sent liquid fire running through his bones, the demon screeched and jerked. She dropped her hand after a few seconds, Asmodeus slid bonelessly from his seat and crumpled to the ground. He looked up at her, utter hatred shining in his eyes. “Was that good for you?” Chris permitted herself a small smile.  
“I will kill you.” Asmodeus panted, pulling himself upright. Chris wasn’t fooled she could see him shaking, how had she ever been afraid of this creature?  
“Enough games. The spell, the one you were going to use my blood for, I want it.”  
“And if I don’t give it too you?”  
“Then I will strip it from your mind and throw what’s left to the hell hounds, I think I saw the kennels on the way in here.”  
“Okay, I’ll give it to ya. I know a rising star when I see one.” obsequiously, he bowed and backed down the steps, “You remind me very much of our dear lord Lucifer when he was young.” He gestured to the vacant throne. “All yours my Lady.” Chris ignored his words, the fool was actually being serious.  
“The spell Asmodeus.”  
“Of course, of course” he stepped over a prone body and started to rummage through the bookshelves lining one side of the room, he held up a slim green leather bound volume . “I acquired the book itself a few years ago-it’s an interesting tale-”  
“I don’t care. Give it to me.” Chris held out her hand, “No tricks.”warily Asmodeus placed the book in her hands. She flicked through the unpleasantly slippery pages, found what she was looking for and shut it with a snap. “This should do the job, with a few adjustments.”  
“May I be so bold as to ask what the job is?” That nasty wheedling tone again, it set Chris’ teeth on edge.  
“No you may not. Now where is he?”  
“Who, you may have to be a little more specific. I have more than one guest.”  
“The arch angel Gabriel.” Asmodeus’ eyes bulged at the name, Chris’ grabbed his tie and yanked the demon closer.  
“I don’t know what you are talking about”  
“More lies Asmodeus? Now I know even a prince of hell should not be as powerful as you appear to be. Only an arch angel can pull off some of your stunts. So, Michael is in the cage, my Mom is in her shop, Raphael is dead and Lucifer is trapped somewhere over the rainbow.” She pulled the tie tight, resisted the urge to keep squeezing. Asmodeus gargled and pulled at her hands ineffectively, “Give him to me.”  
“Fine, I’ll take you to him!” The demon squealed. Chris shoved him away, taking pleasure in the way he cowered on the floor.   
“How was I ever afraid of you.”

Dean dreamed of fire, not the smokey dull flames of hell, but a blaze like the sun that instantly turned everything it touched to ash and dust. Screams close by, Cas, Sam and Jack, their forms nothing but shadows that disintegrated even as he reached out to drag them to safety.  
“I’m sorry, Dean” Chris wreathed in flame. No, she was the flame it radiated from her, shining from every pore, cracking her skin open. He screamed and grabbed at her, as he did the flesh of his own hand crumbled into nothing; he woke gasping, a cold sweat drenching his body, sheet hugged to his chest.  
“Dean are you alright!” Strong arms around him, holding him tight in the dark. Cas, he remembered, recollections of the previous night rushing back like a high tide. He rested his head against his angel’s chest and let the dream induced terror dissipate.  
“Just a nightmare, buddy,” Regretfully, Dean slipped out of warm embrace and groped for the bedside lamp. He flicked it on and turned back, Cas looking at him with concern, his hair rumpled, those eyes darkened to midnight blue in the dim light; Dean’s breath caught painfully in his chest. “Oh fuck” he muttered. Cas’ forehead creased and he tilted his head in confusion.  
“Did I do something wrong?” He sounded hurt.  
“No, Cas you didn’t” Dean ran trembling fingers along the stubbly jaw, Cas stayed very still eyes wide waiting for him to speak. “I’ve been an idiot, that’s all”  
“Yes, you have.” Deadpan, but a hint of a smile was hovering around Cas’ lips.  
“I probably deserve that.” Dean lay back down with a groan.  
“Your dream, it wasn’t like your normal nightmares was it?” Cas asked softly, and lay down next to him. Dean tried to ignore the warmth of Cas’ body pressed against him, it was disconcerting. All those fantasies he had locked up deep within himself, none of them had prepared him for the skin on skin reality.   
“How do you know?”  
“I always know when you are dreaming about me, I guess it’s a kind of prayer.”  
“Always?” Dean felt his cheeks flush, as he remembered what some of those dreams were about, crazy to be embarrassed about it now.  
“Always, so do you want to tell me?”  
“I dreamt I lost you again. Not just you, Sam and Jack too.” Dean chewed his lip, saying the words brought the fear back, the fear of losing all of them. “Chris was there, she burned. I’m worried Cas, what if extracting her grace doesn’t work?”  
“Then I suppose, there will be no way to save her. God, will take her off the board.” Dean heard the pain in Cas’ voice, his heart lurched.  
“You mean we might have to let Chuck kill her.”  
“Yes.”  
“Cas, no. I told you we will find a better way.” Dean sat up and feeling a little awkward, kissed Cas lightly. When Dean started to pull away, Cas wrapped his arms round him and kissed him back, Dean buried himself in the sensation, neither of them heard the door open.  
“Cas have you seen Dean? Oh god!” Sam staring at them, mouth opening and shutting like a stunned goldfish.  
“Hiya Sammy” Dean snagged the sheet and pulled it over them both. Sam was now steadfastly looking at the floor. “this is exactly what it looks like.”  
“Me and your brother are working some things out” Cas rumbled, Dean realised he was enjoying Sam’s discomfort.  
“I can see, in fact, I’m pretty sure I’m never going to un-see that.”  
“What do you want Sammy?” Dean interrupted before his brother could spontaneously combust.   
“Uh?” Sam was holding his phone, for a second he glanced at it as if trying to remember what it was. “Ariela just called, she says Gabriel is alive and Chris is going to kill him.”  
“What?” Dean demanded.  
“Does she know where he is?”  
“No Cas,only that he is alive, for the moment”.  
“Then we have to find her, now.” Cas jumped out of bed.  
“Yes Cas, I know! But could you and my brother please put on some pants first!”

“So you keep him planet side, not very smart” Chris asked Asmodeus, as she followed him along the winding corridor.  
“I like to have him close, besides he ain’t going anywhere.”  
“What do you mean.”  
“You’ll see, even arch angels have their breaking point.” They stopped outside of a heavy door. Asmodeus pulled a key from his breast pocket with a flourish. “Here he is, may I present the Arch angel Gabriel” he swung the door open.   
It took a minute for Chris’ eyes to adjust to the gloom, what she thought was a pile of dirty rags moved. she had a glimpse of the eyes of a terrified animal, quickly hidden again. She took a step inside the cell, it stank, the figure huddles on the bench trembled and shook as she approached it.  
“Gabriel, do you know who I am?” No answer, disgusted Chris moved a little closer “What have you done to him?”  
“Oh you know this and that.” The demon’s smugness was really starting to annoy her. Chris grasped Gabriel’s arm. He tried to scream, but all that came out was a guttural moan, Chris held him firm as he thrashed and drew him into the light. His mouth was sewn shut, needle marks and half healed injuries dotted his arms. Shocked Chris let go and he scuttled into the furthest corner of the cell.  
“You been feeding off his grace.”  
“Well yes, he mine now ain’t ya boy. Now kill this bitch for me!” To Asmodeus’ obvious consternation, Gabriel didn’t move. Chris laughed out loud.  
“I think he is done with you, as am I” He tried to run, Chris held him immobile with a thought. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you live did you?” she clenched her fist, and he doubled over in agony. “when I am done with heaven and god, hells next.” she squeezed harder, the demon fell to his knees. Chris realised Gabriel was standing silently at her shoulder she smiled at him brightly. “Hello Uncle, should I Kentucky fry the Colonel here?” The briefest of nods from Gabriel. Asmodeus screamed as the flames engulfed him, burning greasily into ash. Chris stared at the spot for a while, before looking Gabriel in the eye.  
“I need your help with something, will you trust me?”  
“Ariela?” the name slipped between the tortured lips.  
“You remember her.” Another nod. “We’ll see her soon, I promise.”Chris held out her hand, “lets go.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Gabe have a uncle/niece hear to heart and make a decision.

“It’s kind of chilly up here, are you sure you wouldn’t rather be some where else?” Chris rubbed her hands together and suppressed a shiver. She walked a few steps over bare grey rock and looked down at the water of the fjord, as it crashed and boiled below them. “Gabe, I know I said we needed to go off grid, but we could do that in Hawaii.” She glanced back to where Gabriel was perched, motionless on a granite boulder. “You know on a beach,” She picked up a rock and dropped it over the edge, “Why did you bring us here?” No response, “I don’t have time for this!” She planted herself directly in front of the archangel, he dropped his gaze, deliberately avoiding her eyes.  
Chris seized his chin and tried to make him look at her. He pushed at her, his whole body twisting in desperation to escape. Chris sensed the moment when he opened his wings, but she was ready-that was, after all how they had ended up here in the first place. She lashed out with her grace and held Gabriel still, wings pinioned like a dead butterfly. He made a noise, half way between and sob and a scream. “Gabriel, why did you bring us to Norway!” Chris turned his face towards her and saw hell reflected in his eyes.  
Feeling sick, she let go and watched him skitter away over the rocks. He didn’t even try to fly, just lumbered away and hid behind a stunted pine tree. It had only taken a second for her to feel all of it, so much pain, so many prayers and the slow growing horror that no one was coming for him. “I’m sorry Gabe” she took a step towards his hiding place and her own pain flared suddenly, from dull ache to fire. Eyes screwed tight shut, she fell to her knees. Her breath whistled between her teeth, she tried really hard not to scream, but failed abysmally.   
The fire faded slowly, some one was holding her, fingers stroked her face and wiped away the tears. Gabriel was kneeling on the cold hard stone next to her, an arm around her shoulders and compassion shining in those strangely light eyes. “I’m okay” she told him, he shook his head and half smiling, raised a doubtful eyebrow.   
“really young Skywalker?”  
“I think you know the answer to that.”  
“Yeah I do,” he sighed and helped her to her feet, “No offence kiddo, but you are broken.”  
“So are you.”  
“touché!” his eyes gazed inward for a moment and he seemed to drift off, Chris shook his shoulder.  
“I can fix you.” she didn’t ask his permission, just reached out and knitted his tattered grace back together, or started to anyway. Gabriel gripped her wrists and pushed the power away.  
“Stop” his eyes flared gold, wings outlined against the sky for a moment. “That’s enough, look at your skin” Chris pulled her coat sleeves back, her forearms were blistered and red.  
“What the hell”  
“You can’t use your power” Gabriel said softly, a ripple of his grace healed her arms, “The more you use it, the sooner you will lose control.” he let go of her wrists, “No offence, but I don’t want to be sharing a planet with you when that happens.” He lifted his hand, Chris realised he was going to fly away.  
“Please don’t go.”  
“Sweet heart, as much as I have enjoyed the family reunion, it’s not really my thing.”  
“I don’t want to die.”  
“Nobody does, I suggest you go find yourself a quiet corner of creation to explode in.” he shrugged, “I’m sorry, I can’t fix you.”  
“I know that, but God could!”   
“Then why hasn’t he?” Gabe’s face tightened, his hands twitched into fists. Chris took a step backwards, Gabriel was after all still an archangel.  
“He said I had to give up my grace,” Chris admitted.  
“Then do it, Chris if it means living don’t be a dick.”  
“Now you sound like Cas.”  
“Cas? As in Castiel?” he narrowed his eyes at her and frowned, “how do you know Cas?” Chris turned away trying to hide the blood rushing to her face.  
“He’s just a friend, actually not even that now.”  
“Yeah right, so you and he” Gabriel grinned and bobbed his head “have been getting nasty, you know, playing hide the zucchini-”  
“Shut up!”  
"You know you and Cas that’s technically-you know."  
"What?"  
"I'm not judging.” laughing, he held up his hands. Chris glared at him, “Okay I am totally judging you.” He patted her on the shoulder and wandered away to the cliff edge.“So where is lover boy now?”  
“With Dean, I expect” The bitterness roughened her voice, she followed him to the edge.  
“Oh kiddo, when you say ‘with Dean’, you mean they’re banging right.”  
“Yeah and they tried to force me to give up my grace.” Chris sat down beside him, her legs dangling into the void.  
“you know I’ve had some bad breakups; Kali was a nightmare, bunny boiler that girl. But that’s cold.”   
“It was never going to work.” Chris sighed, it hurt saying it out loud.  
“Oh come on, you couldn’t know that.” Gabriel dropped down beside her, Chris let herself lean against his shoulder.  
“What if I told you that I did know, and yet I still-” her breath caught in her throat and she shook her head.   
“Well that’s the Winchesters! can’t kill em, can’t keep them locked in a sex dungeon.”Gabriel smiled at her.  
“I’m sure we could” Chris found herself grinning, a laugh bubbled up from somewhere.   
“Chris please, give up your grace.” Gabe said softly once their laughter had died down, “If dad hasn’t fixed you, he won’t. He’s not known for his leniency.”  
“Gabe, no he needs to pay for this!” but her rock hard certainty was starting to shift. She had lost Cas, was revenge really worth losing everything else?  
“I know you think that, but you are my family too. I don’t want to lose you and I want to see my big sister again. Don’t make me be the one to tell her you are dead” the joking, mocking trickster was gone, someone else was behind Gabriel’s eyes. Someone immeasurably powerful and unfathomably sad. Gabe licked his lips and turned away. “Please don’t make me tell Ariela about another dead child.”   
“I didn’t know that.”  
“Well why would you! I am God’s messenger, celestial postman, so who else was he going to send when he decided to drown the earth.” Gabe flicked his finger, a rock detached itself from the cliff and crashed into the thrashing waves below. “I made myself remember her, when Dad told us to forget, I refused.”  
“Okay, maybe you should do it.” Chris dragged the words out of herself, she glanced up defiantly at Gabriel, who looked confused.  
“Do what?”  
“Take my grace, now. Before I change my mind, or I hurt anyone else.”   
“Chris, are you sure?” he stood up and held out his hand, she took it begrudgingly and let him pull her upright.  
“Gabriel, of course I’m not sure. Just do it alright!” The power was already whispering that this was a bad idea, Chris shoved it’s suggestions to one side and glared at her uncle.  
“Okay, okay lets do this then. Stand still” Gabe closed his eyes and held his hand over her chest, for a second there was a pulling sensation, which stopped abruptly. Gabe’s eyes snapped open and he shook his head. “Chris, it’s too late”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It’s too late, if I take your grace now, you will die anyway.” he took a step forward, “your vessel is too badly damaged, you shouldn’t have waited so long.”  
“What do I do now?” Cold panic invaded Chris’ veins, she stumbled away blindly. Gabriel followed her, she wasn’t expecting him to do that. “Gabe just go okay.”  
“Can’t do that kiddo, I leave you here, you explode and burn half the world.” His hands were resting on her shoulders restraining her. “And I am rather fond of this sad little trash fire of a planet.” He turned her round, the sympathy in his eyes hurt her, she wanted to look away. No, she wanted to run away.  
“Where should I go?”  
“I’m not a fan of Mars, so that’s an option or-”  
“Or what?”  
“What was your plan?” he raised his eyebrows at her, “hmm? What were you going to do Chris.”  
“There is a spell, Asmodeus was going to use me to rip the grace from all of the angels in heaven.” she paused biting her lip. “I realised I could change it, just need some pure non human contaminated archangel grace.”  
“Change it to do what?” Gabe was frowning at her, Chris hesitated unsure of his reaction.  
“To bind God, make him fix me” she rubbed her face tiredly, fingers pressing against the now near constant headache in her temples.  
“So that’s why you rescued me?” Gabe sounded hurt, disappointed even. Chris shook her head.  
“Maybe I did, but I can’t make you help me. I just hoped you would, I’ve got nobody Gabe.” she stepped away and watched the northern sun as it sat stubbornly on the horizon, neither rising or setting. “If you say no, I’ll go plant myself in front of Curiosity now, give Nasa a show.”  
“Alright, I’ll help you.” Gabe said softly, “ you asked me, why Norway?” he turned to the fjord, “Because this is where I became Loki, well not quite here, the sea level has risen a bit. There used to be a glacier here,” he shrugged. “That’s global warming for you I guess.”  
“And”  
“First time I ran away, first time I skedaddled away from my family and I’ve just kept on running. Time to grow up. I won’t hurt Dad, I don’t want to lose anyone else I care about.” Gabe laughed sadly “he probably knows what we are doing anyway.”  
“I doubt that” Chris snapped her fingers, warding sigils hovered in the air, flaring into fiery life. Gabe looked impressed.  
“Neat trick.”  
“Runs in the family, obviously. Can we go somewhere warmer now?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys look for chris, who is chilling with her uncle gabe...but things are getting serious. Sam tries to cope with cas and dean's new arrangement.

“So the tracking spell was a bust?” Dean rubbed his hands over his face tiredly and tried to keep the frustration out of his voice.   
“She must have warded herself” Sam shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table.  
“What about Angel radio?” Dean glanced at Cas and at Jack who was tucking into his cereal with gusto, it was a mark of how concerned they were that noone commentated on Jack eating fruit loops for lunch.  
“Not a whisper, just the usual chatter. It’s like she vanished off the face of the earth.” Cas sounded flat, defeated.  
“Could she do that? I mean she still has wings right?” Dean paused to smile at Cas, His angel smiled back, but it was a sad ghost of a smile. Dean could see the guilt shining in Cas’ eyes. “Perhaps she has just skadadled off to Jupiter or something”  
“I suppose she might take that course, if she felt there was no hope left.”  
“I don’t know Cas, she seemed pretty adamant about the whole not dying thing.” Sam leaned back in his chair and stretched, none of them had got much sleep.  
“Chris wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t endanger the whole world.”  
“Maybe your Chris wouldn’t, but she is not the same person anymore.” Sam said softly. Dean bit his lip even to his ears that sounded a bit condescending. Cas’ fist landed on the table with a bang and he surged to his feet. There was a moment of furious silence, broken only by a metallic clank as Jack dropped his spoon.  
“I know her” Cas’ voice was low, dangerous, “She wouldn’t, she just wouldn’t” Dean heard his voice crack, Cas directed a swift heartsick glare at all three of them and stalked out.  
“I was just saying-”  
“Shut up Sam” Dean shook his head and followed Cas out.  
He found Cas sat on the steps by the telescope in the library. Cas didn’t acknowledge his presence one way or the other. Dean took that as a good sign and lowered himself down beside him, he bumped his shoulder against Cas’ and nervously took his angels hand. It still felt weird, he could admit that much to himself. “Sam didn’t mean to upset you.”  
“I know, it’s just-” Cas paused staring into space, “I don’t want him to be right, I don’t want to be responsible for breaking yet another person I love.”  
“I get that Cas, I really do. But it’s not true.”  
“Really? Look at what I did to you.”   
“Cas, you didn’t break me.” Dean gripped Cas’ hand.   
“Dean-”  
“It’s true, I was broken years before I met you, you saved me. Without you where would me and Sam be?” Dean rested his head against Cas’ shoulder, glorying in the fact he could do that now.   
“I just want her to be safe.”  
“Me too buddy, but we can’t save everyone you know that” Dean turned Cas’ face towards him, and hesitantly kissed him. “But that doesn’t mean we won’t try deal?”  
“Deal”

“You sure he is here?” Chris muttered feeling uncomfortable and not knowing where to look, they were surrounded by gyrating strippers. Gabriel raised an eyebrow at her and threw another twenty dollar bill on to the stage, the blonde girl sliding up and down the pole gracefully retrieved it and winked at him.  
“Well not here, he hates strip clubs, but this town definitely.”  
“How do you know?” Chris took a sip of the sweet sticky concoction Gabriel had insisted she try and tried not to make a face.  
“That Dad hates strip clubs. Well actually it’s a funny -”  
“Gabe you know what I meant”   
“Oh right, little miracles, all the cats in the local shelter were simultaneously adopted, local river cleaned itself, dad can’t resist the odd little interference.”  
“I thought he was against that sort of thing”  
“Only when it suits him” Gabriel’s eyes turned inward for a second, Chris squeezed her uncles shoulder.   
“Keep it together Uncle Gabe”  
“Easier said than done kiddo.” Gabe turned and snagged another couple of sticky drinks off a passing waitress, grinning he pushed one across the table to Chris. “drink up, if this is my last night on earth I’m not spending it sober.”  
“Gabe are you sure you want to do this?”  
“No, but like I told you, I don’t want to face my sister otherwise.”  
“Alright” Chris let herself smile and down the drink “That was gross”  
“Another?”  
“Sure why not.”  
Somehow they wound up sharing a booth with the blonde and her giggling dark haired friend. Gabe had switched drinks and was swigging bourbon straight from the bottle, arms wrapped firmly round the waists of both girls. Chris watched him through her own alcohol induced haze, wondering if perhaps she should leave him to it and go back to the motel. She said as much to him.  
“Oh no, missy you are staying right here!” Gabe snapped his fingers a second bottle of bourbon appeared in front of Chris, she glared at Gabe.   
“This is not a good idea.” Even so she pulled the cork and took a swig, it burned her throat and made her splutter.  
“Thats it get it down you kiddo” Gabe turned to the brunette on his arm, “Now Susan-”  
“My names Sara” the girl pouted.  
“My mistake, now my niece here has just had a very bad break up, why don’t you go cheer her up hmmm?”  
“Gabe no” Chris tried to look fierce but it was difficult to be mad at Gabe, he just waggled his eyebrows at her.  
“Come on Chris, live a little. Look at her, she is gorgeous” The girl slid along the seat and pressed herself against Chris draping an arm over her shoulders. She smelled oddly sweet, Chris smiled, she suspected the alcohol was effecting her judgement. She exchanged a look with Gabe.  
“I suppose some meaningless sex could help”  
“and now I know we are related” Gabe grinned and planted a sloppy kiss on his blonde. Chris turned back to Sara, the girl had a pretty heart shaped face and big grey eyes.  
“Okay” she breathed and leaned forward, a heavy hand on her shoulder interrupted the intended kiss. Chris looked up and up, a giant in a monkey suit was glaring down at her. “Problem?”  
“He needs to settle his bar bill” The giant rumbled and stabbed a finger in Gabe’s direction.  
“I’ll do it when we leave” Gabe mumbled.  
“You heard the man, we’ll pay when we leave” Chris smiled up sweetly at the bouncer.  
“That’s not good enough” he growled and reached across, grabbing Gabe by his shirt front and hauling him out. The table tipped over, drinks going everywhere, their companions took off like scared rabbits. Chris stood up.  
“Put him down, we’ll settle up then go.”  
“It’s okay Chris, I got this” Gabe gasped, twisting his head to catch her eye.   
She saw his intent the second before his dangling foot connected with the giants crotch “Gabe don’t!” Too late, he went down like a tree, howling and clutching his privates. Her uncle landed on his feet and together they surveyed the crowd of bouncers advancing on them. Gabe was laughing, his face a mask of malicious glee.  
“good times!” he shouted and threw a punch at the nearest black suit. Chris let out a sigh and clenched her fists, it was going to be a long night.

A constant thumping dragged Sam from his pit of dreams, he stared at the clock in disbelief: six AM. He just lay there for a while listening to the rhythmic banging unable to work out where it was coming from, he wondered if one of the bunkers air conditioners was broken. Eventually unable to drift back to sleep and starting to genuinely worry that something was really wrong, he got out of bed. The sound was louder in the corridor seeming to echo off every surface, it was loudest of all outside of Deans door. He raised his hand to knock, but froze as his sleep fuddled mind put finally two and two together, he really didn’t need to hear Deans ecstatic cry of triumph as confirmation or the low rumbling moan that he just knew was Cas, yet still it assaulted his ears.  
“Oh god” he muttered to himself and quietly backed away from the door, not even Chuck himself could have induced him to knock. Instead he headed for the kitchen wishing he was deaf.  
He was sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and trying to read the news on his laptop while waiting for the caffeine to kick in and wondering how the hell they were ever going to find Chris in time, when Dean breezed in wearing nothing but his robe and a smile.  
“Good morning Sammy, your up early,” his brother was grinning widely, Sam tried not to stare at the giant hicky gracing his neck.  
“Yeah, can’t imagine why.” it came out as a growl, Dean was unabashed.  
“Sorry were we a little loud?” he poured two mugs of coffee and left still grinning. Sam shook his head, this was going to take some getting used to. His phone started to vibrate in his pocket he pulled it out wondering, who was calling at this ungodly hour. He blinked in surprise at the caller ID.  
“hey Donna”  
“Morning Sam, gosh darn it! wasn’t expecting you to be up. I was just going to leave you a voice mail.”  
“Well I’m up Donna, what can I help you with?”  
“Actually Sam, I am ringing to help you, think I found your runner”  
“really where?”  
“Denver, I have emailed you the mugshots.”  
“Mugshots?”  
“yep, mugshots. She was arrested with little fella for starting a fight in a strip club.” Sam flipped open his laptop and pulled up the email, sure enough there Chris was and Gabriel too.  
“Donna are they still in custody?”  
“fraid not, disappeared out of the cells, the locals aren’t happy. There is a nationwide APD out for the pair of them.”  
“Thanks Donna, I owe you one.”  
“That you do, who is this girl?”  
“It’s a long story, I swear I’ll tell you about it as soon as we catch up with her.”  
“You better Sammy.” Sam cut the call and smiled to himself as dean sailed back in.  
“Forgot the milk” he explained.  
“Donna just called”  
“And?”  
“Chris is in Denver with Gabriel.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get desperate, and sometimes endings are not always happy ever after.

Cas dropped a pair of angel cuffs into the holdall, as they clinked against a spare angel blade it came rushing back, what he was about to do. He had been trying not to dwell, ‘it’s for the best’ he reminded himself sternly, still not believing it. He flinched as a hand brushed the back of his neck.   
“you ready for this?” Dean asked softly, Cas shook his head and zipped up the bag quickly.  
“I’m never going to be ready, but there is nothing else to try is there?” He heard the bitterness in his own voice. Dean heard it too, judging by the way he huffed and turned Cas round to face him.   
“Could you at least look at me budd- I mean, babe,” Strong fingers under his chin, making him meet those green eyes. “I wish there was another way.”  
“Me too” Cas dropped his gaze and made a show of stacking the books and papers scattered across the table.  
“What are we going to do if this works?” Dean took the bag and hoisted it over his shoulder.   
“What do you mean?”   
“About Chris? Bring her back here?”  
“I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far ahead. She is going to be seriously angry with me. It will be difficult.” Cas shook his head, “Even more so now you and I” he stopped abruptly his cheeks growing hot.  
“You’re cute when you blush.” Dean raised an eyebrow, “You know, if you wanted” Dean paused “Maybe we could, uh, sort something out.”  
“What do you mean Dean?”  
“Well, there’s you and me, and then there’s you and Chris, but what if it was just you, me and Chris.” Dean must have sensed Cas’ confusion, “What I mean is, she’s hot, I like her, I think she likes me, we both uh, love you. You see what I am getting at”  
“You mean a ménage a trios.”  
“Yeah a menage thingy” Dean shrugged, “Just a thought.” Cas wasn’t sure where the laugh came from, but it bubbled up out of his throat. “Why is that funny” Dean demanded.  
“It’s not, not really. I don’t deserve you.”  
“Well that is true” self consciously Dean held out his hand. “Lets go get our girl and hope she doesn’t kill us.” Cas curled his fingers round Dean’s and they walked down to the kitchen together.  
Sam was pouring over his laptop, he looked up as they entered. “I think I know where in Denver they are, roughly any way.”  
“How Sam?” Cas stared at the laptop screen, traffic reports as far as he could tell.  
“Get this, a Rolls Royce silver ghost ran a red light near the catholic cathedral.”  
“So what’s that got to do with us?” Dean looked puzzled Cas groaned.  
“Chris loves vintage British cars, said it reminds her of home,” Cas explained “And lets be honest, if Gabriel is involved he is not going to be driving a Buick.”  
“So do we think he is helping her? Cause an archangel is not something we have planned for.”  
“Who knows? We don’t know where Gabriel has been all this time, there is a chance that he is an unwilling participant.”Cas exchanged a concerned look with Dean.  
“Well that settles it Jack stays here, it’s safer. As for Gabriel, we don’t have time to worry about him. Why the Cathedral? Why there?”  
“Maybe what ever she is going to do needs a consecrated place?” Sam guessed.  
“No it’s more than that, it’s a place of concentrated faith, of power. We have to go now, right now.”  
“Cas hang on” Dean reached out to stop him.  
“We don’t have time and neither does Chris.”

It was dark in the Cathedral at this time of night, only the candles on the altar wavered in the slight breeze as Gabriel swung the door open. “Nice place, Dad always did have the best architects.” he wandered down the immense nave, it’s forest of white columns veiled in shadow. Chris followed more slowly, every part of her body was now screaming at her. She stumbled and grabbed a pew for support, the wood burned beneath her fingers. Gabe jogged back down the nave and helped her up. “Ups a daisy” He helped her to her feet and half carried half dragged her down to the altar.   
“Gabe I feel weird” Chris stared at her forearms, light was writhing under her skin raising blisters.   
“Not long now kiddo, just hang on okay” Gabe gripped her hands and smiled at her.  
“I don’t know if I can” her throat constricted, Gabe hugged her gently like she was made of glass.  
“Not long”  
“What if it doesn’t work?”  
“Then we fly you somewhere far away”  
“I don’t want to die alone.”  
“You won’t” he dropped a kiss on her forehead, “I’ll go with you”  
“You can’t you’ll die,” Gabriel was rummaging through a bag, he pulled out a couple of candles and handed them to her.  
“I’m an archangel, me and my brothers used the big bang as a paddling pool, I will be fine. Now light the candles young padawan.”  
“ready?”  
“Yeah, Gabe if this doesn’t work-”  
“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry, you want me to tell Cas anything?”  
“Nothing he doesn’t already know.” Gabriel nodded and got to his knees inside the aquarian star they had painted on the floor with ash.  
“Okay lets do this.”

“So we sure this is the place?” Dean asked for the fourth time since they had parked the impala in the cathedral’s shadow.  
“Yes, Gabriel is in there and Chris I can feel them. They have dropped the warding.” Cas cast a worried glance towards the cathedral, he could sense the spell Chris was weaving, the air tasted of copper, like before a snow storm.“Will this binding spell work on Gabriel as well?” Cas asked.  
“Maybe, maybe not.” Sam didn’t even look up from the ingredients he was throwing into a golden bowl balanced on the hood of the impala.  
“They have already started the spell, we can’t wait. I’ll go ahead, follow me when the spells working”  
“Cas no!” Dean called after him, but he was already running.

 

“Yahweh, Tetragrammaton, Elohim, El Shaddai, and Elyon, I bind you with your own names, I bind you with the prayers of the faithful” Nothing happened, Chris stared round with wide eyes, she felt Gabriel’s hand cover hers gripping the blade over his heart with her “I demand you come forth, or I will take this one, I will take your son”  
“Chris, Don’t!” Cas stepped into the flickering candle light, Chris froze the arch angel blade hovered over Gabriel’s heart. She looked over her shoulder, meeting Cas’ eyes with her sun bright gaze.  
“ Cas you don’t understand stay back, If I do this he will come.” There were tears on her cheeks, Cas felt his heart break.  
“No he won’t, please stop this”  
“Choirboy, I don’t have a choice” she turned away, Cas may have screamed her name, he could never recall later. He made a wild grab for her wrist and squeezed, feeling sick as the bones ground and broke. The arch angel blade slipped from her nerveless fingers, it clattered against the floor. Cas made a grab for it and missed. She swung a fist at him which he dodged and dragged her against him, restraining her with an arm around her throat.  
“It’s over Chris, please just stop.” he could feel her panic at being helpless and her horror that it was him doing this to her. Shame engulfed him, “I’m sorry.” There was a bang as the door was slammed open and the sound of running feet.   
“Cas, the spell is dying!” Dean shouted.   
“Everything hurts” Chris murmured, abruptly she was a dead weight in his arms, he tightened his grip holding her upright. “Cas, I can’t think straight.”  
“It’s going to be alright” her cheek was pressed against his, their tears mingling together.  
“It’s too late” she whispered in his ear then the world turned white. Cas had a single glimpse of Chris her mouth open wide in a soundless scream before he was blinded.  
Her grace burned streaming from her body getting brighter and brighter, eclipsing everything in its radiance. Chris didn’t make a sound, her eyes glazed over. She sagged to the ground, Even as his flesh burned, Cas held her as she fell. The light faded and Cas blinked surprised to be alive and then he realised he was clutching empty air-she was gone.  
Gabriel was on his feet, staring at Cas he snatched the blade from the floor and rounded on them. “Where did she go, what the hell have you done with her!”  
“Gabe, this is a rescue” Dean called out, the archangel swung in his direction and took a couple of steps forward.  
“You idiots, I was helping her, it was just a ruse to get the old man down here so we could bind him. Now what the hell have you done with Chris!”  
“Nothing, brother it wasn’t us” Cas took a step forward hands held out, “I swear Gabriel it wasn’t us”  
“It was me” Chuck was standing a few feet outside the painted star, arms folded.   
“You killed her!” it was nearly a scream, Cas felt Dean grab him holding him still.  
“No, she’s not dead, I just put her some place safe.”  
“Where!” Cas demanded, Chuck shrugged and tapped his nose.  
“Sorry, this was the only way.”  
“You bastard” Gabe lunged, only to be caught by Sam.  
“Sorry son” he vanished, Gabe struggled in Sam’s long armed embrace.  
“I promised her” he shouted and was suddenly limp in Sam’s arms, dissolving into great messy sobs much to the surprise of the younger Winchester. Cas dropped to his knees, fingers resting on the floor where she had vanished, he felt Dean’s arms around him.  
“I’ll miss her”  
“Me too Cas, me to”  
“If it hadn’t been for her I would never have told you.”  
“I know, lets go home.” 

The End


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not everything ends, not love, not always.

Ariela had just turned the sign on the shop door when Chris’ scream for help seared across her consciousness.   
“Mother!”  
“Baby girl!”The force of it knocked Ariela to her knees, she clutched the edge of the nearest table, knocking a basket of dried chicken feet across the floor. Her chest seemed too tight, and her wrists burned with cold fire. Dizzied she hauled herself to her feet, “I’m coming, child, I’m coming”  
“No, you are not” said a soft voice behind her. Ariela froze, she didn’t want to turn round.  
“Father?” He appeared in front of her, head tilted on one side eyes giving her the same disappointed look he had bestowed on her all those millennia ago. She took a step back expecting him to blast her on the spot, more worryingly she could no longer feel Chris.  
“Is she dead?” She reached out fruitlessly searching and found nothing. “you killed my baby?”  
“No I just cut your connection for a moment, we need to talk Ariela.” The small ginger haired man hitched himself up on a table, he picked up one of the quartz crystals scattered artfully across the table-top and held it up to the light.  
“She is in trouble I have to get to her.”  
“She is safe for the moment, the boys have found her. Whether she stays safe, depends on you.” Ariela drew a cautious breath.  
“What do you mean.”  
“Tell me why? I could have killed you years ago or locked you away like I did your brother. But I let you be”  
“You killed my children, your grand children. You, sir are a monster, you kill your own kin.” Anger and remembered grief consumed Ariela, she let it speak.  
“Yes I have been called that, but you disobeyed me and you dragged others along with you.”  
“I fell in love.”  
“With a human!” He jumped off the table anger clouding his features he took two steps forward, Ariela forced herself to meet his eyes, all she wanted to do was cower before the terror inducing waves of power he sent towards her, but she couldn’t let herself give in.  
“Not just with a human and you know that, with all of them.” Her vessels heart was beating fast hammering against her ribs, she straightened up.  
“I expressly forbid it.”  
“What you did to them was wrong, what you did to us, your first born was wrong.”  
“Who are you to judge me?”  
“I am your child, who else gets to judge you? You made the humans, you made them flawed, you gave them this beautiful universe then you gave them death. You made us Angels and forbid us from feeling. All I wanted was to give Humanity the things it lacked, the things you withheld-because of your own selfish ego.” Her Father’s face softened.  
“Ariela-”  
“So kill me or lock me away like you did Lucifer, because if you take my child from me again I will stick my blade in my own heart and go into the empty like my little brothers.” with a flick of her wrist she pulled her sword from her sleeve and placed the point over her heart.  
“I thought Chris had that”  
“so did she, Gabriel didn’t get all his tricks from Lucifer”  
“Ariela, enough.” he pushed the blade down, and touched her face. “I am sorry kiddo.” He hugged her, she received it stiffly, unbelieving. “I’m sorry, I mean it. I just wanted to know your reasoning, I was an idiot back then.” his words broke her heart and she embraced him back laying her head on his shoulder.  
“Please, please don’t hurt my baby.”Ariela was aware that she was begging, what else was there left to do?  
“I won’t hurt her, after all Lucifer’s kid’s still breathing isn’t he.”  
“You have changed.” Ariela let go and took a step away.  
“Well I have had a long time to think about things, look back on my choices as it were and I think its time for a new chapter. Because you were right, I have messed up.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“That depends on you. Right now your child, my grand child is about to burn, she is seconds away”  
“Where is that idiot Castiel.”  
“Oh he’s there, so are Sam, Dean and Gabriel. They can’t save her” The Lord of all creation turned away drumming his fingers on the table top.  
“And you can?”  
“I can send her faraway, a different world, she’ll never be able to come back.”  
“That’s cruel”  
“Or I can leave her there and the world will burn” Her Father shrugged and held up his hands.   
“What kind of choice is that?”  
“Sometimes there are no good choices Ariela.”  
“Don’t I know it, I love that child.” Ariela swallowed her tears, and looked at her father. He nodded.  
“Good choice.”  
“One condition?”  
“Name it”  
“send me with her.”

A grey fog over bleak hills and Chris lying at her feet asleep on wet grass, “Get up, child.” Chris stirred eyes blinking in confusion.  
“Where the hell-”  
“Dartmoor, in England, a couple of universes to the right.” Ariela watched Chris struggle to her feet, a cut on her arm was bleeding profusely, she clutched at it staring at the blood in confusion.  
“What happen-” she mumbled, then her face went slack with shock, Ariela reached for her.  
“I burned, I felt it, I burned.”  
“You are safe now.”  
“What about Cas?”  
“I’m sorry baby girl, I had to make a deal. You won’t see him again.” Chris pulled herself upright and walked to the brow of the hill, in her head she could hear the angels calling, but one voice stood out from all the others, different, but some how still the same. She smiled to herself and took a deep breath.  
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that Momma”


End file.
